The Single Life

A lot of my friends are getting married or are already married. I am still single. My mom thinks I am depressed, but really I am not. I am just working toward my next step in life. Until I get to post about my Washington and Utah adventures, here is a list of reasons why I'm still single. 

1. I don't date just to date. Lately I haven't been dating at all, but when I am asked on a date I am not just going to keep going out with a guy if I don't see it going anywhere. Honestly, if I don't see myself ever wanting to get married to you, I am not going to waste my time on you. Sorry fellas.

2. I refuse to settle. Let me tell you, I have had so many friends that have just settled. I refuse to do so. If I have to wait until heaven to marry a stripling warrior or Captain Moroni so be it. I will settle for nothing less.

3. Boys are dumb. Let's get real ladies. As sweet as they can be, they are not always the most intelligent beings. They hurt you, and you get shattered. Some girls step up and are fine a few days later. I am not that way. I am still trying to get over the way I have been treated. Until someone comes along and shows me they aren't all the same, I probably won't trust them. Guys have hurt and insulted me too many times. If I was known for anything in college it was that I don't put up with crap. Go somewhere else with your mess.

4. I am waiting for Heavenly Father to just drop the right guy in front of me. All of my roommates had a guy just come around that was so right for them at a random time. They still had to step out of their comfort zones and work for it, but he was just there. Can that happen to me, please? Like somewhere other than singles' ward? I mean seriously I hate going there. Anywhere but there. Is that asking for too much?

5. I have high standards. I know. I have people tell me all of the time. I just want the right guy. I want someone who loves me, takes time to get to know me, is attractive, and will be a good dad for our kids. We are talking about eternity here. Don't tell me my standards are too high. 

I have a lot of reasons why I don't date. I like my life the way it is. Although I do want it to change,  change scares me. It is just new. Also, I haven't gone on a lot of first dates, but the ones I have been on are so awkward. Why do they all have to be that way? When you do start dating there is so much pressure. There was a lot of pressure when I was in school. I don't want to imagine what it is like now that I am graduated and older and supposed to be going with this already high-pressure singles' ward. Yikes! I mean, I never go on more than three dates. The one time I did it was a disaster, and after of month of dating it just had to end. Maybe I'm picky, or maybe I am just using my education in Family Life to choose the right guy. I don't know. Like I said, I don't have a lot of experience dating, and that only holds me back. It's scary, and with all of the horror stories I've heard I have become more and more hesitant about it over time. I'm still figuring out who I am. Yes, I want to get married and have a big family, but can I really do that without knowing who I am first? I always say I am too busy to date or don't want to get hurt again. Those are just excuses, but they make me feel a little better about never going on dates. People sometimes act like my time is counting down or I am making the wrong choice by chickening out of going to singles' ward activities last minute, but I'm just scared. Of all of it. For now I am content with just going with the flow. In the next few weeks I get to see two former roommates get married for eternity, and I hope one day they will be there for me when it's my turn.