Spiritual Sunday

Today there were a lot of things that hit me in church and got me thinking. I think the moment that hit me the hardest was when they sang "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go"

"So trusting my all to thy tender care., and knowing thou lovest me, I'll do thy will with a heart sincere: I'll be what you want me to be." 

That line gets to me every time I hear it. The last time I heard this song was in my freshman ward at BYU. I was going through a hard time. I was homesick, I wanted to go home, and I did not know why I was at BYU. I was tired, having a hard time with my roommate, and trying to figure out what major I was going to switch to. So, overall I was upset. I was thinking about Family Life as a major, but like everyone else I saw it as a "mommy major." I had been praying day and night for me to feel like I belonged at BYU and for help in deciding my major. I went to my ward with my roommates, and we sang this song. Tears started streaming down my cheeks, falling in my lap, and I could not sing no matter how hard I tried. Hiding my tears from my roommates, I silently read the words with each line making the wonderful feeling that was inside me grow. Then, we came to that line. I closed my eyes and knew my prayers had been heard. I knew before I came to BYU that it was the right decision. After multiple prayers about that as well, I got my confirmation. He had to reassure me at this time, and He did it through this song. It was at that point that I knew I belonged at BYU and that no matter how tired and stressed out I was, I needed to be here. When sacrament meeting was over I silently got up and walked back to my dorm. I prayed in my room, without any disturbances, about what major was the right one. I had gone to a counselor for help in picking it before, and we narrowed it down to three. At this point I prayed over those three trying to decide. The one I wanted, I did not feel right about. It turned out that I only got the "this is right" feeling with the "mommy major." I was not sure why this was, but I was not going to ignore what the Spirit was telling me. I went and changed my major that week. I was still somewhat homesick so I read my Patriarchal Blessing. Reading through it, I realized every paragraph except maybe two or three talked about my future family. Now, I do not know for sure what I am going to do with my major, but I do know that no matter what, it will benefit my future family and me in the years to come. I am living my life in accordance to the words from the song: "I'll be what you want me to be."