Victim of My Imagination AND a New Addiction

I read through my old journals the other day. Looking back, I realize that I am a victim of my own imagination. I think way too much. I think of how things were, how they are, and the way I want them to be in my perfect world. The problem is, the world isn't perfect. Things do not go the way you plan all of the time. While my brain is trying to make sense of why things are not the way I wanted them to be, I listen to my music. On my way to Arizona I listened to music the whole way. My driving playlist consisted of a fun mix of music from The Beach Boys to 80s to boy bands to the Beatles to musicals to country to Disney to love songs. All of the 14 hours worth of songs had special meaning to me, and I loved having old memories pop up on my drive. As I said before, nothing is going the way I had planned. Some things are better, and others are just irritating. I think that has brought out a little rebel streak in me. They come out sometimes in little ways not many people notice such as me not going to Young Women for a few weeks, wearing crackle nail polish, not getting my Patriarchal Blessing just because everyone kept telling me I needed to, and so on. None of them have been a huge deal. This isn't either, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a tattoo, have my hair dyed ombre, and wear a bikini. Dani is the same way so it isn't just me! I would never go out in public wearing a bikini, and I am too scared of needles to even truly consider getting a tattoo. I will live vicariously through Pinterest, but it is weird for me. I'm not usually the rebel with my all too modest clothes/swimsuits and my conservative views.

Maybe I just need a boy not necessarily to date but to spend time with. That way there won't be more drama I have to deal with. I need a boy like Eric to be my best friend. Eric is in Texas now... Where's my pinata? Anyways, through all of this rebellious stage and before when things first started going wrong, I prayed asking what I needed to do. I got my answer yesterday and after a lot of prayer and fasting today, I know it is the right thing to do. I'm excited! And... I am dangerously addicted to Downton Abbey. I went through three seasons of it in a week (the seasons are only 9 episodes). I love the drama, the romance, the plot twists, and the hilarious quotes. That show brought me to tears more than once, made me laugh, and made me squeal in delight. I even quoted it in church today in response to something Bishop said. Sadly, I found out the new season won't air in the U.S. until January. I cannot wait until then!