Starting the New Year Off Right

This blog is no longer a class assignment so I will work on keeping it updated as best I can. Here it goes... It can be hard to go home. As I try to settle into my new life I lived for so long, I realize how different I really am. People expect me to be the same person that left for college almost two years ago. I am not that girl. Looking at old pictures, I do not know what to think. I miss who I once was, and but I love who I am becoming. I used to love to draw, but I have not picked up a colored pencil in forever. The one piece of art I have here with me is something I casually look over when I walk into the office each day. I used to wear hats... My trunk full of them now stays in the back corner of my closet, unopened. I used to never try new things, but now I do that more than eat what I know. Things such as Greek yogurt, avocado  mango, kiwi, spinach, pomegranates, and Hello Dolly cookies are some of things I have been missing out on. I used to dream of being a good influence and inspiration for others. For some people I have already been, but for others I have failed. The kids I used to babysit still remember me and talk about me. A girl from school I have not talked to in two years came and gave me a huge hug in the grocery store. I obviously did something right. I used to hate talking on the phone, I used to feel so radiant like I was almost glowing, I used to read, I used to be teacher's pet, I used to have a wonderful relationship with my roommates (now I see former roommates occasionally at best and have a "hello and goodbye" relationship with my new ones), last year one of my teachers had me pinky promise that I would come back to school because he was worried about me, and most importantly I used to be so open to the idea of getting married. Before I came to school for my first semester, everyone told me to not get married. I told them not to worry about it, but it the back of my mind, I hoped. I am still open to the idea, but I am guarded in extreme measures. My dad calls me the ice princess because my heart is made of ice, and it is going to take someone very special to come along and melt it. In some ways I wish I had stayed the same, but in others I am so glad I have changed. I am far from who I once was but not yet who I am going to be. I have a few new years resolutions that I read from a book I got for Christmas. 1.I am going to read my scriptures for five minutes a day. 2.I am going to try to go to the temple once a month. 3.Really think about what I am praying about. I think those are three good things I can work on this year. Being at home was a lot of fun though. One day my mom and I sat watching the first season of "Once Upon a Time." We did that all day dozing in and out of sleep. One night I got to spend with my friend Rachel Noel. I we talked, ate, drank homemade hot chocolate, and watched a movie. We even had a fire going. One day I got to spend with my friend Courtney May. She is so cute and happy. We went to go see the movie "Parental Guidance." I was super cute and family friendly. We then went out to eat and talked about weird Utah things. I got to spend a day with my cousin Becca, my grandma, and my mom. We went to eat at Ihop. I ordered the cheese blintzes, and when they came my grandma said she bet I could not eat it all. Silly Grandma. I ate it all as well as the side of hash browns I ordered with them. We then did a little shopping, dropped my cousin off, and we then went to see "Parental Guidance" again (which I was totally okay with because it really was a cute movie). We had a family day in which we went to see "Jack Reacher." It was not my favorite. It was good, but I would like it much better watching it at home when I can have a few distractions to also entertain me. The next to last day I was home my mom and I went to see "Les Mis." It was so good. I loved it. Every minute of it. I got to spend one last day with my best friend Ashely Hickman whom I have known forever. Once again I will say I am so thankful we have stayed friends. One of my good friends from school, Eric, got engaged over the break. He has proven to me that you can make time to be with those you love. I always use the excuse that I am too busy to date, but someone told me this quote: "You will never have time for anything. If you want time, you must make it." I am going to be better with my time. I am going to work on spiritual aspects of my life, but I would also like to work on relationships I have with people. I am really going to be better. The day I left for Utah, I went to my old ward with my little brother. I loved seeing people I grew up with and having that feeling that we were a ward family even with the few people that were there. Later that day as we got closer to the airport, my breathing and heart rate got faster, and tears were harder to suppress. Waving goodbye to my mom I turned away to hide the tears that were coming for the upteenth time that day. I am so glad I went home. It took me going home to realize I need to take time to do some of the things I love, to be with people I love, and to remember what is important to me. Welcome to the new year. I think I am starting the year off well. Time with family and old friends, back to good ol' Provo, going to FHE, making snow angels and my phone falling out of my pocket (I went out two hours later to find it), and eating warm brownies with my roommates.