A Pressed Flower Between Pages

As I read a brand new or a book weathered by time I love the smell of the pages. There is something special about the smell of a book. There is also something much more special about how the book gets thicker each time you read it. It almost seems that you leave something in the pages. Memories or dreams, maybe. You leave something in between those precious pages just as the words from the pages leave something in you. As you read you spill out your thoughts. You are reminded of things you have forgotten or have not thought about. Sometimes it is even things you have wished to forget that once again come to the surface of your mind. You think of your dreams and aspirations in life as the glorious words of a good book flash across your eyes. The book may be left with a crease in the spine, a few wrinkled pages, or is simply left thicker than it was before. You learn something. You love the characters. The words of the books bring only the most vivid images to your mind. You are once again allowed to imagine. Now that I am no longer a child it is harder and harder for me to use my imagination. Books help. They always help. In reading, the book changes you, but you also change the book. This is similar for movies, but it is not quite the same. You watch and a story is brought to life. In watching, time folds upon itself and flies by or is drawn out. In both situations, I take in as much as I can. The colors. The sounds. The life. So far this summer I have watched many movies and read a few books. Gone with the Wind, The Fault in Our Stars and The Book Thief have left their impressions, and I have left mine. Years later when I see these books I will also see myself there, a younger and slightly different self that the books have preserved like a pressed flower between the pages, and I hope I remember this strange yet familiar version of myself. 

--Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

• “Usually we walk around constantly believing ourselves. "I'm okay" we say. "I'm alright". But sometimes the truth arrives on you and you can't get it off. That's when you realize that sometimes it isn't even an answer--it's a question. Even now, I wonder how much of my life is convinced.” 
• “People observe the colors of a day only at its beginnings and ends, but to me it's quite clear that a day merges through a multitude of shades and intonations with each passing moment. A single hour can consist of thousands of different colors. Waxy yellows, cloud-spot blues. Murky darkness. In my line of work, I make it a point to notice them.” 

--John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

• “My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.” 
• “Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.” 
• “You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.” 
• “Without pain, how could we know joy?' This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.” 

--Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind

• “Burdens are for shoulders strong enough to carry them.” 
• “After all, tomorrow is another day!” 
• “Never pass up new experiences. They enrich the mind." 

Let Your Faith Show

"Day after day, on your path toward your eternal destiny, increase your faith. Proclaim your faith! Let your faith show!" 

-Elder Russell M. Nelson

Going to church should always be a spiritual experience, but let me be honest for a moment here. Three hours is a long time for me and my too small attention span to sit in one freezing room. Yesterday all of the fears of graduating and not knowing what I am going to do after that hit me. They hit hard. I sat alone in my apartment for the longest time wondering why none of my plans can ever just work out. I was reading Gone With the Wind, and Scarlett's cry for home made me want to be home. But, I don't really feel at home anywhere anymore. Texas is kind of home. My family is there, but it isn't the same. I always revert back to an old version of me. Utah once felt like home but really no longer does. In the moment of that realization I felt completely lost. Today I went to church with a heavy heart ready to draw on the program through the coming hours. For once I was glad that my plans didn't work out. The theme of sacrament meeting was faith. The first speaker used a quote from President Hinckley that I cannot find right now, but in looking for it just now it made me even happier. He said, " Carry on. Things will work out. If you keep trying and praying and working, things will work out." Going along with that, Elder Holland has said, "Keep trying. Be believing. Be happy. Don't get discouraged." The speaker said that Satan works to get us to exercise fear instead of faith, but when we exercise fear with faith we use courage which brings about the smile of God's approval. So, if I let my faith show things will all work out. At the end of the talk the speaker used a quote that said the question isn't if Christ was prepared but whether or not we are prepared to feel His love and receive His strength and power. 

I feel like I should be walking with my head hanging low. I should be ashamed. My Heavenly Father has once again had to remind me to use faith and just trust Him. I wish I could remember that lesson better. I once again had to be taught this lesson, but I am not ashamed. I am thankful that He loves me enough to continue to try to teach me the same lesson. I can continue on without a plan if He is there to always watch out for me, and HE IS! Elder Holland also said, "Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven who loves you more than you can comprehend." On my path toward my eternal destiny, I am so thankful to know that there is a much better plan than mine, and that when my plans fall through there is someone always there to catch me.

Beginning the Countdown

Have you ever seen the movie 27 Dresses? This girl is a bridesmaid 27 times, but on the 28th time, she wears a white dress that she got to pick for her special day. Well, I am starting my countdown of 27 dresses. I wore one at Dani's wedding and one at Kaitlyn's. Two down, 25 more to go before my day. I need to go make more friends... Anyways, at Kaitlyn's wedding I once again got to think about what it may be like on my special day. Here are some of my ideas: 

Decorations in the church gym:

 The Groom:

The ring: 

 

 The dress:

The flowers:

And if he wants to splurge and get me a puppy with the ring... Well, I wouldn't complain!

Also, he has to want a family because I want a few of these:

And maybe one or two of these:

Dear future husband, I don't know if I have never met you or if you are someone I have known for years. I don't know what you like to do, but I do hope you like to have fun, watch movies, swim, play with dogs, and maybe even kayak on occasions. I hope you have a strong testimony of the Gospel, and I hope we can keep each other strong when times are tough. I even hope when there is a really cute shirt or dress at the store that you don't let me buy it because I would have to alter my "covenants" in order to wear it without them showing. I hope you don't mind that I don't want a big, flashy wedding. An intimate sealing and a small reception at the church gym is really all I want. I hope my dress and ring reflect who you and I are: beautiful, elegant, simple, and timeless. I hope you know that I am not like other girls. I'm not a crazy dancer, and I am not a singer unless you count times in the car when I sing as loud as I can which I know sounds horrible. I am more serious, but I will love you forever. I cannot wait until the day I find you. Whether it is tomorrow or in the years to come, I cannot wait to have eternity with you. I can't wait to have kids just like us that drive us absolutely insane sometimes but are so cute and lovable. I know you will love me, from the sass to the southern charm, because I will love you, all of you. Until that one fine day where I get to meet you... I will keep waiting and smile every time I think of it.

Because of Him

Everyone always says to not take Christ out of Christmas. Well, just because Easter doesn't conveniently have the word "Christ" in it, people often forget the meaning behind the holiday. Colorful eggs, baskets full of goodies, and the competitive hunt for treasures replace why we celebrate this wonderful day. Well, I don't have an Easter basket or yummy Easter candies to snack on (yet... I can't wait until I get home!), and I am thankful for that because I have been able to love and think about this remarkable day more fully. Although those colorful eggs are beautiful, there is a more beautiful meaning to today. Even though eating that candy is sweet, there is a much sweeter act to think about. Even though we hunt for those treasures, there is a much more valuable treasure Jesus Christ has given us.

Because of Him I have the best example to follow.

Because of Him I always have loving arms surrounding me. 

Because of Him I can be with my family for eternity. 

Because of Him I can be forgiven when I mess up. 

Because of Him I know I can make it through my trials. 

Because of Him I never have to walk alone. 

Because of Him I can enjoy the beauty all around me. 

Because of Him I too can live again.

Because of Him there are no true endings.
Because of Him I am truly happy.

#LDSconf The Blessings are Real

No Longer Afraid

By: Megan Fairchild

I have bitten my fingers until they've bled, 

and I've tossed and turned in my sleep. 

I walk with the speed of a frightened girl, 

and I have not muttered a peep. 

I've gone through work and classes, 

becoming sore and tired on the way. 

All this and my brain doesn't stop worrying, 

very much to my dismay. 

You see, I've got a knack for over-thinking, 

over-analyzing every detail. 

I just wish I could think and worry 

on a much smaller kind of scale. 

Good thing the Lord is always watching 

and waiting for me to call for His aid. 

He quickly stretches out his hand. 

Then, thankfully I am no longer afraid. 

Conference was the blessing of all blessings for me. When you watch with a prayer in your heart, it is always answered even if it is not how you would expect. You would think 8 hours (10 for the men) of talks and hymns in two days seems a little extreme, but I almost wanted more. Elder Holland taught me what it takes to be a disciple of Christ, and told us to take heart because pure Christ-like love can change the world. Elder Rasband shared D&C 84:88 which is just a beautiful scripture that is one of my favorites. Elder Anderson taught me that challenges will come, but when I put my trust in my Heavenly Father those challenges will strengthen me. President Eyring made me cry. He reminded me that through the converts in my family, I am left with a priceless heritage of hope and by holding the gospel in my hands I also hold the happiness of more people than I can imagine. I hope I can leave the example of faith and hope that he mentioned. Elder Nelson told us that faith is the antidote for fear, and it is always safe to put our faith in Christ and let it show. Elder Scott simply told me that it may seem difficult to put my faith and trust in the Lord, but I must find a way. Elder Hales taught me that I want to be one in whom the Lord is well-pleased, and I want to be called a good and faithful servant. Elder Cook gave me more motivation to do temple work. President Uchtdorf taught that we can be grateful for our circumstances no matter what they are. There are no true endings only everlasting beginnings. Elder Stevens said that the gospel is not weight but wings. God accomplishes miracles one prayer at a time, one person at a time, and prayer doesn't change God. It changes me. Elder Stevenson said that if we seek His help and follow His directions, we cannot lose. We should run the race that is set before us with patience. Elder Bednar helped me realize that the Savior really does help us bear our burdens with ease because He perfectly knows and understands each one of us and what we are going through. President Monson said that opportunities to show our love may come unexpectedly, but if we act on them the recipient may remember them for a lifetime. President Packer reminded us to build our foundation on Christ, while Elder Walker told us we are standing on the shoulders of giants (those brave saints who have come before us). Elder Crowbridge taught that the heavens are not closed and we still have revelations given to us. Elder Teh told us that faith in Jesus Christ gives us hope that everything will work out eventually, and Elder Aidukaitis said that faith requires work. President Monson closed this conference by saying that Heavenly Father will come close to us, and He will go far to help us. He loves us. No matter if you are a member or not, I invite you to read or watch at least some of the conference talks. Pick one that sounds interesting. Come with one question, or a few. I know it will be answered. I am so thankful to have a prophet and apostles on the earth today, and I am thankful for all of the words that were shared this weekend. Because I am no longer afraid.

With Each Word and Action We Testify

There are constant reassurances in my life that my Heavenly Father knows me. He knows what I want, and he knows what I need. I went on a date Friday night. I know all of you are laughing because I always say that I never get asked out. It is a real fear of mine that I may never get married because I never go on dates. Well, right when I get to the peak of my panic, I am asked out on a date. I should be fine for a while now, but I am going on another date this Thursday. Now I am laughing at myself. The date was so fun though. Seriously. I needed that. Then today, there was the General Women's Meeting. It was beautiful. I learned a few things. Women need women. We need the deep, satisfying, and loyal relationships with one another. We need to love one another MORE as well as to love one another BETTER. I especially liked President Eyring's talk. He said trials, tests, and opportunities are chosen just for you, and Heavenly Father's plan helps us navigate through them. With that help, we can help others through theirs. The journey through life is too hard without help, but with help we can feel the joy as we journey back home. Lastly, as we move up the pathway towards our potential we bring about God's approval. In one of the talks, we were asked what it means to us to be a disciple of Christ. I thought about that a lot for the rest of the night and into Sunday. I will tell you part of my testimony that is ever-changing and ever-growing. I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. I know that if I put my trust in my Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost I will be able to choose the right path. I know some wrong paths will be disguised as opportunities in my life, but with a little help, I will be able to navigate through them. I do not know where life will take me, but I will find joy in the journey. I know that happiness comes from the light of Christ radiating in my life. I know that to make a difference in the world, I have to be different from the world. I am trying to do that by living the gospel of Christ. I know that my part matters because I matter to my Heavenly Father. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. I am proud to be a Mormon. I am thankful for the scriptures and how I can learn from them no matter how many times I read them. I am so thankful for a living prophet on the earth today, and I am thankful that I can consistently learn from him and his apostles. With that being said, I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be here at BYU. I get to "run into" the apostles quite often. Today, it was Elder Bednar. He taught me something, as apostles usually do. He said, "You can be prepared for life, but you're never in control of it." He went on to tell us that we are not in charge, our Heavenly Father is. We need to act, not be acted upon. When we act, we are acting on opportunities given to us by our Heavenly Father. It was a magical morning. I needed to hear exactly what he had to say. It's funny how things work out like that... 

Brain Dead

Tuesday after classes I got to talk to Eric on the phone. It felt good to smile or laugh the entire way home. I am so thankful that even though he is married we can still talk. I am so thankful to have a friend like him in my life no matter how weird other people think our relationship is. This week was a little crazy, and I loved getting that break. Monday I spent three hours in orientation for my internship at the Division of Child and Family Services. I am so excited. Wednesday I went to the temple with Meghan and got to do family names for these two little old women there. They were so cute!
Thursday! Kaitlyn invited me to a Women in Business event. Guys, I wish I could express my excitement here. I am just so tired right now, and no matter what I said I wouldn't be able to do it justice. I met Sister Dalton. I saw her in her glorious sunshine yellow blazer, and my mouth fell open and quickly formed a gigantic smile. She made eye contact with me with my mouth still gaping open. She said hello to me, and I am pretty sure I stopped breathing for a moment. Then, she shook my hand! Ah!!!! I was so happy. Kaitlyn and I got seats on the third row, but we soon got up and took a picture with Sister Dalton. I thought I was happy before... Not even close. I couldn't stop smiling. And... I got to hug her. I am pretty sure that my love for Sister Dalton will be as close as I will ever get to idol worship, and let me tell you it's pretty close. Her words were amazing. The rest of the event couldn't even compete. The event did make me think though... If I were a little smarter, I would get my Master's in business. Too bad.
I finally applied for graduation. I also scheduled a meeting with my advisor so they can approve my application. With that application in, I was invited to an event called Senior Celebration and a luncheon for the School of Family Life graduates in which my most influential teachers are invited. I also scheduled a haircut (I've never gotten one in Utah so it was a big deal). I got tickets to see Elizabeth Smart speak in a couple weeks. I missed her when she spoke a week or so ago, and I wasn't going to miss it this time. I am excited to hear her. At work at I had to run to the BYUSA office. I ran into Angela. Boy do I miss her. It was nice to get to talk to her for a minute and awkwardly give her a side hug since I had numerous black lights in my arms at the moment. I really do need to make it a priority to go in and actually talk to her. I haven't seen her since August.
You know how Friday is supposed to be date night? Well, instead of going on a date I gave a two hour class on marriage enrichment to couples. My capstone project is mostly done. I created the program from theory and research and practiced it. All I have to do now is write up a paper on it. I survived! After working on a powerpoint for hours this morning I have given up. I am exhausted. I should get out and do something fun since it is the weekend, but I am so dang tired!
Honestly, can I be done now? 39 days until I am home. 44 days until I am twenty. 151 days until graduation. 

Thoughts on a Thursday

I know this is a couple days late, but I said I would talk about my Social Work class. We talked about what it takes to be a social worker. You have to be compassionate, without judgment, patient, knowledgeable, confident, roll with resistance, have set boundaries, be passionate about the work, have a sense of humor, be fun, energetic, creative, optimistic, and hopeful, and know how to take care of yourself and unwind. I loved what we learned in that class. It reminded me of two scriptures. Matthew 25:40 where it says "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." It also reminded me of D&C 18:15 where it says if "you bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!" I get to help and work with wonderful people and maybe not share the gospel with them but give them another chance! 

On Tuesday we had another wonderful devotional. In the song "I am a Child of God" the child pleas singing, "lead me, guide me, walk beside me." The speaker said that it isn't really a child's plea but a prayer each of us have in our hearts. She referred to D&C 112:10. Go read it. She said we just need to look up when we are in need of help because angels seen and unseen are there to help. She also mentioned that promptings are quiet and unobtrusive and we have to listen AND obey to be led and guided. I loved her talk. I even took notes this week!

In class later that day our teacher made the profound statement that the Lord loves broken things. A broken cloud brings rain that nourishes the ground, broken ground brings wheat, broken wheat brings bread that nourishes us, broken bread reminds us of the sacrament to bring us closer to Christ, and broken hearts help us come unto Christ. I was amazed. 

On Wednesday, I got to go to the temple with Meghan. It was amazing that instead of cancelling our trip since we couldn't go on Friday, we rescheduled and no one was there. We were the only ones there. It was beautiful. We even had time to have hot chocolate together afterwards before we went our separate ways. It felt good. 

Here is a thoughtful post on Thursday. Tomorrow I will post yet another late post on the Oscars because they were amazing with all of the dresses and glitz and glam. Be prepared for a fashion Friday post! 

In My Own Little Corner

In my own little corner, in my own little chair I can be whatever I want to be. 

Last night I was up until almost two in the morning. I had to stay up until midnight to sign up for my classes next semester. That wasn't a big deal. I was done ten minutes later with all of the classes that I wanted. Then, I started dreaming of what life will be like after I graduate. I went through my map of classes to make sure I was on track for my CFLE and internship. I looked at internship opportunities as well as where job opportunities were for when I was done. Like I said, I did not go to sleep until almost two in the morning. 

I'm a girl men go mad for. Love's a game I can play with a cool and confident kind of air.

It was a long day. Good thing I love my job. I do not have a ton to do right now, so I was helping the officers with everything they needed. Guys, I got in trouble for flirting with a couple of the officers. My mom always says that I do not know how to flirt. I always insist that I do. Today I proved it. I got in trouble for flirting with two guys.

Then I'm glad to be back in my own little corner. All alone in my own little chair. 

Back at home, I love seeing Dani. She brightens my day. Every time. She truly is a sweet spirit, and I don't mean that in a "bless her heart" kind of way. I love her. 

I'm the bell of the ball in my own little corner. All alone in my own little chair. 

I got some time alone tonight. Those moments give me the opportunity to enjoy the quiet and think about what I really want out of life. I ended up continuously thinking about three songs from the Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella. I ended up watching the movie and listening to those three songs over and over again. Maybe they will give you some insight into what I was thinking about. 

If the Number on the Scale Was My Test Score and Vice Versa

There was nothing really special about today. It was an average Monday. I was a little let down not too far into it, and the feeling was hard to shake. I slowly walked into my meeting since I was already late, but I made it just in time to hear this thought. Succeed anyway. Be happy anyway. Do good anyway. Give your best anyway.... My best will never be enough. Honestly, I am not the skinniest or the prettiest. I do not feel comfortable in some clothes. I am not as small as I was freshman year of high school. But really, who is? I do not go on very many dates.... Dang that Anderson curse. I work all of the time, and I work hard only to be yelled at sometimes. I try to be a good friend for my friends or roommates to learn something secondhand. Then they do not have all of the information and get mad at me. I can study for hours on end to get a mediocre score on a test. I try to do everything right only to be tried and tested even more by Satan. You know what though? I am perfect in my own "I'm going to eat as many french fries as I want, wear whatever I want, do what I think is right, keep wading through the storm, and keep smiling" kind of way. It is between me and my Heavenly Father. None of the other pointless drama matters. I am doing my best, and that is all that matters right now.

Words of Wisdom and Thin Mints

Thank goodness for moms. Seriously. I do not know what I would do without my mom. Although we fight and get on each others' ever-loving last nerve, I love my momma. I have been thinking a lot lately. I have had a lot to think about. Saturday night so much was going through my mind that I went on a run. I ran until I threw up. It did not make me feel better at all.
Sunday, I felt a little better other than my crazy sore muscles. It was only my mom that could make me feel a lot better though. She is the best free psychiatrist there is.
As I sat in my car today waiting for it to be time for my interview, I was listening to the seconds ticking by on my watch. With each second passing, my heart beat a little bit faster. My mind raced right along side it, and I realized I wasn't breathing after a few seconds when I started to feel a little light headed. My brain was so busy worrying about other things it forgot to work on the supposedly involuntary actions... I went in to my interview a little early. I primped in the bathroom and came out to see Madi Thorpe standing there. Blessing. Let me take a minute to recognize the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life today. I went in to my interview calm, and I feel like I handled it well. We shall see...
After I left, I went in to the office to pick up my Administration team yearbook. Seeing Angela always makes my day. She gave me a few more words of wisdom and even made me laugh. I left her office and started flipping through the yearbook she so artistically put together. Nostalgia for the life I had just a couple months ago filled every part of my body. The tears wanted to come, but I would not let them. They were mostly from the memories of what once was, but let's face it... I was extremely sore.
I can say that I have eaten a sleeve of thin mints today. That tells you my day wasn't terrible, but it easily could have been better. The thin mints were justified. Looking on the bright side, my day consisted of blessings, words of wisdom, and time with friends. 

Motivation, Dedication, and Desire

My motivation to finish this semester is gone. My dedication to BYUSA is dwindling. Honestly, it is my love for the people in my classes, teachers, and friends I work with that are keeping me going. I am tired. It is also a nice break from my hectic life when Andrew and I go out each night even if it is only for a short walk or sitting in the park on a blanket just looking at the stars. As the days slide by, I check things off of my list of things I have to do before the semester is over. After today, I have 12 things I have to finish before classes are over on Monday. So much to do, so little desire. Yesterday was the Passing the Torch ceremony for BYUSA. I really was not happy about having to go, and it was hard to watch. I made it through... 

One of the things I had on my list for today was to go back and listen to one of the devotionals I half listened to a few weeks ago. I went back for one quote in particular, but I learned a few things. Michelle Marchant said, "One of [Heavenly Father's] greatest desires is to guide your future as he has your past." I have been learning to trust in Him lately. I made the goal to put all of my trust in Him when I was going through such a hard time, and honestly amazing things have happened since I decided to do that. One of his greatest desires is to guide my future... He is welcome to it. She then read the scripture Abraham 3:22-23. They say, "Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all there were many noble and great ones; and God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These will I make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou was born." She then proceeded to say, "I testify that your presence and purpose upon this earth are as important to God as any of the noble and great ones who have gone before." We are all the noble and great ones that Abraham talked about. We have been chosen. Our Heavenly Father loves all of us, and he does not see any one of us as better than another. We all have a divine destiny. 

Then, I came to the quote I was looking for all along. Elder Maxwell said, "The same God that placed that star in a precise orbit millenia before it appeared over Bethlehem in celebration of the birth of the babe has given at least equal attention to placement of each of us in precise orbits so that we may, if we will, illuminate the landscape of our individual lives so that our light may not only lead others but warm them as well." And... my desire and motivation is back. I want my light to not only lead but to warm others. I want people to smile because class was cancelled because I was so happy. I want people to feel comfortable in the office because of my warm, inviting smile. I want to be the girl everyone may not know but can make them smile and have a better day anyways. This is the last week of classes. I can't give up now! Finals are coming!! 

A Huge Thanks, Mormon Messages, and a New Goal

Sometimes your friends send you a link to a Mormon Message, and you end up watching a lot of them. Thank you, Emilee, for making my night better. 

When you have prayed to Heavenly Father saying, "Hope ya know, I'm having a hard time," you have to continue on with an infinite power of hope that you're never alone and that there are good things to come saying, "Come what may and love it." 

My dad told me to read a couple scriptures today. They say: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths." 

Once again I am having to turn my life over to the Lord. Apparently my way is not the way I am supposed to go. I have to start trusting with ALL of my heart... 

NEW GOAL: Be like a General Authority. aka... Be like Sister Dalton: happy, glowing with the light of Christ, an inspiration to others, and able to wear bright yellow even though blonde. 

Still Learning

In area meeting on Monday, Eric read a section from the BYU magazine just as a good thought to keep in mind because we had extra time. It was by Mitt Romney. Someone told him in order to figure out what his core values were he needed to list five people he most admired and respected and then write five attributes we thought of when we thought of these people. Here are mine:

1. My mom and dad- family, devotion, loving, honest, Christlike

2. Brother Smith- service, funny,caring, Christlike, devotion

3. Sister Bergquist- family, happy, devotion, service, loving

4. Sister Dalton- family, devotion, Christlike, happy, service

5. Jesus- service, loving, integrity, devotion, pure

The top four things I listed were family, devotion, loving, and service. Those four things I listed the most are my core values. In the article it says if we continue to live in a way that is consistent with these core values we will be happy and fulfilled.  I was very surprised when the next quote was read. "... with these at our center, chance does not come into play in determining our success or failure. The ability to live with integrity with the core of our values of love, family, service, and devotion is entirely up to us. Fundamentally, this is the business of successful living." 

While waiting for devotional to start yesterday, someone was singing a song about Friday  It made me laugh. I only know a little bit of it, but here it is: Monday's a bummer, Tuesday's only fair, Wednesday's getting better, Thursday's almost there, but Friday... Friday is my favorite day. 

Every week I go to devotional not because I have to but because I love it. I am spiritually uplifted every week I make the effort to listen to what is being said. Yesterday's devotional was on living your life with a purpose. The speaker hit several points that I needed to hear.

-Sometimes we get distracted from the aspirations our Heavenly Father has in mind for us, but it is our job to work back up to them. 

-Sometimes we need to let go of something good for something better. 

-We should not be deterred from challenges big or small and enjoy the beauty all around us. 

-All we have to do is keep trusting in our Heavenly Father and his plans/timing. 

-All answers to prayers do not come when we ask for them, but we are always heard and never alone. 

-True friends treat you like a campsite and leave you better than they found you. 

-Challenges of each day do not always fade with the sunset. 

She also talked about Survival Mode. She said this was the time she just told herself she had to keep going. At the BYU/SA retreat they talked about how sometimes you have to just say to yourself "I can do anything for [insert amount of time here]." In an eternal perspective, whatever is going on at the time is but a small moment. The speaker talked about survival mode and how sometimes when you are in it opportunities pass you by and relationships wane. You miss out on things because you are so focused on how much you have to do. We all get in that mode, but we need to remember that our Heavenly Father is always there for us. Psalms 27:14 says, "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart..." I just have to continue to trust in the Lord and His timing. 

Starting the New Year Off Right

This blog is no longer a class assignment so I will work on keeping it updated as best I can. Here it goes... It can be hard to go home. As I try to settle into my new life I lived for so long, I realize how different I really am. People expect me to be the same person that left for college almost two years ago. I am not that girl. Looking at old pictures, I do not know what to think. I miss who I once was, and but I love who I am becoming. I used to love to draw, but I have not picked up a colored pencil in forever. The one piece of art I have here with me is something I casually look over when I walk into the office each day. I used to wear hats... My trunk full of them now stays in the back corner of my closet, unopened. I used to never try new things, but now I do that more than eat what I know. Things such as Greek yogurt, avocado  mango, kiwi, spinach, pomegranates, and Hello Dolly cookies are some of things I have been missing out on. I used to dream of being a good influence and inspiration for others. For some people I have already been, but for others I have failed. The kids I used to babysit still remember me and talk about me. A girl from school I have not talked to in two years came and gave me a huge hug in the grocery store. I obviously did something right. I used to hate talking on the phone, I used to feel so radiant like I was almost glowing, I used to read, I used to be teacher's pet, I used to have a wonderful relationship with my roommates (now I see former roommates occasionally at best and have a "hello and goodbye" relationship with my new ones), last year one of my teachers had me pinky promise that I would come back to school because he was worried about me, and most importantly I used to be so open to the idea of getting married. Before I came to school for my first semester, everyone told me to not get married. I told them not to worry about it, but it the back of my mind, I hoped. I am still open to the idea, but I am guarded in extreme measures. My dad calls me the ice princess because my heart is made of ice, and it is going to take someone very special to come along and melt it. In some ways I wish I had stayed the same, but in others I am so glad I have changed. I am far from who I once was but not yet who I am going to be. I have a few new years resolutions that I read from a book I got for Christmas. 1.I am going to read my scriptures for five minutes a day. 2.I am going to try to go to the temple once a month. 3.Really think about what I am praying about. I think those are three good things I can work on this year. Being at home was a lot of fun though. One day my mom and I sat watching the first season of "Once Upon a Time." We did that all day dozing in and out of sleep. One night I got to spend with my friend Rachel Noel. I we talked, ate, drank homemade hot chocolate, and watched a movie. We even had a fire going. One day I got to spend with my friend Courtney May. She is so cute and happy. We went to go see the movie "Parental Guidance." I was super cute and family friendly. We then went out to eat and talked about weird Utah things. I got to spend a day with my cousin Becca, my grandma, and my mom. We went to eat at Ihop. I ordered the cheese blintzes, and when they came my grandma said she bet I could not eat it all. Silly Grandma. I ate it all as well as the side of hash browns I ordered with them. We then did a little shopping, dropped my cousin off, and we then went to see "Parental Guidance" again (which I was totally okay with because it really was a cute movie). We had a family day in which we went to see "Jack Reacher." It was not my favorite. It was good, but I would like it much better watching it at home when I can have a few distractions to also entertain me. The next to last day I was home my mom and I went to see "Les Mis." It was so good. I loved it. Every minute of it. I got to spend one last day with my best friend Ashely Hickman whom I have known forever. Once again I will say I am so thankful we have stayed friends. One of my good friends from school, Eric, got engaged over the break. He has proven to me that you can make time to be with those you love. I always use the excuse that I am too busy to date, but someone told me this quote: "You will never have time for anything. If you want time, you must make it." I am going to be better with my time. I am going to work on spiritual aspects of my life, but I would also like to work on relationships I have with people. I am really going to be better. The day I left for Utah, I went to my old ward with my little brother. I loved seeing people I grew up with and having that feeling that we were a ward family even with the few people that were there. Later that day as we got closer to the airport, my breathing and heart rate got faster, and tears were harder to suppress. Waving goodbye to my mom I turned away to hide the tears that were coming for the upteenth time that day. I am so glad I went home. It took me going home to realize I need to take time to do some of the things I love, to be with people I love, and to remember what is important to me. Welcome to the new year. I think I am starting the year off well. Time with family and old friends, back to good ol' Provo, going to FHE, making snow angels and my phone falling out of my pocket (I went out two hours later to find it), and eating warm brownies with my roommates. 

Thankful...

 

  I am thankful for long walks that I have no reason for going on. It just gives me time to think.

I am thankful for answered prayers even when you receive an answer you were not expecting. Sometimes you just have to lift up your head, realize that you are a daughter of God, and keep on going. 

   I am thankful that I do not have to have everything figured out all of the time. Looking at my planner I see everything scheduled out so perfectly. Sometimes it makes me feel better because it provides some order for my life, but other times it is completely overwhelming. Today was one of the overwhelming days. I completely disregarded my scheduled life, and I felt free. After an ice cream social and a good talk with Mallory, I made my way home talking to my mom. It felt so good outside so I stayed out there. There was a rainbow over the mountain. Rainbows are one of my favorite things. They show that there is still good in the world even if it is not always shining. Not everything has to be perfect for you to see beautiful. Not everything has to be figured out to move forward.

Oh Darling

So, I just realized I did not do a thankful post this week. It was kind of crazy as always. No big deal. Anyways, I need to do it now. There will just be two this week.
1. I am thankful that I estimated the perfect amount of food for our Meet and Mingle. Not enough would have been a disaster, but having too much would have been just as bad. Not only did I order enough food, but the decorations were perfect and just fun! Way to go team! We made it through our first Meet and Mingle.
2. I am thankful for time I have to sit and think. It does not come often, but I got some this week. It made a huge difference in figuring out what I wanted from life and some other things. I needed it more than ever, and I got it at the perfect time.
3. I am thankful when people fight over me in the office. Two other Vice Presidents have threatened to steal me from Eric. From one saying, "Megan, I want someone like you... No, that's a lie. I want you!" To another saying, "She is amazing! Do you realize how amazing she is?!" To one more saying, "You better be careful, Eric. I may steal her from you." It makes me feel loved when people do that. Apparently I am doing something right in BYUSA at least.
4. I am thankful that I go to a classy school like BYU. The U does not have to plastic wrap their statues to keep people from painting them, they do not have a penalty in a football game for breaking the rules and rushing the field twice before the game is over, and they do not get beer thrown on them from our fans, even when we lose by three points in the Holy War. Way to keep it classy, BYU!
5. I am thankful for cute love songs. Ones like the one I have on here just make me happy. I may never be in a relationship, but these make me smile every time I hear them.