When You Believe

I am sorry. I have not been myself lately. I have been sad, grumpy, and I have wanted to be alone and just eat chocolate and potatoes. The weather is not helping, but I have let myself be that way. There has been so much going on. I have not been the happy girl I usually am.
I have been selfish. I have been thinking about me. After one of the interviews we held to replace Angela, my coordinator asked me what I was doing next year. Eric answered and told her I was waiting to see who got the spot for President and Executive Vice President. That may have been true a month ago, but now I am trying to get past the fear. She said that I should decide to do it because I love the organization not necessarily because I love the people. She is right, so I have chosen to go forward with it and see what happens. Since I have made that choice, I want to talk to my coordinator, but I have started the application. We got someone to replace Angela that is going to be great. Having a boy in her position isn't quite the same, but it works. I like him being there. I am not all that hungry, but I put forth the effort to actually make good dinners now. I have been having nightmares. Some nights are full of them, but I only had two last night. I will eventually get used to this new roommate. I missed an interview in one of my classes, but  my teacher was sick so she ended up not being there either so we rescheduled it. I went to the ward activity which was a lot of fun. I needed a little social interaction. My teacher used one of my papers as an example in class which is always a good sign. Also, one of my best friends is about to get married. He was the one I was always with. We did everything together from office stuff to making key lime pie to Seven Peaks to shopping for drinking glasses to going to our coordinator's granddaughter's third birthday party. Everyone always thought we were married because we were always together. Now he is engaged. If you have seen "My Best Friend's Wedding" that is kind of how I feel. I am pretty sure I could write an even better sequel based on my life. I am going to miss him, but this is the best thing for everyone.

Things are getting better. It is still a frigid wilderness outside, but it has to warm up at some point. Eric is usually not in the office so I am running our area giving me an even better chance of getting that position next year, I am doing better in all of my classes, and my mom gave me the hug I needed so desperately. I just have to keep trying. I love this song. It just goes along with everything right now. Also, I liked Samantha Barks before it was cool. Hipster.