The Cost of Living

"I'm scared. What if it doesn't work out... what if it does? That's the cost of living I guess." 

Every time I see my friend Austin, he asks me how I am doing. We are both having a hard time figuring out what next year will bring for us. We have shared a few moments that have brought us closer together because of this. Times like watching a Mormon Message titled "Come What May and Love It" and almost crying, walking around the Wilk and hugging, and talking about how we need to trust in the Lord and realize all he does for us. We have come to find that He knows what we are going through and what we are going to go through. The other day I realized that the quote for this week in my planner talked about trusting in the Lord. I wrote those quotes in there weeks ago. Heavenly Father knew exactly what was going to happen. Austin always tells me that when one door closes, another one or two will open up, and it is just our job to find them. Thank you Austin for consistently changing my perspective on things. 

In church today we learned that Satan's biggest tool is discouragement. Dear Satan, it isn't going to work. I am keeping my faith in the Lord not in the outcomes. I do not know if it was a door opened for me when Andrew asked me out on a date. It may just be a window or just me being really happy right now. Our first date was so much fun. It was a night full of firsts. It was my first time to go to a Men's Chorus concert, my first time to go to SubZero, my first time to watch Seinfeld, and most importantly, the first time to go on a first date with a guy and not feel completely scared and awkward. I loved it, and I cannot wait to go out again tomorrow. 

I have learned a lot this year. I have truly learned how to put my trust in my Heavenly Father. I can speak in public and not be nervous. I can drive with my knees. I found out if you stick your earbuds against your nostrils and open your mouth, you create a speaker. I have so much fun on dates. I eat broccoli and avocado. I do not mind my food touching. My steak does not have to be cooked all of the way through. I have learned the mom mentality that it is hard to go through a trial, but it is harder to watch someone you love go through one. I have learned that reaching out to people that need you comes with the best rewards you can imagine. I have learned that not everything works out the way you plan, but everything works out with wonderful friends and family at your side. I have grown a lot this year, but honestly, I cannot wait until these thirty-five days are over so I can go home! So, I may be scared of things working out or not. The unknown scares me, but that is just the cost of living. Come what may and love it.