Plans Change

Sometimes your dreams and plans change. You can't help it. I have been thinking about this for a while, and now I am making it official. I have changed the colors I want at my wedding. I want navy and yellow. It is classy and still fun. You see the little ball flowers? I love those! Bridesmaid bouqets: my favorite. The blue willow plates: also my favorite. I love it. 

I also want a sparkler exit. No bubbles. No rice. Sparklers. 

I can keep dreaming. 

You Are Loved

My day was made several times today. The first time was at eight in the morning. Hard to believe. I got a text telling me to look up my name on the urban dictionary. Most of the time I only use that to look up slang words I don't know, so I was kind of skeptical. When I did, I got an amazing surprise. 

• "A Megan is always awesome, period. If you haven't met three or more Megans by the time you're 15 you don't live in America. A Megan has a blonde streak, whether she wears it or not. She has a way of brightening your bad days. A Megan knows how to party like a rockstar. Megans hold pride in the fact that thier name is spelled correctly, without any "h"s, one "e", and one "a" in order. No one is complete without a Megan as a bff."
• Megan: Hey, I'm Megan! 
  Meghan: hey, me too! 
  Megan: cool, how do you spell it? 
  Meghan: m-e-g-h-a-n 
  Megan: haha, you spelled it wrong. its okay though, just don't flip when i call you meg-han

So cute right? I loved it! The second one I had to post on Meghan's wall. It made me laugh out loud. Literally. My whole day was fantastic. I do not know why. It just was. I ran from class to class, and loved all of them even though I almost fell asleep in Stats and New Testament. No big deal. BYUSA was the same as always. I did what I had to do, stayed late to talk to a friend, and so on. One thing that I did love was when one of the guys started singing a song about angel eyes and pointed to me. It is a real song! It was done by Steelheart. It isn't my favorite when the band sings it, but it was so cute when he was doing it. It made me laugh considering that is the name of my blog. My dad calls me that and wrote a poem for me which is why I named my blog this. With Rob singing to me, all I could do was stand there in amazement with a stupid ear-to-ear grin on my face. After I left the office I drove up to Timp Lodge for the ward social. So good. My team won two out of three of the tug-of-wars. I just got to have fun and relax by the fire away from the now chilly mountain air. I love that Utah has seasons. Fall is here. Do you want to know how I figured that out? Well, last year I consistently got hit in the face with something falling from a tree every time I walked under one. The tradition continues. Anyways, when I got back from the ward social I worked on homework and checked my email. The BYUSA newsletter had finally come through. Eric wanted me to look at it earlier, but I was busy, and it wouldn't come through my email. It was nine o'clock. I scrolled through finding it to be nothing special. I even found a few mistakes (should have been an English major). Then, I got to the very bottom where the volunteer spotlights are. I am on there. At first I was like, "What the heck is happening?!" I texted Eric and gave him grief in a teasing manner, but seriously why? I am now going to have a poster with my picture up in the office. Great. I thanked him eventually. The only thing is the fact that now I feel kind of bad. I was just teasing (kind of but not really) him about needing a new name-tag so I could be in Student Honor instead of Admin. I am so thankful that he appreciates and notices me. There are days when I feel like I do nothing and days where I feel used and abused. I am not a huge fan of being spotlighted. A candy bar would have sufficed, but it is so good to know I am loved. 

Feel Good Songs

I was listening to this song the other day. For some reason I feel like it really applies to me. I love it.
"Close your tired eyes. Relax, and then count from one to ten, and open them. All these heavy thoughts will try to weigh you down but not this time... Fill the darkest night with brilliant light 'cause it's time for you to shine brighter than a shooting star, so shine no matter where you are tonight."

I am also obsessed with this song right now. Every time I get in the car it comes on, and it makes me so happy every stinkin' time. "Woke up on the right side of the bed.... Slept in all my clothes like I didn't care..." Story of my life. 

I LOVE the lyric videos for these. I do not know why. These are my feel good songs. 

The Most Important Thing

My Facebook cover photo is simple. It says nothing more than, "The most important thing is to be happy." The picture behind these words of wisdom is the sky. So simple, right? Wrong. 

Like I have said before, getting back in to the groove of things is more difficult than ever before. On Thursday I sat with a friend in the BYUSA office and we just talked for two hours. Okay it wasn't really talking. We were venting to each other. The day before we had gone down and just studied in the Wilk, and people recognized both of us from BYUSA pictures, posters, the knew our names or so on. We are NEVER off duty from BYUSA. We always have to be the examples and often put on a smile whether we want to or not. It is hard. I expected them to recognize her, but when they recognized me as well, I knew we were in for it. Anyways, we sat and vented... for two hours. I mean, really, we both needed someone to just sit and listen, and to have such a good friend and chocolate there it made things even better. When we were done, we apologized to each other for venting so much, even though we knew we both needed it, and we hugged for a really long time. Walking home, I felt like a new person. Not having to look so perfectly put together for a couple hours relieved me. On my way, another person stopped me and talked to me because they "knew" me. I did not mind. I love it. I like knowing I am not invisible like I was last year. I like people knowing my name even though I have no idea who they are. I like it when they stop me to talk to me. 

Friday I was ready for classes.  I went to both of them with a twinkle in my eye and a spring in my step. I enjoyed them both. A lot. It was kind of weird considering they were Statistics and Family Finance. I came home, did laundry and a few other chores, made my room look more homey, got homework done, and did everything that suited my fancy. I went to the Women's Volleyball game, and then went to Fall Fest. Along with Dani, Makenna, Kaitlyn, Janessa, and Whitney, I got J-Dawgs, got to talk and have fun, and went to Comedy Sports which is a stand up comedy group. We were joined by Eric and Maddie for that. They were so funny! When we were done, we went our separate ways, and a few of us went to watch "Sister Act." I left before the movie was over because it was late, but walking down the stairs to my apartment I realized the significance of my cover photo. It is so true! The most important thing really is to be happy. When you are happy, everything seems so much better. So many heavy thoughts will try to weigh you down, but you can't let it. I was letting the stress of classes, homework, and my insane schedule get the best of me. I won't let it this time. I like being the one people look to when they need someone happy. I love being able to brighten someone's day even when I can't necessarily brighten my own. Here's the thing though... By creating light for others, we naturally light our own way. The most important thing really is to be happy.
Because it is the last day of the week I also need to write three things I am thankful for. This time it is all going to be people who I love so much.
1. I am thankful for Mallory for venting with me. I love her. She is wonderful.
2. I am thankful for Abe and his hugs and high fives. I am also thankful for him because at Fall Fest he was making me laugh SO hard when he kept saying my name over the megaphone like Dani did last winter in her own kind of creepy way.
3. I am thankful for all of those that went to Fall Fest with me. I really love them all and always enjoy their company. 

I Love My Friends!

I feel like this semester is harder than most, and it isn't only me who thinks this way. A lot of my friends agree with me that for some reason, we are having a harder time getting in the groove of things. I feel like I have been in school for three months, and this is only the second week. We are in trouble. Elder Holland once said, "Some things are not under your control. Some disappointments come regardless of your effort and preparation, for God wishes us to be strong as well as good... In this too, you have friends through the ages in whom you can take comfort and with whom you can form timeless bonds." Sometimes things do not go your way. Some things already this week have left me disappointed and worried. Yesterday was a holiday. I have only been back to school one day this week. What the heck is going on? When I went to meet with the bishop today, he and his second counselor pointed out how tired I looked. Well thanks for that. I just have to keep going. Good thing I have amazing friends. Whether it be watching "Lord of the Rings," making faces at each other during the devotional, texting back and forth all day, two guys I don't really know from my ward honking and waving at me while I was walking to BYUSA, planning Skype dates, going out for pie shakes, or just sitting and talking for the little amount of free time I have, I know I have those friends Elder Holland talks about that I am forming timeless bonds with. I love them all. President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. If we will put our trustin Him, if we pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers." 

All Great Things

Sister Hinckley said, "There are two ways to get through life. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache." I completely agree with her, but I have smiled through my mess of a week, and today when I had time to sit and think about things during church I realized how tired I really am. I keep going to the brink of crying. I have not let it go yet, but I have come close several times today with teary eyes and a shaky voice. Let's just say I am a bit overwhelmed. If all great changes are preceded by chaos like they say, something outstanding is coming because I feel like I am caught in a whirlpool. The funny thing about all of this is the fact that no one made me feel this way. No one said anything to me. I made myself feel like this. I dulled my own sparkle. As I listen to some of my favorite songs trying to get over this, I will focus on tomorrow for tomorrow is a new day, and I am going to be happy.

It Really Wasn't All Bad

I just realized my last post made me sound kind of sad. My week really was not that bad. I laughed a lot. From teachers making me laugh to Kaitlyn and I doing spider on the swings like I would do with my mom or cousins when I was little to teasing some of my BYUSA friends or them teasing me, I laughed so much that I feel like if I did not eat so much I would have a six pack, and I have no more tears.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from teachers:
1. *Nervous Laughter* "He might not be lying..." (he was talking about how we may have heard his class was easy, but now he changed it to being hard so most of us would not do well)
2. Teacher: What is the first thing you do when you see a math problem on your test in the testing center?
    Me in my head: Freak out and die a little inside.
    Everyone else in the class: Write out the parts of the problem.
3. "I know what you are all thinking when you do that awkward laugh it is like, 'ahaha I hate you!' "
4. When I'm done here, Christmas... Ok I can do this!
Teachers know what we are thinking most of the time and how we feel about different things. It makes me laugh.