The Best of the Best BYU Experiences

I know everyone thinks I raced through school. I know. I've heard it. Over and over and over again. I've heard it from my mom, my dad, my aunt, my grandparents, my friends, people from my ward, people from my old ward, and people from school. I. Have. Heard. It. It makes me upset not because I think they are right but because they don't understand. I do not feel like I raced through. I feel like I went at a good speed and I happened to finish early. I am sad that it is over now, but sadness often comes with change. I, however, do not feel like I missed out on anything. Not long before graduation, I went to dinner with Dani and her husband Tyler. One of the questions Dani asked was whether or not I felt like I got the full BYU experience. I smiled and felt my eyes sparkle as I answered with a resounding yes. Yes. I feel like I got everything I wanted out of BYU, and I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to go there. Let's start at the very beginning because as we all know it's a very good place to start.

Leading Up to College

First, the year before going to BYU, I went up to Utah with my family and Kaitlyn's family. We did the BYU tour on the golf cart, and our tour guide had an English accent. So, it started well. Fast forward to the application process. So stressful. I would have been able to get into any university in Texas automatically, but we all know I did not want to go to one of those. All of the girls in my seminary class and I anxiously awaited that acceptance email. The day finally came and I was screaming at 5:00 in the morning. It had been a hard choice deciding between BYU and TCU since I got a hefty scholarship from TCU, but I feel like once my decision was made no one was going to change my mind. I went to seminary that day, and Kaitlyn and I got out of our cars, looked at each other for a minute, and we both smiled because we knew we both got in. We were going to be Cougars. I will admit I creeped on my roommates once they were assigned. I couldn't decide if I was going to like them or not. Meghan was a track star and looked fun but a little crazy. Was she going to be loud and always have weird friends over? Makenna had only just gotten a Facebook and there was nothing on it. That was a little weird to me... Emilee I seemed to like when I talked to her as I anxiously awaited the time for me to be able to sign up for my first classes. And then there was Dani. Cute, beautiful, and pictures of Europe on her Facebook. I was jealous and wondered if she was going to be amazing or one of "those girls." I was just going to have to wait and see how two Utah, two Washington, and two Texas girls were going to get along.Senior year of high school flew by along with my summer, and all of the sudden I was in the car with all of my stuff on the way to Utah. I threw everything in my room as quickly as I could and kind of introduced myself to my roommates before I had to go. My mom signed me up for Foundations of Leadership. I did not want to go. I was already nervous enough about school without having to go to a leadership conference beforehand. I went and loved it more than any HOBY conference I had been to. Not only did I love it so much, but I met Rachel there and was introduced to BYUSA. Little did I know how great an impact this would have on me, but more about that later.

Fall 2011

I got back from FOL and hiked the Y with my cousin Becca since we went up to BYU the same year. How we managed to get up there without acclimating ourselves first I will never know, but we did it! Going back to the dorm I slowly got to know the roommates better. I loved all of them! I still spent plenty of time with Kaitlyn going to football games, tracing our faces on the mirror with an expo marker, hiking and lighting the Y for homecoming, being part of the homecoming parade, going to conference at the Conference Center, doing the blue foam slip and slide down a hill at Helaman Fields which is a homecoming tradition, laughing at the plastic wrapped statues on campus when the Utah game came, and took walks in our cowboy boots, but spending time with roommies was always fun. We played spoons in the elevator, ate cookies from our FHE brothers, got candy when someone (Dani was first) went on a date, watched a crane collapse, went to devotionals (especially the one with President Monson), went to the football opening party at which I won a sweatshirt, going out to play in the snow that had the biggest flakes I had ever seen, and having sleepovers in our living room.

Winter 2012

I didn't go home for Thanksgiving, but I got to go to Washington to spend some time with my favorite aunt (don't tell the others) and her cute family which may have been the best thing I could have done. I loved going home for Christmas, but it was even harder to go back to that winter semester. I think I lived off of tortillas with butter, hot chocolate, and Jamba Juice. I am not a winter fan, but when I came back I had fun roommates to look forward to and a class by Hank Smith. Winter was filled with time with FHE brothers that included shoving 13 people into a car and having the cops show up at the park we were at, walking to the temple with Kaitlyn, planking in the elevator and down the stairs, more sleepovers, spending time with a friend from FOL and heart-attacking our peer mentor's door, roommate shirts with individual quotes from our song "Party Rock Anthem", blanket forts, room decorations, snow, snow, and more snow, and of course the festival of colors. Yes, all this time I was in classes and doing presentations for BYUSA. Those presentations are where I met one of my best friends. Eric. That boy always made me laugh. I eventually made a point to go to devotionals early so I could sit in the front row because he was on the stands. Apparently he noticed because one day he texted me and asked if I could come meet him in the office. He offered me a position on his team the coming school year. I didn't really think about it before I said yes because I loved BYUSA and he was pretty great too. My mom did take some convincing though since I would be coming back to BYU for summer. I won her over. At the end of the year we had a BYUSA retreat and a BYUSA party where I beat Eric on a blow-up obstacle course, and I was in heaven!

Spring/Summer 2012

Mom came to pick me up after winter semester, but I had to go to my first friend's wedding reception first. One down! When I came back to school for summer the fun really started. Friend dates with Eric were like once a week whether we went for crepes, J Dawgs, or frozen yogurt. I lived with Meghan this summer which was easily the best choice. We went to Seven Peaks almost every day, started a Fourth of July tradition that continued every year, and became even better friends with Janessa who had lived across the hall from us freshman year. Janessa, her roommate Leah, Dani, Meghan and I had watched "When a Stranger Calls" together during the school year. After that we slept on the living room floor falling asleep to church music because we were so scared. Anyways, Jan, Meghan and I watched scary movies all summer at Jan's house. :) That summer I also was in the Fourth of July parade and made s'mores on the belltower lights with Meghan and Mallory and Jessica from BYUSA. That summer I was also a peer mentor for FOL and had a blast with my BYUSA team every single day.

Fall 2012/ Winter 2013

Fall came around which lifted some responsibility off my shoulders since I was acting as VP in BYUSA. Eric was done with his internship and took over. I had new roommates but lived in the same building as most of my old roommies so we still did stuff together all of the time. We went to the stadium party and got pics with Van Noy and Brandon Davies. #winning. We also played in the park at night and went to the Brigham City temple open house. For football games this year I had 50 yard line seats on the front row with BYUSA. Best thing ever. Seriously. BYUSA took up most of my time, but I had fun with my roommies too. I even dressed up with them for Halloween (which I NEVER do). I spent Thanksgiving in my apartment this year with Becca. We made a delicious dinner and even had a meringue war when we were making the pie. The trees with red and yellow leaves somehow changes to bare branches with snow overnight. Christmas came and went. With the snow we made giant sculptures on the patio of our apartment. Michael came to visit and Becca and I took him to Temple Square, Hogle Zoo, and the This is the Place monument with about a foot of snow on the ground. My roommates and I also went to the Festival of Colors again this year. Why miss the chance to become a rainbow? This year of BYUSA included even more adventures such as a day at Boondocks with go-carts, bumper boats, an arcade, a batting cage, and laser tag, a luncheon in the brand new convention center, a leadership ceremony where I won the BYUSA dedication award, our final winter retreat, and multiple fun, random days, events, and activities.

Spring/Summer 2013

This was the year I also dated a boy for the first time. Andrew. It lasted for one month which makes me laugh, but it obviously just wasn't meant to be. That spring I got to see Wicked for the first time for my birthday, and I spent my last birthday taking pictures with my best boy. That summer he died which took me what felt like forever to stop crying about. Needless to say I didn't get the best grades in my classes that summer. Oh! And the first of my roommates got married. Emilee got married!!! I made some of the best friends at BYUSA, and I applied to be the VP like Eric was. I didn't get the position, but I realized why later. That summer my best friend, Eric, got married, I made my first solo road trip, spent more time with Meghan (we enhanced our 4th of July tradition by going to the fireworks and concert at Thanksgiving Point on the 3rd as well as the Stadium of Fire fireworks on the 4th), made a trip to Washington with the roommates, got to see the Manti temple pageant, fell head over heels for a boy that moved away and suddenly stopped talking to me, went to a hot air balloon festival, went to the rope swings in Mona, saw a Pioneer Day parade, went to another wedding reception, got showered in glitter on a rough day, got a job, made a new friend (Julie Anne), and did the ropes course at the Olympic park. And, at the end of the summer, I was once again a peer mentor at FOL (I loved it even more this year) and was roped into being a peer mentor for New Student Orientation. 

Fall 2013/Winter 2014

This semester I roomed with Dani, Kaitlyn, and Makenna again, and we went back to our fun shenanigans and adventures which included wedding ring shopping one night. My new job was with the Alumni Association planning events. I mostly worked with the Student Alumni. It was a lot like BYUSA, but I got paid for it and worked in the Hinckley Center! This job had its perks. I got to watch the BYU v. Texas game in the President's Loge with the First Presidency of the church and the head honchos of the school. I drove the Alpine Loop in the fall, had picnics in the park with Meghan, drove in the convertible with Kennedy to the pumpkin patch, went to football games with Dani and her boyfriend/fiance Tyler, and was Becca's companion for a day before I dropped her off at the MTC. Jan, Julie Anne, and I made a trip to Park City in a blizzard, my roommates and I saw the Catching Fire midnight premier since we had seen Hunger Games together the year before. I made a trip to Arizona where I got sick for the first time since going to college, but Ami, her family, and I still ended up going to Cali anyways (my first time!). Dani and Ty got married and I got to be a bridesmaid! I survived winter once again and saw the lights on Temple Square and drove through the Thanksgiving Point lights with the top of the car down. I went on a retreat with my Student Alumni group and got to go tubing at Soldier Hollow. I went to the hot springs, planned and attended Traditions Ball, got to see Andy Grammar in concert, met and hugged Sister Dalton, and just had fun! 

Spring/Summer 2014

All of the sudden my final terms at BYU came. James and Kaitlyn got married, and I was the Maid of Honor! I finally went to Arches National Park, I hiked the Narrows at Zion National Park, Meghan, Janessa, and I went to the actual Stadium of Fire concert where Carrie Underwood performed, I spent most of my time with friends, I made a 4.0 for spring and summer, I had an internship with the Department of Child and Family Sservices, and I had almost a week long vacation where I missed class and went to California. 

So, I had good and bad roommates, I was in love and heartbroken, I had good and bad wards, I had fun and worked hard. I was involved. I made friends. I had adventures. I went to football, basketball, and even some volleyball games. I had experiences that most students don't get to have. So, thank you to everyone who made my BYU experience a FULL BYU experience. Roommates: Kaitlyn, Dani, Emilee, Makenna, Meghan, Jenn, Alanna, Melissa, Mallory, Alexis, Maren, and Ashley, their husbands, my BYUSA team: Bryon, Angela, Kennedy, Austin, and Devon, Eric Cecil, Angela Blomquist, Amanda Nuttall, my favorite teachers: Anne Hodge, Erin Holmes, Justin Dyer, Hank Smith, and Katie Isaak, my bishopric members, the Bishop's wives, the Student Alumni team: Flint, Michael, Mady, Christina, Brett, and Brody, Curtis Isaak, Julie Hatchett, my internship mentors: Liz and Kobie, Janessa, Julie Anne, Justin, Andrew, the best visiting teachers ever: Brooke Ellis and Blythe Beecroft, Alyssa Harkness, Becca, and Aubryann McClune. Thank you for allowing me to say that I had the best of the best experiences I could have ever asked for at Brigham Young University. I am thankful that I could leave my mark at BYU, but I am even more thankful that it left its mark on me.

This is Freakin' Awesome

Finals are here. I have already taken one. All my papers are finished, I have been trained for my internship, and only four tests stand in my way of going home. You would think this is a time to complain about those four tests, but let me put a spin on things. Plot twist! This week is awesome. Yesterday was my graduation luncheon. My favorite teacher, Dr. Erin Holmes was the speaker. I absolutely adore her. Yesterday was also Unforum. The name is dumb, but it was fantastic. The theme was "Explore Your Potential." Oddly perfect for my time here at BYU. Men's chorus karaoke, Vocal Point, and one last Whoosh for Cecil made me smile from ear to ear. How much fun! President Samuelson shared a line from a poem by Wadsworth. It goes, " The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained in sudden flight but, they while their companions slept, they were toiling upwards in the night." I thought that was applicable as we head into finals week. After my final class of the semester, it really hit me. College is coming to a close... It kind of makes me sad and scared, but I am so dang excited! I went home to take my first final and then... I went to a concert. Andy Grammer. Oh my. Love. That is all. Well, maybe not all. He sang one song that has a bad word in it. He stopped singing when it came to that word and let us fill it in. We are at BYU. We of course all yelled "freakin" in unison. He thought that was so great and amazingly funny. He said, "Now wait...you all just shouted 'freakin' in unison. That was awesome!" He loved it. I loved it. After the concert we may have gone to get ice cream and french fries. Today I had mixed feelings about going into work. I was tired from being up a little too late last night, but I also hate goodbyes. A lot. I said goodbye to the officers today. One I will see over the summer in the BYUSA office, and one I will have to still work with until I leave. I hope I stay in touch with the rest of them. I love them. This was the first year of my college career to not be in BYUSA. It was weird and hard at first, but the officers made it easier. I had so much fun with them. They made my job incredible, and I enjoyed it almost as much as I did BYUSA which I didn't think to be possible. Here's to a happy finals week everyone!

Let's be real. I could post all of Andy Grammer's songs on here. Fine By Me, Forever, Keep Your Head Up, Miss Me, Crazy Beautiful, and so many more!

Sorry Not Sorry

I am sorry that so many of my posts lately have been spiritual, but really, I'm not sorry at all. You see, in this time of beauty with all of the plants that seemed so dead before starting to bloom once again, it is hard to not see the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life. Everything that was so brown and lifeless has all of the sudden sprung to life with brilliant colors. It is interesting that Heavenly Father chose this time of year for the Savior to be resurrected. He too, once dead rose with new life showing himself not only to his old friends but to the people in the Americas. It is beautiful and perfect. 

Because finals are coming, life has been hectic. I did finish my last research paper though! It felt good. I wrote my last research paper of my undergrad career! And, later that night my roommates and I went to the creamery to celebrate. They had tin roof!! Tender mercies. I have also been working my tail off trying to get everything done for the three events we had this week. By Wednesday I was bumped, bruised, and my muscles cried in pain every time I moved. Stupid final survival kits. They help everyone except me survive finals. Thursday I left class a little early to go to our ward activity. It was at the Provo Recreation Center, and I will never turn down a chance to go swimming. After two hours of going down water slides, rock climbing, swimming in the lazy river, and soaking my sore muscles in the hot tub, I slowly walked away from the pool. So much fun. So worth missing part of class for. 

Friday I made the best decision I have made in a long time. I went to the BYU Easter Conference. I didn't even know that was a thing before. The theme this year was Our Savior's Love. Before it even started, the piano player played I Know that My Redeemer Lives. Before it even started I could feel the spirit all around me. Lloyd Newell, the voice of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Music and the Spoken Word, was the first speaker of the night. The first question he asked was if we could really change, and he answered it with a resounding yes. We can change and walk in newness of life. Change comes through the Atonement of Christ. It takes us to places we could never imagine without it. The plan of salvation is our ultimate adventure in life, and in times we feel we can go no further, we must remember that our testimonies helped us conquer in heaven, and they can help us conquer now. He quoted Elder Maxwell saying, "Our perfect Father does not expect us to be perfect children yet. He had only one such child. Meanwhile, therefore, sometimes with smudges on our cheeks, dirt on our hands, and shoes untied, stammeringly but smilingly we present God with a dandelion--as if it were an orchid or a rose! If for now the dandelion is the best we have to offer, He receives it, knowing what we may later place on the altar. It is good to remember how young we are spiritually." I loved that. We all have weaknesses, but sometimes seeing our weaknesses just means we are moving closer to our Father in Heaven not farther away. The next speaker was Kelly Ogden. He taught things I had absolutely never thought of before. He said without the event of the resurrection there would be no resurrection faith. Also, Christ could have easily left the tomb on his own, but angels rolled the stone away. Why? He left his burial clothes in their place to prove no mortal man could have moved the body. Again, why? He did is so others could have a testimony that the tomb was empty, and He is risen. I had also never thought where he had been when he told Mary not to touch him because he had not ascended to his Father yet. He was preaching the gospel of his resurrection in the spirit world. He was being a missionary. Wow. In some of his final remarks, Brother Ogden said that even for Christ a crown of thorns comes before the crown of glory. Even for Christ... The final speaker was Sister Dalton. We all know how much I love her. She asked a question I ask myself all of the time. Why did the Savior go through the atonement? She was kind enough to answer it. He did it because of love. He did it so he would understand every little thing we go through. In our sparkly and spectacular world we can sometimes feel broken, but we can still feel the spirit and know He is always there to help. He says, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." In reality it is MY yoke that is easy and MY burden that is light because He is on the other side. We never walk alone. When trials come we must endure it well. We must "hold on thy way..." because "God shall be with you forever and ever." She said to take the scripture John 21:16-17 and enter our names. Megan, lovest thou me? Do you love me more than all of this? In October of 2012 Elder Holland spoke of this picking up after Christ asked this of Peter for the third time. "To which Jesus responded (and here again I acknowledge my nonscriptural elaboration), perhaps saying something like: “Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me." We cannot go back to our old lives once our testimony has changed by the gospel of Christ. Our calling is to bless lives, to try to be like Him, to be loyal to Him. He will run to us, heal us, lift us up, and help us stand once again when we are on the ground feeling broken. I hope to all those feeling broken I can be like Christ and help them stand once again. Sister Dalton talked about the song I Stand All Amazed. She also spoke of the song that had brought the spirit in to me in the beginning, I Know that My Redeemer Lives. My testimony continues to grow and change, but I will always know that my Redeemer Lives because what comfort that sweet sentence gives. 

Saturday came all of the sudden. What happened to my week? I threw my first ever bridal shower for dear Kaitlyn. It wasn't too shabby! I love her. I cannot wait for her wedding! That night I also had the Traditions Ball. Oh my. Getting all dressed up in a dress I have been saving for this special night made me happy. With my hair curled and makeup done to perfection I headed off. I am sad to say my prince charming didn't come sweep me off my feet at the ball. I stayed the working Cinderella even in my ballgown. By the end, I would have happily taken a tablecloth off of a table and slept underneath it. Being the true Cinderella I am, I would have also been happy sleeping by the fireplace. The ball was beautiful though, and it seemed to go well. I am  just thankful it is over! Let's be real here. Wearing heels for that long... Bleh. More pictures of the ball will be up in the next couple of weeks. I promise.

In this Easter season, even for those of us with work or school, I hope we never forget our Savior. When we feel inadequate, He is teaching us how to allow Him to work through us. When we are full of sorrow or feeling broken I hope we always remember there is no sorrow heaven cannot heal. I hope we always remember to choose to have faith. I know that He lives, and I consistently stand all amazed at the love and grace He always offers me.

 

#LDSconf The Blessings are Real

No Longer Afraid

By: Megan Fairchild

I have bitten my fingers until they've bled, 

and I've tossed and turned in my sleep. 

I walk with the speed of a frightened girl, 

and I have not muttered a peep. 

I've gone through work and classes, 

becoming sore and tired on the way. 

All this and my brain doesn't stop worrying, 

very much to my dismay. 

You see, I've got a knack for over-thinking, 

over-analyzing every detail. 

I just wish I could think and worry 

on a much smaller kind of scale. 

Good thing the Lord is always watching 

and waiting for me to call for His aid. 

He quickly stretches out his hand. 

Then, thankfully I am no longer afraid. 

Conference was the blessing of all blessings for me. When you watch with a prayer in your heart, it is always answered even if it is not how you would expect. You would think 8 hours (10 for the men) of talks and hymns in two days seems a little extreme, but I almost wanted more. Elder Holland taught me what it takes to be a disciple of Christ, and told us to take heart because pure Christ-like love can change the world. Elder Rasband shared D&C 84:88 which is just a beautiful scripture that is one of my favorites. Elder Anderson taught me that challenges will come, but when I put my trust in my Heavenly Father those challenges will strengthen me. President Eyring made me cry. He reminded me that through the converts in my family, I am left with a priceless heritage of hope and by holding the gospel in my hands I also hold the happiness of more people than I can imagine. I hope I can leave the example of faith and hope that he mentioned. Elder Nelson told us that faith is the antidote for fear, and it is always safe to put our faith in Christ and let it show. Elder Scott simply told me that it may seem difficult to put my faith and trust in the Lord, but I must find a way. Elder Hales taught me that I want to be one in whom the Lord is well-pleased, and I want to be called a good and faithful servant. Elder Cook gave me more motivation to do temple work. President Uchtdorf taught that we can be grateful for our circumstances no matter what they are. There are no true endings only everlasting beginnings. Elder Stevens said that the gospel is not weight but wings. God accomplishes miracles one prayer at a time, one person at a time, and prayer doesn't change God. It changes me. Elder Stevenson said that if we seek His help and follow His directions, we cannot lose. We should run the race that is set before us with patience. Elder Bednar helped me realize that the Savior really does help us bear our burdens with ease because He perfectly knows and understands each one of us and what we are going through. President Monson said that opportunities to show our love may come unexpectedly, but if we act on them the recipient may remember them for a lifetime. President Packer reminded us to build our foundation on Christ, while Elder Walker told us we are standing on the shoulders of giants (those brave saints who have come before us). Elder Crowbridge taught that the heavens are not closed and we still have revelations given to us. Elder Teh told us that faith in Jesus Christ gives us hope that everything will work out eventually, and Elder Aidukaitis said that faith requires work. President Monson closed this conference by saying that Heavenly Father will come close to us, and He will go far to help us. He loves us. No matter if you are a member or not, I invite you to read or watch at least some of the conference talks. Pick one that sounds interesting. Come with one question, or a few. I know it will be answered. I am so thankful to have a prophet and apostles on the earth today, and I am thankful for all of the words that were shared this weekend. Because I am no longer afraid.

Whoosh, Cecil!

There is a level of admiration, dedication, and respect that goes along with being at BYU that cannot be matched. Today in devotional we had two General Authorities come to speak to us. The first, spoke lovingly about his days at BYU, the importance of his wife to him and the eternal love he had for her, and the power of the Holy Ghost in our lives. That was a beautiful talk, and I almost wished it could have gone on longer. When he sat down, President Eyring stood at the podium. With a smile, he stood and spoke of the service that President Cecil Samuelson and his wife have given for eleven years. We all knew what was coming. Quickly looking at Sister Samuelson, I saw tears welling in her eyes, and they quickly came to mine. As President Eyring released President Samuelson from duty, it was all I could do to keep the tears from dropping into my lap. President and Sister Samuelson have done an amazing job, and I am proud to say I was at BYU during their service. As President Eyring finished what he had to say (calling a new president) and sat down, the Marriott Center was completely silent. There was not a cough or a sniffle. Even the typing of reporters had stopped. The closing prayer was said, and BYU students amazed me once again. Everyone stood and with a reverence that, as I have said before, could only be witnessed at BYU gave President and Sister Samuelson a standing ovation. President Samuelson who had stayed stone-faced thus far gave in and the tears came to him as well, so I don't feel as bad about my tears. I will never forget that moment. The moment that you think would take away the spirit from the room but only expounded upon it. The moment when nothing and everything changed for BYU. I will always love, respect, and admire the Samuelsons. I am so thankful for them. I know President Worthen will do an outstanding job as well, but I am glad I could be here when the Samuelsons were. So, President and Sister Samuelson, Cecil and Sharon, thank you. Thank you for upholding the standards of this university that I love so much. Thank you for dedicating your lives to it even though you were University of Utah graduates. Thank you for looking out for the students here. Thank you for watching out for me. Thank you for the devotionals, luncheons, tickets to the President’s Box for the Texas game, and of course for letting us yell, “Whoosh, Cecil!!” at the basketball game with the players made a free throw. Thank you for all you did, and thank you for being you.

A Season for Courage

This week has been an odd one. I went in to it full of excitement. It did not take long on Monday (I woke up in a bad mood and stayed that way all day) for me to lose that excitement. By the end of work on Monday, I was tired and ready for it to be Friday once again. Honestly, the only bright moment of my day was when I got to text my little brother through all of my classes and my study group. Yes, I taught him how to make a Homecoming mum through text. At the end he said, "I'm so glad I have a nice sister!" It was a simple statement, but it made me smile. I am genuinely thankful that I get to be his big sister. He drives me insane sometimes, but who else would be my buddy/partner in crime all of the time? It is a blessing for me to have him in my life. Getting to help him pick what he wore today made me smile once again remembering how I help him choose his first day of school outfit every year. It also made me think of all of those shopping trips we force him to go on, but when we get home he is more excited about all of his new clothes than I am about mine (and trust me, I get excited). Okay, there was one other bright moment. My roommates and I had a little too much fun before FHE. What you see is all you get. No questions. 

 Tuesday, Flint (thank heavens I get to work with him. He makes my days brighter) noticed that I was not my usual self. I was burdened by all I had to do this week with three luncheons, a twelve hour day at work on Tuesday, Noondays, Hike and Light the Y, and a meeting on top of school, hope for a social life, and maybe even some sleep. He just hugged me and told me to listen to this talk: Of Things that Matter Most. My grandma tells me to not run faster than I have strength in every letter. I had never notice that until I heard it in my talk and connected it with each time she has told me. I write down all of the advice in her letters... except this one bit. I think this is one of the most important pieces of advice she has given me. I ran too fast, and I got burnt out before I really even started. This talk really helped me feel better. After our luncheon on Tuesday, I changed from my skirt to jeans and then drove a twelve passenger van up and down a mountain for the rest of the night. It was Hike and Light the Y. I was very stressed and uncomfortable at first, but by the end of the night I was driving like a pro. The Y was lit without any problems, and I got to spend some time with Christina. 

 Wednesday was an average day, but I felt so much better. My hair was curled and loosely pulled into a side ponytail, and I was wearing a seersucker skirt, navy button down shirt, sunshine yellow sweater, and even heels. I was put back together again. Today my dad sent me the sweetest text. He always makes me feel like I am the most special girl out there. I was dressed up once again (I love dressing up, but I am so glad I get to wear pants tomorrow) to go to another luncheon. The food wasn't quite as good, but I still enjoyed it and had fun. I had a medium rare steak for the first time. I like my steaks well done. It actually wasn't bad, and I would have eaten all of it if I had something other than a butter knife to cut it with. I still prefer my steaks cooked more, but I will eat them if they have some pink (or red) now. In these two luncheons, I have successfully impressed President Samuelson and Vice President Scharman, and I got them and Sister Samuelson to laugh. Oh my. It makes me so happy. I love all three of them. Also, I got free tickets to BYU Homecoming Spectacular! I have gone every year so far, and was afraid I would miss it this year like I missed the true blue foam. But, I have a wonderful job that has some perks. So, with Jan as my date I headed off to the Marriott tonight. I think this year was better than freshman year when Brian Stokes Mitchell was the guest. Nathan Pacheco with his perfectly fitting navy suit with silk black trim on the collar, skinny black silk tie, and beautiful voice made the everything else fade away. The first song he sang was this:

I had never heard all of the lyrics of this song before, but it is truly beautiful. Nathan Pacheco then told a personal story about when he was on a study abroad in Italy. He wondered how he could make singing a career. While there, he watched a CES devotional. If you want to read the whole talk click here. He said his favorite part was when Elder Holland says, "God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future—to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities. God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe." I loved this just as much as he did. It is beautiful. Other performers did their thing from singing to tap dancing, and there were inspirational stories of BYU students some of which made me cry but all of which warmed my heart. These were all wonderful, but my favorite parts were when Nathan Pacheco performed. He did his song "Tears from Heaven" which is my favorite song from his album. Tears from heaven wash me over. Give me shelter from the storm. Daylight is gone, but still I can see somewhere there's a place to keep me warm. Drifting in silence, hear my heart beat, breathing this feeling that I know. If danger and trouble come around me, somewhere there's a place to call my home. Watch over me and I will find my way back home. If in solitude I wander, far away from those I love. If my faith is torn asunder, light my way back through the stars above. Tears from heaven wash me over. Give me shelter from this storm. Daylight is gone, but still I can see light shining bright to guide me home. Watch over me and I will find the way back home. This song was sung after a story was told about two BYU students that got engaged and then hopped in the car with the guy's younger sister and started a long drive back home to tell their parents. It got late and all of them fell asleep. Yep, all of them including the guy who was driving. He woke up to his sister screaming and they were headed straight for a pile of dirt. A bad car wreck ensued. His neck was broken, and his little sister was killed. He had to learn to walk again and had to let go of the guilt he felt before starting his life over and marrying his now wife. It was perfect. Then, Nathan Pacheco got a little choked up telling about how much he loved BYU and getting to come back. To finish the program he sang "Don't Cry" which is another one of my favorites.

I loved getting to go tonight, and being able to go with Janessa made it even better. This was what I needed. I needed the Spirit, the tradition, the honor, the hope, the courage, the joy, the strength, the beauty, the happiness, the energy, and everything else that comes with being here at BYU that I sometimes forget when I get caught up in everything going on. Like President Uchtdorf said, "If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most." 

Oh! And with the help of our amazing mom, my little brother had a beautiful mum to give his "date." He is one good looking kid! Also, I want to point out that I started a trend. Everyone made fun of me in high school when I hung the mum from my neck. Turns out everyone does it now. For the win.

I Went from Zero to My Own Hero

I had the opportunity this Friday to go and do temple work for my great-great grandma. I go to the temple every week. What made this so special? Well, she is my relative, and not only that but I was born exactly one hundred years after her. That is pretty dang exciting. I almost didn't go to the temple after another long work and school week. Friday alone I had to go take rent, take a test, and then had to go to work and frantically prepare for Homecoming. As always, I am so thankful I went. This was truly a beautiful experience for me. 

After I went to the temple I wanted to go and celebrate Kennedy's birthday. When you get thirteen very different girls (Kennedy has the widest array of friends I have ever seen) together, you go to a Thai restaurant. I was really nervous, but I got to try a little of everything. Thai food is really good if you know what to get. I got Massaman curry which is a sweet and a little spicy curry with chicken, potatoes, carrots, and cashews. It looks like a stew and you eat it over rice. The more I ate the more I liked it. First Thai food experience was a success, and I came home beyond full. 

Now cue conference weekend. I really tried to pay attention to the speakers today, and I got a few tidbits of wisdom, but I kept thinking about one experience that I have had. So, a little over halfway through summer I got called in for a job interview. When I hung up, I was overwhelmed with the Spirit and just cried. I knew this interview was an answer to prayers. Everything was going to be okay. I went to the interview full of confidence, but the next day I got the call telling me that I did not get the job. I didn't understand and was deeply hurt by this news. A week later, Linda (the one who interviewed me) emailed and asked if she could pass on my resume. I told her she could, but I had little hope. I got called in, but was still not confident in getting the job. I had been let down so many times. After the interview I walked home with my head held low. Later that day, I halfheartedly answered the phone when Curtis called me. He told me I got the job. Then I realized that the first interview was an answer to prayers, just not the way I thought it would be. Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways, and sometimes I get upset because I do not understand or fully see the steps in His process. In this instance I was shortsighted and prideful. That is why I was so hurt and felt like all hope was lost after I did not get the job I was sure would be the answer to prayers. I had to be humbled before blessings could be granted. In one of the talks today (sorry, I can't remember which one) the speaker said, faith should always be pointed toward the future. I am going to try that. Because, as the same speaker said, significant but subtle blessings can easily be overlooked. 

Yesterday was also really hard for me. A dear friend, Donna Lear, returned to live with Heavenly Father. Sister Lear was always there to welcome you with a warm smile and happy, bright eyes. I grew up with her living right up the street. She was always the first one to respond when there was a need for service. I will truly miss her and her friendship not only for me, but my mom and all of the others she shared her warm heart with. I went into the temple fighting back tears and asking myself why. It was while I was there that I realized although it is sad and these wonderful women will be missed, Sister Lear and Sister Monzingo are now with Heavenly Father sharing their beauty and amazing personalities and strength with those in heaven. Today President Uchtdorf said the acorn of inquiry has often sprouted and grown into a great oak of understanding and knowledge. My simple acorn of why has at least sprouted. I am thankful for the knowledge the gospel gives me.

And just a little side note, President Monson waving a little boy over so he could lean over the stand to hold his hand absolutely made my day. That is the highlight of my conference weekend. He leads by example. Christ said, "Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not: for such is the kingdom of God." (Mark 10:14)

I Tried Carrying the Weight of the World, but I Only Have Two Hands

Work, class, devotional, class, work, homework. Yep. My day was full. Funny thing though. Somewhere along the line of the time I have been in college with my crazy schedule I made some friends.

I got a letter from a sister missionary. I love and miss her. Getting to write my two girls, Aubryann and Alyssa, makes my day each and every time. They were beautiful inside and out before they left, but now I can feel the glow of Christ radiate from each word they write. Then, while trying to decide whether or not to get ahead on my homework, my friend Christina showed up with dinner. I ate cheddar broccoli soup in a bread bowl tonight. About halfway through I thought to myself, "This is heaven." Then I looked and realized what I was eating. Broccoli. Who would have thought?!? I had a friend make me dinner. Tomorrow I get to take a break from homework and I am spending some time with Janessa when I get off work. In class yesterday, one of my teachers used one of my answers on an assignment in her powerpoint. Someone asked where it was from and she told them it was from my paper. I now have a study group for the test in that class. At work I was invited to go to a scary movie night on Friday. Saturday I get to go and celebrate Kennedy's birthday. Sunday I get to drive up in the canyon to see the beautiful fall colors. And... Last but not least, Dani asked me to be a bridesmaid. Wait. I have friends?

Devotional today was about going out and getting involved on campus. I did something right freshman year. I got involved in BYUSA and did a couple of things with Student Alumni. Sophomore year I had BYUSA all day every day. This year I have Student Alumni, SFLSA, and Y-Serve. I have friends from all of them, and I am so thankful for that. The speaker, Brother Cox, said if we don't extend our hand out to others, there will be no one to miss us when we're gone. I am thankful to know I would be missed. The most powerful memories of college come from incidents and experiences outside of classes. He also referenced President Monson's talk that he gave at BYU in 2007. I loved a quote from this talk, and I did not even know where it came from. I am so thankful for the experiences I have had in my journey through BYU. The fun, the hard laughs, the late nights, the amazing friends, the heartaches, the adventures, and even the trials. Odysseus said, "And if a god will wreck me yet again on the wine dark sea, I can bear that too, with a spirit tempered to endure. Much have I suffered, labored long and hard by now in the waves and wars. Add this to the total--bring the trial on!" This just reminded me of the poem Invictus which made me smile.

A little old lady came to speak in one of my classes yesterday. As the bell was ringing she began a story. No one got up to leave. She said to compare yourself to a carrot, an egg, or hot chocolate. When you put each one in boiling water, they all go through the same adversity, but they each have different outcomes. The carrot goes in strong but comes out softened and easily hurt. The egg goes in fragile but comes out hardened by the trial. The hot chocolate on the other hand, changes the very state of the water making something new and delicious. She asked us, "Which one are you?" I sure hope I'm the hot chocolate! First off, we all know it's the best one, but most importantly, I want to be able to come out stronger and better after trials. 

This little old lady also taught me a valuable lesson. Her husband died in his sixties after she watched him literally lose his mind to Alzheimer's throughout nine years. After he died, she decided to make the most of her life. She has a doughnut for breakfast every morning. One day she went to the doctor because she wasn't feeling well. He told her she needed to start eating better. She needed more colors on her plate. So, when she got home she poured a bowl of M&Ms and enjoyed. She said she did feel better after that. She passed out M&Ms, and I enjoyed life all throughout the day. 

So, after only a couple of days I feel like I have been through a journey. I have learned so much, and I am going to follow Boyd K. Packer's advice and never make the same mistake once. I am going to stay close to my friends. They mean the world to me. Cheers to my crazy beautiful life. Never forget my dear friends, that happiness isn't smiling but believing. 

More FOL Pics

I know you are probably tired of FOL, but I miss it. So, here are a few more pictures from the conference. 

Green Megz and Ham

Every year I am so scared to go to FOL. Last year I was afraid I would not measure up to the expectations I was putting on myself for what a peer mentor should be. This year I knew I would miss Eric, and I was afraid of what was going to happen between Andrew and me. Those were some of the reasons, but the real reason is because it is so far out of my comfort zone. You spend three days in charge of a group of freshmen teaching lessons, dancing, going crazy, singing, and putting your whole self out there. Funny thing though, every year I end up going, and I end up loving it, come home on a spiritual high, and feel like I can conquer the world.

This year I taught four lessons. The first one was on a talk by Sister Dew called You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born for Glory. Sister Dew talks about how we are here right now because we were elected to be. We are here to run the last leg of the relay because our "pre-mortal spiritual valor indicated [we] would have the courage and the determination to face the world at its worst, to do combat with the evil one during his heyday, and, in spite of it all, to be fearless in building the kingdom of God."She talked about how there would be days when we are beat up by life's whiplash, people will disappoint us, and we will disappoint others, and the veil between us and heaven will feel reinforced by concrete.President Hinckley once said, "The responsibility I carry frightens me... Sometimes I could weep with concern. But there comes the assurance that the Lord put me here for His purpose, and if I will be humble and seek the direction of the Holy Spirit, He will use me... to accomplish His purposes." We may feel inadequate and like everything is working against us, but we aren't running alone. We can do all things through Christ because we were born to lead. We were born for glory. There is no limit to what the Lord will teach and give us. We must choose how much power we want to have and what we are willing to do to obtain it. Our Heavenly Father is always there for us. We just have the task of understanding what he has to say. But, as she said earlier in her talk, challenges that tax our faith are usually opportunities to stretch and strengthen our faith by finding out if we really believe the the Lord will help us. Sister Dew asks, "Do you know what we believe? Do you know there is power in the doctrine of Christ to change and overcome weakness? Do you realize that the scriptures contain the answer to every life dilemma?" My answer to all of those is YES! I was born to lead. I was born for glory!!!

The next talk I taught a lesson on was by President Eyring called Education in Real Life. I was taught by this talk to never let my knees hit the ground before my feet. Sometimes I pray for things to happen before I try and make them happen. That is not how it is supposed to work. I just want everything to work out perfectly all of the time, and I feel lost and confused when they don't. Good thing the Lord knows what he needs me to do and what I will need to know. He is kind and all-knowing meaning I can expect that He has prepared opportunities for me to learn in preparation for the service I will give. I also learned through this talk that our education must never stop. We must never put secular learning before spiritual learning because when we put God's purposes first, He will give us miracles. President Eyring closes his talk by saying. "I cannot promise academic success... Nor can I tell you the way in which He will honor His promise of adding blessings upon you. But I can promise you that if you will go to Him in prayer and ask what He would have you do next, promising that you will put His kingdom first, He will answer your prayer and He will keep His promise to add upon your head blessings, enough and to spare. Those apparent prison walls of not enough time will begin to recede, even as you are called to do more." This was perfect for me since school starts in FIVE DAYS!

The next lesson was on a talk by Elder Holland called Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence. He talks about how before great moments, especially spiritual ones, there can be adversity, opposition, and darkness. He reminds us to not forget that it isn't over until it is over. All too often we have spiritual breakthroughs and then let our guard down and are overcome with trials we were not ready for. Satan will always come again, but he will always be defeated by the God of Glory. When we sign on for a moment of eternal significance it will be a fight, a good winning fight, but a fight. He says that in these instances, fear almost always plays a destructive, sometimes paralyzing role. Adversity can also be worry and fear, and only faith, hope, and charity can help overcome it. (Good thing I chose to go to FOL, right?!) He shared the story of the people crossing the Red Sea. Their faith was tested as they fought through self-doubts and second thoughts just as ours is today. They were seemingly free and on their way to the promised land until they saw the water in front of them. They could have panicked and given up. But as D&C 103:20 says, "Mine angels shall go up before you, and also my presence, and in time ye shall possess the goodly land." He says this goodly land applies to us as well. It is our promised land, Jerusalem, our own acre flowing with milk and honey, our future, our dreams, our destiny. "Cast not therefore away your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise (Hebrews 10:35-36)."

The last talk I will bore you with (I'm sorry. I just really enjoyed them!) was The Challenge to Become by Elder Oaks. He tells the parable of a wealthy father telling his son who had not yet developed the needed wisdom and stature to use his inheritance wisely that he could give what he had to his son, but what he was had to be obtained for himself. He would have to do this by living the way his father had, following his example, mastering what he had mastered, and becoming what he was. He compared this to us becoming like our Heavenly Father and being truly converted by the gospel. We must never stop striving because we are children of God, and it is possible for us to become what He would have us become. I learned that charity is something we become. It is a state of being. I know that is part of being a child of God. I need to work on that.

Now, FOL wasn't all lessons I taught. Tuesday, we followed the BYU tradition of having a devotional. A couple spoke, and asked the simple question, How will you lead? The sign outside of campus says, "Enter to Learn Go Forth to Serve." How will I lead? Will I be like the gold prospector who wanted a chunk of gold so discarded the small flakes that could have accumulated over time, or will I be like the three eighteen year old boys who carried the pioneers across the freezing Sweetwater River? Those that came before me did many great things giving me a noble birthright. I will lead with a legacy with small and simple acts of service that will lead to lifelong devotion, peace, and joy.

If you haven't stopped reading by now, I will get to the fun stuff. I had three boys in my group. Two crushed on me, and one crushed on me hardcore. He told me I was his COW or crush of the week. In reality, I was his COTD or crush of three days. Sorry friend, but you are a little young for me. This is the first year that I can say that! One of my participants from last year was a peer mentor this year and he teased me the whole time about being seventeen and so on... What a bum. Anyways, I'm still searching for #MrRight.

When going through the games and low ropes course, we did something called a trust fall. They wanted me to do it because I was the peer mentor. I couldn't let my fear stop me since I just taught a lesson on that, so I did it. You stand on something where your feet are level with everyone else's heads. They stand a certain way to catch you. The guy who worked at Aspen Grove was trying to teach me how to hold my arms, and they ended up just being a tangled mess. Dang my monkey arms. He looked at me and said, "Girl, you've got issues." He then looked at my group and said, "You guys follow this girl?!" Yep they do, and yep I have issues! Don't judge me. We ended Monday with the dance in which I was on passion patrol, I danced a little, and Mark (my co-peer mentor) walked around wearing a fish head.

Tuesday started off weird. We had waffles for breakfast. I'm not a huge fan. I don't mind the taste or texture. I hate the pattern. I don't know why. My day went on and got better even though it rained all day and my lion hair appeared. After a fun day and the musical program which was a little rough this year, we did the night adventure. We changed it this year since it was raining. We were inside and put our participants in a circle blindfolded and holding hands. We connected it to one of the lessons and said they were facing the Red Sea and being chased by the pharaoh's army. They could cross or let fear get the best of them and give up, but we asked if they were motivated to cross by fear of the army or faith in the Lord. We separated them and told them they let their fears get the best of them and now they were alone because everyone else had crossed. Mark and I sang I Am a Child of God, and after a minute or two we had them hold hands again and told them they were never alone. Christ had always been with them, and because of their faith the Red Sea had been opened again so they could cross. We took off their blindfolds and sat down. Every one of my chitlens bore their testimony. In thinking about my testimony, I thought of the Atonement. Christ would have gone through it if I were the only person on the earth. I thought about that more. That would mean I would have had to be the one to crucify him. My Savior would have forgiven me and suffered just for me. That amazed me.  There were some tears, and I could feel the Spirit like never before. I honestly felt like angles were sitting all around us.

Wednesday we got to break wood boards by karate chopping them. I love doing that. We write our goals for the year on one side and the fears that could keep us from accomplishing them on the other. Then, we face our fears and break through them. So much fun. After that, Vice President Scharman spoke at the closing session. She was super sassy. I have never seen her like that. At one point she said, "Haha I was right! Again..." She was cracking me up! She spoke about how our brain doesn't process don'ts. When we tell ourselves to not do something we practice it in our minds until we are really good at it, and then it happens. Like when we tell ourselves not to trip and we think of all the ways we could possibly trip, and then we end up tripping. She told us to focus on our strengths and what we know and to go from there. I thought that was a perfect end to the conference, but dancing and singing on the bus ride home was the best! I am so thankful I went. I feel better and stronger than I did before. I faced my fears, and it was totally worth it. I loved getting to see and talk to Angela, already miss my group, and cannot wait to see what I can do this year to apply some of what I learned!