Sorry Not Sorry

I am sorry that so many of my posts lately have been spiritual, but really, I'm not sorry at all. You see, in this time of beauty with all of the plants that seemed so dead before starting to bloom once again, it is hard to not see the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life. Everything that was so brown and lifeless has all of the sudden sprung to life with brilliant colors. It is interesting that Heavenly Father chose this time of year for the Savior to be resurrected. He too, once dead rose with new life showing himself not only to his old friends but to the people in the Americas. It is beautiful and perfect. 

Because finals are coming, life has been hectic. I did finish my last research paper though! It felt good. I wrote my last research paper of my undergrad career! And, later that night my roommates and I went to the creamery to celebrate. They had tin roof!! Tender mercies. I have also been working my tail off trying to get everything done for the three events we had this week. By Wednesday I was bumped, bruised, and my muscles cried in pain every time I moved. Stupid final survival kits. They help everyone except me survive finals. Thursday I left class a little early to go to our ward activity. It was at the Provo Recreation Center, and I will never turn down a chance to go swimming. After two hours of going down water slides, rock climbing, swimming in the lazy river, and soaking my sore muscles in the hot tub, I slowly walked away from the pool. So much fun. So worth missing part of class for. 

Friday I made the best decision I have made in a long time. I went to the BYU Easter Conference. I didn't even know that was a thing before. The theme this year was Our Savior's Love. Before it even started, the piano player played I Know that My Redeemer Lives. Before it even started I could feel the spirit all around me. Lloyd Newell, the voice of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Music and the Spoken Word, was the first speaker of the night. The first question he asked was if we could really change, and he answered it with a resounding yes. We can change and walk in newness of life. Change comes through the Atonement of Christ. It takes us to places we could never imagine without it. The plan of salvation is our ultimate adventure in life, and in times we feel we can go no further, we must remember that our testimonies helped us conquer in heaven, and they can help us conquer now. He quoted Elder Maxwell saying, "Our perfect Father does not expect us to be perfect children yet. He had only one such child. Meanwhile, therefore, sometimes with smudges on our cheeks, dirt on our hands, and shoes untied, stammeringly but smilingly we present God with a dandelion--as if it were an orchid or a rose! If for now the dandelion is the best we have to offer, He receives it, knowing what we may later place on the altar. It is good to remember how young we are spiritually." I loved that. We all have weaknesses, but sometimes seeing our weaknesses just means we are moving closer to our Father in Heaven not farther away. The next speaker was Kelly Ogden. He taught things I had absolutely never thought of before. He said without the event of the resurrection there would be no resurrection faith. Also, Christ could have easily left the tomb on his own, but angels rolled the stone away. Why? He left his burial clothes in their place to prove no mortal man could have moved the body. Again, why? He did is so others could have a testimony that the tomb was empty, and He is risen. I had also never thought where he had been when he told Mary not to touch him because he had not ascended to his Father yet. He was preaching the gospel of his resurrection in the spirit world. He was being a missionary. Wow. In some of his final remarks, Brother Ogden said that even for Christ a crown of thorns comes before the crown of glory. Even for Christ... The final speaker was Sister Dalton. We all know how much I love her. She asked a question I ask myself all of the time. Why did the Savior go through the atonement? She was kind enough to answer it. He did it because of love. He did it so he would understand every little thing we go through. In our sparkly and spectacular world we can sometimes feel broken, but we can still feel the spirit and know He is always there to help. He says, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." In reality it is MY yoke that is easy and MY burden that is light because He is on the other side. We never walk alone. When trials come we must endure it well. We must "hold on thy way..." because "God shall be with you forever and ever." She said to take the scripture John 21:16-17 and enter our names. Megan, lovest thou me? Do you love me more than all of this? In October of 2012 Elder Holland spoke of this picking up after Christ asked this of Peter for the third time. "To which Jesus responded (and here again I acknowledge my nonscriptural elaboration), perhaps saying something like: “Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me." We cannot go back to our old lives once our testimony has changed by the gospel of Christ. Our calling is to bless lives, to try to be like Him, to be loyal to Him. He will run to us, heal us, lift us up, and help us stand once again when we are on the ground feeling broken. I hope to all those feeling broken I can be like Christ and help them stand once again. Sister Dalton talked about the song I Stand All Amazed. She also spoke of the song that had brought the spirit in to me in the beginning, I Know that My Redeemer Lives. My testimony continues to grow and change, but I will always know that my Redeemer Lives because what comfort that sweet sentence gives. 

Saturday came all of the sudden. What happened to my week? I threw my first ever bridal shower for dear Kaitlyn. It wasn't too shabby! I love her. I cannot wait for her wedding! That night I also had the Traditions Ball. Oh my. Getting all dressed up in a dress I have been saving for this special night made me happy. With my hair curled and makeup done to perfection I headed off. I am sad to say my prince charming didn't come sweep me off my feet at the ball. I stayed the working Cinderella even in my ballgown. By the end, I would have happily taken a tablecloth off of a table and slept underneath it. Being the true Cinderella I am, I would have also been happy sleeping by the fireplace. The ball was beautiful though, and it seemed to go well. I am  just thankful it is over! Let's be real here. Wearing heels for that long... Bleh. More pictures of the ball will be up in the next couple of weeks. I promise.

In this Easter season, even for those of us with work or school, I hope we never forget our Savior. When we feel inadequate, He is teaching us how to allow Him to work through us. When we are full of sorrow or feeling broken I hope we always remember there is no sorrow heaven cannot heal. I hope we always remember to choose to have faith. I know that He lives, and I consistently stand all amazed at the love and grace He always offers me.