Child Life

A lot of people have been asking what my seasonal job really was. Here are some pictures that sum it up:

 See all those toys? I stacked each and every one. So yeah, that was fun. Now I have a job there as a child life assistant. I love it so far! 

  I love how it is completely acceptable to bring a sack lunch and how I get to see the sunrise and sunset each day. 

 Also, I love that I get to play with kids. Haters gonna hate when they give me the "you get paid for that?" or the "that isn't a real job" looks, but I just shake it off because I see no better way of spending my time than helping kids of all ages cope when they are in the hospital. 

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel so lost and confused like I will never really belong or fit in anywhere.
Sometimes I think I will never be able to get the job I want.
Sometimes I feel like I am going to explode from holding it all inside.
Sometimes I wonder if things will ever go the way I plan.
And sometimes I question if there even is a plan for me.
But...
Sometimes I remember I am a daughter of God.
Sometimes I get this feeling that everything is going to be okay.
Sometimes I just have to let it all out.
Sometimes I realize His plan is better than my dreams.
And sometimes I just have to look up and smile.

As Promised

Top 2014 Highlights:

1. Movie nights with Julie Anne.
2. Tubing at Soldier Hollow. 
3. Hot Springs. 
4. Going to the last home basketball game with Meghan. 
5. Traditions Ball. 
6. Trying Thai food.
7. Andy Grammar concert. 
8. BYU Easter Conference.
9. Internship at DCFS.
10. Meeting/Hugging Sister Dalton.
11. Going to the temple more than 10 weeks in a row with Meghan. 
12. So You Think You Can Dance and numerous other adventures with Jan. 
13. 5K with my mom while wearing a "I Pooped Today" shirt. 
14. Kaitlyn got married!
15. I turned 20 and got pictures in the bluebonnets. 
16. Hiking the Utah arches. 
17. Seeing Cinderella at the outdoor theater with Dani. 
18. Hiking the Narrows and camping with Julie Anne. 
19. Carrie Underwood concert and fireworks for the 4th of July.
20. So many Seven Peaks days with Meghan. 
21. California. Need I say more? 
22. Getting to be there when President and Sister Samuelson got released.
23. Bike ride during a thunderstorm with Jan.
24. Kayaking and paddleboarding in a duck pond with Jan and the stake. 
25. Graduation. 2014!!!
26. Vivien Leigh. 
27. Texas State Fair.
28. Time Out for Women. 
29. My high school homecoming game.
30. My job at Children's Medical Center. 

Highlight of 2015: Someone said I could be in the show "Downton Abbey." My year has already been made!

Let's Play Catch Up

I am sorry for the lack of posts. You see, I just haven't known what to write. Every time I started a post it just didn't seem right. Now I think I know what all to say.

Christmas Eve went well at work. We went around with Santa and passed out blankets, coloring books, pillows, and all kinds of Christmas-y things to the kids making each one of them smile (especially the girl who got a giant stuffed Elsa (good call on my part)). I heard Christmas did not go as smoothly as we would have liked, but that wasn't our fault. I will say I am now thankful for things I have never been thankful for before. Things such as my monkey arms, flatbeds, and doorstops now have a special place in my heart while I am pretty sure other things such as hotwheels, cootie games, and walk with me dolls have a special place in hell. I am finished organizing everything. Everything has a place. Now I get to do things like making sure units have toys for kids, going through the playroom, and shadowing the Child Life Specialists. Yay!

Over the Christmas holiday a neighbor, friend, and church member passed away after having her fourth baby. This was so hard for me because over Christmas I was working so hard to make kids happy in the hospital. Seeing how important Christmas was to them made the sadness creep through me for the kids she left behind. How would their Christmas be? No Christmas should be full of sadness and mourning. When another soul goes to heaven there's so much to think about like what will happen to the spouse and the children they left behind. A lot of people say it was their time or Heavenly Father needed them in heaven. I have a hard time with that. Heavenly Father hates to see us hurt. I can't imagine Him planning things that way. There is no way of knowing for sure, but I think it is part of being on earth.  I'm extremely thankful to have my family for eternity because that is what the plan's all about.

So with a somewhat heavy heart a new appreciation for our Heavenly Father's plan Christmas came. I got two days off work, I got to spend time with my family, I got to eat as much as I wanted without feeling guilty, I got to finally wear my college class ring, I got to see my family open their presents, and I got to watch movie after movie. This is what dreams are made of. Also, Mom and I almost finished reading all of the Christmas books. Almost. Looking back now on our Christmas I realize that our tree is never perfect. Our ornaments don't match. We are all busy shopping and making sure all the presents are wrapped. We sometimes get busy in things that don't matter and worry about the minute things, but when you take a step back from all of the chaos there is true beauty and magic in the season.

One night we had the missionaries over for dinner for the first time in forever. I made that heavenly Cafe Rio pulled pork. The next day I made twice baked potatoes because Ryan had been asking for them. It makes me smile when I make things my family enjoys.

I gave a talk. It used to be that I could only say yes to giving a talk when one person asked me. Now, part of being an adult is saying yes to everyone. I might need to rethink my goal of becoming Sister Dalton. Speaking at BYU in front of peers is one thing. Speaking in front of a ward full of people much older and wiser than you makes me so nervous. Really I was fine until I choked on the sacrament bread. Then the panic set in. But, I still made people laugh and wore my sunshine yellow jacket, so it wasn't a complete failure after all.

Mom and I went to the Dallas Arboretum for the 12 days of Christmas display. It was beautiful, and I loved every minute of it. I loved the lights and seeing how they interpreted each day. Also, the night was pretty cold, and it reminded me of Thanksgiving Point there. It was just a fun night.

Now it is a new year. I tried to think of goals that I could actually accomplish this year. I think I found a few. 1. Exist to be happy not to impress. 2. Stop analying the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how I feel, stop deciding exactly what I want, and just see what happens. 3. Know that I am kind, smart, strong, beautiful, important, fearless, and amazing. 4. Go on more adventures. 5. Be around good energy. 6.Connect with people. 7. Learn new things. 8. Grow. I think those are good goals. Bring it on, 2015.

This weekend I will work on my 2014 highlights. Get ready everyone!

Just Some Christmastime Pics

No More Counting Dollars, I'll Be Counting Stars

You know when Christmas comes around and all of the sudden you are faced with an even greater demand of your time? You have to find out what people want, buy presents, follow traditions, decorate, buy a tree, find time to listen to Christmas music, bake, and so many other “Christmas-y” things. I got caught up in all of the hustle and bustle before December even began. You see, I wanted to get everything done before I started my job. I bought all of the presents for my family and had them wrapped before December 1^st. I had it down. The 1^st is when work began. On the first day of work my boss gave to me the longest day of orientation you ever did see. Sad thing is that this song isn’t quite as fun as the original because the second day was the same thing. After two days of orientation I actually started work. Thursday I felt like I spent all morning in traffic. I was thinking how a lot of my paycheck was going to go to tolls and gas. I got to work, and I did not know what to do. To be honest, I barely made it to my office. I was shown so many rooms all over the hospital the day before, and it was a little overwhelming for me. Worst of all, I had to stay late on my second day of work. Can you tell I had completely forgotten the spirit and meaning of Christmas? That night was the hospital’s tree lighting. That was exciting, but before the lighting, I got to go around the hospital with Santa Claus and pass out presents to the patients. At four we started, and the realization that I was focusing on all of the wrong things hit me. Seeing the stars in the kids’ eyes, seeing them be so genuinely happy no matter how sick they were, seeing them be so thankful for even the smallest presents, hearing a mom say, “This is the best hospital ever!” and give us all hugs as tears filled her eyes, and being able to be a part of this made my heart grow three sizes. After going around with Santa, we had the tree lighting and then we had him come out and kids could come and sit on his knee. Kids from all over came to see him. Most of them gave him a hug afterwards and said thank you multiple times. I loved the smiles that came to their faces (except those that took one look at him and burst out crying). After they saw Santa they each got a stuffed animal. I got to be an elf and pass them out. Once again I saw the stars. Even the kids that were crying smiled and hugged tight to those stuffed animals. The stars in those kiddos’ eyes were so bright it was like seeing the Christmas star in person. That is what Christmas is all about. It isn’t about the presents, Santa Claus, or shopping. Christmas is about remembering the most wonderful gift our Heavenly Father could have ever given us. It is about Christ, about His example. It is about love and service and joy. He is the gift.