Sometimes

Sometimes I feel so lost and confused like I will never really belong or fit in anywhere.
Sometimes I think I will never be able to get the job I want.
Sometimes I feel like I am going to explode from holding it all inside.
Sometimes I wonder if things will ever go the way I plan.
And sometimes I question if there even is a plan for me.
But...
Sometimes I remember I am a daughter of God.
Sometimes I get this feeling that everything is going to be okay.
Sometimes I just have to let it all out.
Sometimes I realize His plan is better than my dreams.
And sometimes I just have to look up and smile.

I'm Wishing...

Mom said to work on my wishlist. I have no idea what it is for because I already got my Christmas present. Well, it was ordered at least. Anyways, I figure I can wish all I want so here it goes. 

1. A new pair of brown boots. I had to retire mine last year because they had holes in the soles from me wearing them so much. 

 2. A jumpsuit. Laugh all you want. I love them. One with sleeves would be better, but I can always find something to wear over one without.  

 3. Cute shirts. I am having a hard time finding cute shirts right now, and somehow I always find myself in need of more shirts.  

 4. Oxfords. Need I say more? 

 5. My quilt. Right now it is just sitting in a bag waiting to be sewn together and quilted.  If only I could sew.

6. And two books from the LDS bookstore. One is all pictures of temples around the world and one is called "It's Better to Look Up." Both look like real winners.

That's really it. I mean, I have the cutest puppy (proof below) and my class ring is the Christmas present that has been ordered. I really have it made!

Oh My Heart... It Just Exploded

Having a fur baby is a lot like having a real baby. She just has fur. I love every moment I get to spend with her learning about and from her, and I love watching her personality develop over time. Having Vivien has made me think a lot about when I am really a mom. I cannot wait to possibly have a baby who looks like me, but I also cannot wait to possibly have one that looks like my husband. Either way it is going to be an adventure. Last night, I made a few promises to my future kids. Here it goes.

I promise: 

To not name you something ridiculous.

To read to you and tell you stories.

To sing to you and dance with you.

To cherish every moment I have with you even if you're driving me crazy because those moments won't last forever.

To show you how to fly.

To teach you to love life and love each other.

To help you build your testimony.

To always make you smile.

To buy you cute clothes. 

To laugh with you.

To memorize everything about you and love you more than I can express.

To take fun pictures.

To let your daddy show you how much he loves you.

To let you know that although I am not perfect (as you will one day learn), I'm doing the best I can.

To teach you that you are a child of God.

To let you go on adventures.

To let you have a puppy. Because that's important.

To let you make messes.

To show you how special you are.

To let you dress up but teach you that even superheros and princesses do their chores.

And finally, to tell you that you are my happily ever after over and over again. 

20 Things to Know When You're 20

I found this online the other day. I feel like it is appropriate right now. You know, since I'm 20.

1. Find your passion, and stick to it. Even when you feel like it’s time to give it up. 

2. Don’t push yourself in creative arts, unless you want to become a socially anxious insomniac. 

3. You will not be any happier 5 kilos lighter, if anything you will be really really sad that you can’t eat that piece of cake.

4. Realize there is a difference between being in love, and being in love with the idea of love.

5. Don’t let one person become who you live for- especially if it’s a romantic partner. You will find out your great friendships will be worth 26 romantic relationships.

6. Studying hard is not the be all and end all. Don’t let society and school trick you into believing you must study for your career *unless you want to be a teacher, but remember all teachers are insane.

7. Don’t over analyze what others say. Actions really are worth 1000 words.

8. You are not defined by your job title, relationship status or stereotype. You are your experiences.

9. Travel.

10. Never assume, always ask questions even if you feel uncomfortable.

11. Write your feelings down, especially if you feel overwhelmed- it all makes sense on paper.

12. You can go to mom with any of your problems and she will never judge- do the same for others.

13. Be grateful for at least one thing every morning- you’ll be surprised how much this can set you up to have a beautiful day.

14. Hold on to people that bring you love & joy, and once these people no longer do, know it is okay to let go.

15. Remember that life is temporary- one day you will be gone so use this time wisely.

16. Money should be used for freedom- try to enjoy a healthy relationship with it.

17. Only at the lowest of lows, then are you worthy of the highest of highs.

18. Don’t feel like you are waiting for life to happen, your life is the journey, not the destination.

19. Your instinct is always correct- learn how to abide by it, even when you don’t particularly want to.

20. And most importantly, even when you can’t understand how or why- Life always goes on…

Beginning the Countdown

Have you ever seen the movie 27 Dresses? This girl is a bridesmaid 27 times, but on the 28th time, she wears a white dress that she got to pick for her special day. Well, I am starting my countdown of 27 dresses. I wore one at Dani's wedding and one at Kaitlyn's. Two down, 25 more to go before my day. I need to go make more friends... Anyways, at Kaitlyn's wedding I once again got to think about what it may be like on my special day. Here are some of my ideas: 

Decorations in the church gym:

 The Groom:

The ring: 

 

 The dress:

The flowers:

And if he wants to splurge and get me a puppy with the ring... Well, I wouldn't complain!

Also, he has to want a family because I want a few of these:

And maybe one or two of these:

Dear future husband, I don't know if I have never met you or if you are someone I have known for years. I don't know what you like to do, but I do hope you like to have fun, watch movies, swim, play with dogs, and maybe even kayak on occasions. I hope you have a strong testimony of the Gospel, and I hope we can keep each other strong when times are tough. I even hope when there is a really cute shirt or dress at the store that you don't let me buy it because I would have to alter my "covenants" in order to wear it without them showing. I hope you don't mind that I don't want a big, flashy wedding. An intimate sealing and a small reception at the church gym is really all I want. I hope my dress and ring reflect who you and I are: beautiful, elegant, simple, and timeless. I hope you know that I am not like other girls. I'm not a crazy dancer, and I am not a singer unless you count times in the car when I sing as loud as I can which I know sounds horrible. I am more serious, but I will love you forever. I cannot wait until the day I find you. Whether it is tomorrow or in the years to come, I cannot wait to have eternity with you. I can't wait to have kids just like us that drive us absolutely insane sometimes but are so cute and lovable. I know you will love me, from the sass to the southern charm, because I will love you, all of you. Until that one fine day where I get to meet you... I will keep waiting and smile every time I think of it.