Stories, Like Life, Have No Logical Conclusion

So, once upon a time I fell for an Arizona boy. Apparently one football game a year ago a mutual friend introduced us. No matter how hard I rack my brain, I cannot remember this. It kind of makes me sad. Then, one day my roommate told me she had a crush on this boy. I didn't know who he was so I was really happy for her. She had me go to the ward BBQ with her because this particular boy was in charge of them. When I "met" him, I thought it was weird when he remembered the football game and meeting me so long ago. Still don't remember... When we got back from the BBQ she told me she didn't think he liked her. I asked her who she thought he liked. A little later she told me she thought he liked me. I laughed because there was no way. Her and Emilee liked him and had spent more time with/ talked more with/knew him better. I didn't know this kid at all. I swear I had never seen him before. Apparently he had been in our ward since last fall. It was now the end of spring semester and I was just now meeting him. Then, all of the sudden it was only Dani, Tyler, and me. We went to a ward activity where he kept trying to flip my kayak. Rude. Who does that? We had fun at the lake. I just love being on the water. Not long after that, he invited me and another girl to go sailing. I thought it would be fun so I said I would go. Why not? I live to be on the water. It ended up being a little stormy, so he took the both of us to dinner. He introduced me to an amazing place with amazing food, and he even paid. Then this girl moved, and he asked me on a date to the MoTab Pioneer Day concert with Lindsey Sterling and Nathan Pacheco. He drove and opened the door for me each and every time we got in and out of the car. I sadly didn't know how to handle it since a boy has never done that for me before. Honestly, on our drive to Salt Lake, I felt so comfortable. We always had something to say. There was never a quiet moment in the car. We went to the concert and both absolutely loved it. Coming home was the same way as going up. We talked, we laughed, and we enjoyed each others' company. Then he took me to dinner again. Full of a pie shake and so many chicken strips, I was a happy girl. Less than a week later, we had a stake activity. He brought his boat this time and took a bunch of people on rides. The whole time I wished I could be one of those people. At the very end, he kicked everyone off and denied other people rides. He sent someone to tell me it was my turn. A little skeptical, I slowly moved toward the boat. He just smiled and waited. I jumped up on the boat, and we were off. He taught me how to steer this little sailboat, and we sailed for a good forty-five minutes. He saved the last ride for me because that was as the sun was setting, and let me tell you, the sun setting over a lake with mountains in the background is one of the most beautiful sights. The next two weeks we texted back and forth a lot, and we spent a lot of time together. After he named his boat, I went down to keep him company while he painted it. Then somehow we both got roped into seeing fireworks with the ward. We even had fun there when an obnoxious girl sat in between us. We would sit and talk when we had FHE together or break the fast. Then, all of the sudden, he had to leave. We texted every day for a long time after. We had some of the funniest conversations that kept me up late into the night. I was going to see him over Thanksgiving, but after two months of texting every day, he just stopped. I may never know why. There is always that dull hurt nagging me, and every once in a while I know hurt flashes across my eyes/face if something that reminds me of him is brought up. Someday I will get over it and find the guy I'm meant to be with. Maybe... A stupid song has been stuck in my head for like two weeks. I goes like this. "And I tell myself to let the story end, that my heart will rest in someone else's hand, but my why not me philosophy began. And I said oh, how am I gonna get over you? I'll be alright, just not tonight, but someday. Oh, I wish you'd want me to stay. I'll be alright, just not tonight, but someday. Say it's coming soon: someday without you. All I can do is get me past the ghost of you. Wave goodbye to me. I won't say I'm sorry. I'll be alright once I find the other side of someday." This is me letting this story end. I must remember every heartache will fade away just like every storm will run, run out of rain. The end.

Giddy as a Jellybean

This week started in one of the most amazing ways. I went to church. Now, sometimes I do not have the right mindset and three hours seems like twice as many of torture, but this week was different. This was three divine hours with the Spirit there the whole time. I started off reading the quote on last week's program. President Thomas S. Monson said, "Times change, but truth persists. When we fail to profit from the experiences of the past, we are doomed to repeat them with all their heartache, suffering, and anguish. Haven't we the wisdom to obey Him who knows the beginning from the end-- our Lord, who designed the plan of salvation." I absolutely loved that quote. Truth persists. Being so excited about that quote, I read the one for this week. Elder Richard G. Scott said, "When faith is properly understood and used, it has dramatically far-reaching effects. Such faith can transform an individual's life from maudlin, common everyday activities to a symphony of joy and happiness." Wow. He almost one-upped President Monson. A symphony of joy and happiness. Beautiful, let me tell you. Sacrament was extra special. In thinking of Christ, I read through some of the hymns, and I came to one I had never noticed before. Prayer is the Soul's Sincere Desire is a beautiful hymn that we never sing. "Prayer is the soul's sincere desire, uttered or unexpressed, the motion of a hidden fire that trembles in the breast. Prayer is the burden of a sigh, the falling of a tear, the upward glancing of an eye when none but God is near." Holy moley. Why do we not sing this song? Then, we got to the speakers. I loved the talks. I actually learned something from each one. One speaker pointed out a scripture. It was 2 Timothy 1:7. It says, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." God gives us the spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. I am so thankful for that. I actually enjoyed Sunday School which is an odd thing for me. At one point I felt my glow, a huge, dazzling smile broke across my face, and I had to share it with some friends. True happiness that comes from the warmth of the Spirit in that all too cold room is the best happiness. Then, Relief Society was just something special. A good talk with Bishop just made the day complete, but movies, ward prayer, and a game of Bang! just made it better. 

Monday was odd. I still wanted that glow, but I was so worried about seeing Andrew again I let it fade away. I went to Seven Peaks with Dani. My worn out beach towel and a swim suit hanging to dry are becoming constant companions of my towel in the bathroom. The coconut scent of my sunscreen never fades from my room, my hamper still smells like the lake, my cheeks are always sun-kissed, and my muscles were still sore from rowing a boat. We just laid in the sun. Best idea ever. It was lovely. I loved the way the sun glinted off my hair as we walked back to the car. That is my favorite thing about summer. Once we were back, I got ready for my night with Andrew and waited... and waited. He never said anything. So, we didn't go. I am done. That kind of pushed me over the edge. Monday night I went to FHE to see if I would feel better. No such luck. I did have fun, but the weird numb feeling never quite went away. I came home with the smell of campfire stuck in my hair and ooey gooey marshmallow all over my shirt from the one s'more I had. Oh well. 

Tuesday it was cloudy all day, so I decided it was best to sit, read, and watch Body of Proof. Good plan. Mallory dyed the tips of my hair a deep, auburn red. You only notice it if you are looking for it, but I love it. Really. I love it. It was a surprise that afternoon when Justin asked me to go sailing with him. I had nothing to do, and he is a fun guy, so I went. It was starting to get stormy, and we decided to go to Guru's instead. Good choice. I had never been there, but the food is AH-mazing. Sweet potato fries and cilantro-lime quesadillas left me insanely full and content. Wednesday, Justin asked if I wanted to go to the pioneer day concert with him. I had tickets, and I wanted to go with Dani and Tyler. But, I decided I did want to go with Justin. It all worked out though. Jake and Anna used my other two tickets so Dani and Tyler had another couple to go with instead of just me.
Friday came sooner than I thought it would. It was the day I had been waiting for all week. I got Dani, Tyler, and Melissa (another girl from the ward) in my bug, put the top down, and we made our way to the lake. We had a lot of fun kayaking and just playing in the water. There is something about the way the mud squishes between your toes that just makes it an interesting, to say the least, adventure. Dinner was grilled hamburgers, chips, fresh pineapple, and cookies. I love summer food! After we ate, we went back to the lake for more fun. As the activity was winding down, I got to go sailing with Justin. He taught me how to steer the boat and work the sail. We sat and talked for the 40 minutes we were out there (I kind of lost track of time because I was so excited/happy, and I was terrified that I was going to kill his boat). We watched the sunset on the lake and finally decided to go back in. I was in a dreamlike trance all the way home. We got back and watched "The Prestige" with some friends. Between popcorn, Calypso strawberry lemonade, and peanut butter M&Ms I managed to stay awake. The movie was really good, and I just had a fun night. Dani and I went back to our apartments and had a sleepover. We watched "Emma." Well, we talked while it was playing. When we stopped talking, we both fell asleep. There is no telling what time that was at. We didn't start the movie until one in the morning.
Waking up this morning was rough. I just did not want to move or think or move. Dani and I did finally get up and we had a good breakfast of pancakes, buttermilk syrup, and vitamin waters. Dani, Tyler, Anna, Jake, and one of their friends were all present. After breakfast I went to take a nap (which didn't happen) and get ready. Going to the pioneer day concert in the conference center was beautiful. First off, the lighting and the stage design were beautiful. I loved it. Then, Nathan Pacheco is absolutely amazing, with his voice that is like butter because it's so smooooth (that was just a joke for my little brother). Lindsey Sterling was... interesting. Her outfit was atrocious, and her violin squeaked a few times. I just had to like her because watching her all I could think about was my cousin, Aleah who is on her mission because she adores her. Justin and I had some really good conversations, learning about each other, making each other laugh, teasing, and just having fun. There was never a dull moment. After the concert we were hungry, so we went to Sammy's for dinner. I love pie shakes. So much. The food was good too though. Justin was a real gentleman. Bryon is the only other guy that has told me to wait so he could open my door for me every time. I appreciate when the door is opened for me. I had so much fun last night!!
That brings us to Sunday once again. Nine o'clock came way too soon after getting home around midnight. Church was once again better than usual. I mean, I liked the speakers until our high councilman spoke for way too long with his monotone voice. It made me want to go to sleep. Then, marriage prep and I have a love/hate relationship. We always have, and we probably always will. Relief Society was remarkable. We talked about having the faith to not be healed once again. We all go through different things in life, but sometimes we have to say our prayers with the faith that things are not always going to turn out the way we would like. With God, all things are possible but not necessarily easy. I also actually opened the manual (well, pulled it up on my phone) and read the lesson. At the very end it says, "This having been so in the past, we can well believe that our future progress will depend upon our determination to do the will of God under all circumstances and the aid which He shall give to us." We all just have to keep the determination to do all God asks of us enduring it well rather than just enduring, and we must remember that without his help, we can do nothing. After church I had dinner with Dani, Tyler, Drew, Jake, and Braden. It was really good, and it is always nice to be surrounded by friends.
It was a wonderful, marvelous, exciting week. I learned a lot and had fun. I did decide that it is time to get going on my summer bucket list. I may just have to do some things alone, but I will start crossing things off. I want to be able to say, "Box checked. Nailed it." I found more things to do in Utah. Look at this or this or even this. I won't do them all this summer, but at least I know they are options for the future! After this week, I am seriously just as giddy as a jellybean, and it is because of things I didn't plan on happening. I'm just going with the flow.

My Week in Review

A lot has gone on this week. It all started on Monday... Monday I went to Seven Peaks in the morning, came home and did not feel well (I think it was from being in the heat for so long) and took a nap. My nap with a warm pillow and blanket did not make me feel any better. When it was time for FHE, I was really not feeling well. I went to the opening part of it, but when they left for the park to play capture the flag with a greased watermelon, I went home. Mallory and I decided to watch "Mama." This movie does make you jump and worry somewhat about what in hidden in the darkness of your closet or the other side of the room. We were both jumpy throughout the movie and ended up curled up on the couch each with a blanket. All through the movie, I kept hearing a rustling in the blinds, but I thought I was just scared because of the movie. I told Mallory about it, and she thought I was making things up. When the movie ended, I heard it again, and so did Mallory. We turned on the light, and what popped out from behind the blinds? The king kong of all moths... Moths were a key part of the movie so when he emerged, we both frantically grabbed all of our things, screamed every time it moved, and ran like the wind to our room where we safely stayed until morning. 

Tuesday I went to Seven Peaks with Dani and Tyler. We had a blast! I loved getting to spend my afternoon with those two. Wednesday I was exhausted and did not wake up until 11:30. I groggily got up and went to Seven Peaks once again. I was fine until I got a text from Andrew. Brain overload. After talking to my mom and watching a movie, I realized that I had to be a grown up. As much as I hate it, I take too much pride in people thinking I am older than I am. I have to keep that up. Thursday I got to have some fun. I got all dressed up with my hair and makeup done and went to the Hinckley Center. Then, I had to get ready for our ward activity. Dani and I should be on a professional rowing team. We swam, rafted, played games, ate pizza, sang Pocahontas songs, and had fun with the ward. We stayed out until the water got too choppy and we were sore and tired. I love being at the lake. It reminds me at home. It reminds me of when I was little and we went to the duck pond, the times we went to the park near Lake Arlington, and the stake lake activities. I went home, took a shower, and went to bed. I was so tired. I woke up this morning with more sore muscles not just from rowing but also from laughing. It was raining outside, but Dani and I decided we were going to have an adventure to the Mona rope swings anyways. By the time we got there, it was no longer raining, but it took us forever to find the swings. We finally did and I braved the cold water to swing it. As scary as it was at the top, it was a blast. This summer bucket list item has been crossed off, but I will be returning on a warmer day. Dani and I left wrapped in towels and jackets. On the way home, we stopped by the San Francisco Sourdough Eatery and then the Red Barn. I want everyone to know that chocolate chip ice cream is my absolute favorite. Simple and delicious. It was a fun week. My tan is coming along nicely, I had some fun with friends, and I spent most of the week in the water. There's nothing better. 

Adrenaline Rush

Summer classes ended. I got As in both of my classes. I say that is pretty good for spending so much time with friends, in the BYUSA office, and at Seven Peaks. It was a great semester. The only problem was when it ended, I did not know what to do with myself... for a while. Then, I realized I still had packing to do, I still have friends, and there are so many fun things I want to do before school starts back up. Monday, I went to an amusement park called Lagoon with Dani, Emilee, and Meghan. We had a blast, and we were there for most of the day. This was my favorite ride. We went on it four times.
There was something about it... We were all laughing and talking before it started. When it starts, it is FAST. We all burst out in screams. You go up that huge hill first. At the top, you pause for a minute before falling to your seeming death. Then, the screams start again. After that hill the ride really isn't bad. We just talked the rest of the ride about how scary that hill was. It was nice to have the adrenaline pumping through me, but it was even better to see my old roommates, enjoy their company, and get out of Provo. Tuesday was reading day, but no reading day is complete without an adventure so naturally we went to Seven Peaks again. Wednesday and Thursday were finals days, but Meghan and I packed and moved our stuff as well. Yesterday came yet another adventure. I went boating with Meghan and some of her friends. I love being on the water. So much fun. Utah Lake is actually rather warm too which makes it all the more enjoyable. Tubing is one of my favorite things to do. Why do I like it? I have no idea. When I think about it, I do not think the sore muscles, burns from the tubes, bumps, bruises, and stiff neck are worth it. But, then I think about how much fun it is. You are flying across the water holding on for dear life. When you fall off, you FLY. Then, you get back on and do it all again.
It was kind of an awakening experience for me. I read this book not too long ago. The main girl was up in the restaraunt in the Space Needle in Seattle. Looking down, she realized that her work in which she devoted her life toward was nothing in the grand scheme of things. I thought it was cheesy while reading it, but being on the lake and realizing how small BYU, which is my world, is nothing. It is so small compared to everything else I could see. I guess I need to work on my priorities. There are other things besides BYU and BYUSA. We were on the water all day.

Heaven, I tell you. After, I went to Janessa's to watch a movie. We watched "The Proposal." It is one of my favorite movies! I love it. I got home around 12:30 and had to clean because one of my roommates left for the weekend without doing her jobs. Fail. Anyways, I did it, and it was fine. Today, I am working on being able to move. It is rough. It hurts to do anything. We had our cleaning checks so I am technically supposed to be gone. I just have to wait until Friday to move into my new apartment that I am so excited about. It means a lot more work of unpacking and making it look like home before I have to leave on Monday, but I can do it. I am going to Seven Peaks once again. I have to get it all out of my system before it gets cold. I do not know what I am going to do when that happens. I am so excited. Tomorrow is our area dinner for BYUSA. I am going to make red velvet cream cheese brownies. So good! I have been looking forward to them all week. Our dinners are always fun, and this one is only with a couple of us. More fun? I don't know, but I cannot wait to find out!