Does It Almost Feel Like Nothing Changed At All

It amazes me how the Lord answers prayers. Seriously. Whether it is a simple request for the class to not read your paper any further or an earnest plea asking him to get you through the semester. In class, the worst paper I felt I had ever written was read in class. The teacher and class were astounded by the quality of the paper... They thought it was good. I just said a simple prayer asking that they not read past a certain point where all my concentration had gone out the window and the quality went rapidly spiraling downward. Luckily (when luck really has nothing to do with it) enough, they stopped reading at exactly that point. Then yesterday... I had a class until 8:30 at night. After a long week the last thing I wanted to do was to sit in class that late. I walked in to see my group from my favorite class last semester. Oddly enough (again, not really odd at all), I was assigned to be in their group for the semester. Emilee is in two of my classes and is in my group for the semester in one. In my other two classes I am left to my own devices, but if I close my eyes... It almost feels like nothing changed at all. My Heavenly Father loves me!
I got to go wedding dress shopping today. Not for me of course, but it was so much fun! Kaitlyn looked so pretty in every dress she tried on. Helping her pick her dress was fun. Helping her pick her veil was fun. Helping her pick her headband was fun. Watching her as the lady told her she got a free garter was fun. Seeing her pay was even fun. Guys, my roommate is getting married! Didn't we just meet each other? Didn't she just go with me to my first dance? Didn't she and I just jump in the biggest puddle? Didn't we just come to college together and cry in our room together when our families left? Apparently not. She's getting married! 

So, obviously I made it past hump day! Now the coaster is flying down the largest hill with the end in sight. but I don't have time to think about it because of the exhilaration. Speaking of hills and exhilaration, I just went on the best Student Alumni retreat ever! We went to Soldier Hallow. You get a tube and head up to the base of the hill, maybe swinging it and trying to knock each other down on the way. Once you get there they hook your tube to a pulley and you're pulled up the mountain so you can slide down. I'll admit I was a little nervous at first. I lost that the first time I got air on one of the hills and adrenaline took over. I love adventures! I love being with friends! Going down in a big group was even more fun. Then Mexican food which was as good as you can get in Utah, two giant cookies with creme in the middle, and a lot of loud singing and crazy dancing along the way home. Surprisingly, the only casualty of the evening was the zipper on my jacket. I can hopefully figure out how to fix it though. I had so much fun! Please note the difference in the before and after pictures of me. They are proof that sometimes I look like a mess! At the end, Amanda, Mady, Michael, and Brody had gone inside because they were too cold. My boss told me he thought I would have wimped out before anyone. Rude. My love for fun and adventure always beats how much I hate the cold. I'm a trooper.
Tomorrow is movie night with Julie Anne as soon as I get some homework out of the way since I did not get any done today. And, just to add some enjoyment to your day, you are welcome to look at some of the most beautiful pictures I have seen in a long time. Cheers to the freakin' weekend! I'll drink (chocolate milk or hot chocolate) to that!!

Interview and Retreat

Let me just say that Friday did not start in the best way when I was still awake at two in the morning to receive a text telling me that they forgot to call me about my BYUSA interview and it was 3:30 that day. It continued to not be the best when I was still awake at three to respond to it and then stayed awake until six to continue to stress about it. I finally fell asleep at six but had to wake up at seven... After going to my classes, I had to come home to get a cold shower. I was burning hot from being so stressed. I called my mom and prayed everything would go well. As I walked into the office so did my friend Angela. She is so cute and she helped me calm down a little, but going into my interview, I was still shaking. I answered every question they threw at me well. The only problem was both of the people interviewing me acted like they thought I sat around and did nothing all day making me unqualified for the position. By the time I got out of there I was on the brink of tears from anxiety, and I was pretty mad. I talked to Eric about it who talked to Angela who went and talked to (reprimanded) the interviewers. Apparently they already have someone in mind (a friend) for the position. I probably will not get my BYUSA position, but I did everything in my power to be the best candidate for the position. Apparently it isn't who is the most qualified who gets the job. Oh well. In my brink of tears state, Austin noticed and asked if I wanted to feel better. I did of course, so he played a few hymns on his  guitar and sang along for me. It did bring a smile to my face. Later on, another girl the interviewers were rather rude to came out flustered. Austin and I walked up to her and just stayed in a group hug for a little while. I got multiple hugs throughout the day. Apparently I just looked distraught. I did not have much time to completely worry about it. I had a retreat to carry out. It was so much fun but kind of stressful in the beginning. As the night wore on, I felt better and better. Games, wonderful trainings, a good dinner, and only the best people to be surrounded by. At one point I ran upstairs to read my scriptures for five minutes. I came across the scripture Mosiah 8:18- "Thus God has provided a means that man, through faith, might work mighty miracles, therefore he becometh a great benefit to his fellow beings." It is a miracle how involved I have become in BYUSA this year. I went from being the invisible girl to being the girl most people know. Then, right as I finished reading one of the committee members came and sat on the bed with me. She looked at me and told me that it was because of my warm smile, bright eyes, and beautiful personality that she became involved in BYUSA and felt like she belonged here at BYU. I love her. After another long hug, we went downstairs to join the party. We were about to do skits. My coordinator, Angela, and I were judges, and they were all so funny. They ranged from songs to impromptu to telling the truth and kind of making fun of all of the areas in the office. By the end Angela and I were gasping for air and were crying from laughing so hard. Then came the slideshow. We all curled up on the couches together and started at the beginning of our journey. By the end of that we once again had tears in our eyes but this time it wasn't from laughter. Our journey is coming to a close. For a few of us, that was our last retreat. To brighten the mood once again ice cream sandwiches and "Just Dance" were brought out. After watching Eric finally playing Just Dance at one in the morning I decided it was time for bed. My day had been full of mixed emotions. I decided it may have started out as badly as it possibly could but I would let it end in the best way possible. This morning I woke up early to make everyone breakfast, and we had one more training before it was time to leave. After talking to a friend from home and my mom and dad, taking a long nap, and writing my talk, I am turning in for the night. The time is far spent. I am done. Tomorrow starts a new week.

Starting with the Girl in the Mirror

I want to start off by saying Heavenly Father does hear and answer our prayers. It snowed all week, and it was icy. On Thursday night, I said a prayer and asked that I would be able to make it safely to the canyon for our BYUSA retreat. I do not know why, but it always just happens to be snowing like crazy the week I have to drive up Hobble Creek canyon on my own. So, Friday morning, I woke up and there was sunshine. What is this beautiful brightness? I missed the sun, and not only did it make me feel better physically, but it made me feel better about driving since the snow and ice was melting.

Friday morning I woke up at 7:46. I have class at 8. I ran to class and made it, but I did not look all that great. Oh well. I went to classes until 12:30 when my last class got out early. I went to pick up my rental car, went shopping with Eric at Costco for the retreat, and got back around 2. By that point  my feet hurt, and I was worn out. I followed Eric to his apartment and then drove him back up to campus so his car was not sitting out all night. Then everything got even more hectic. We set up for all of the games for the opening activity, once they started I left to go pick up the food and start my trek up the mountain. I made it safely, and unloaded my car. I have bruises on both hips from balancing the heavy boxes on them. Thank goodness I have mom hips. I do not think I could have gotten those boxes inside otherwise.
We ate, had trainings that really were outstanding (insert OUTSTANDING cheer here), played a couple team-building but meaningful games, and then had free time. Our first game was about the legacy we are going to leave behind and how it isn't how you start that people remember but how you finish. We had three trainings. One was about finishing strong and thinking about what we want to do next semester, one about living up to your potential, and one about being the kind of leader that motivates. I needed all three of them and took something away from all of them. After one of them I even connected with a girl I have not been able to talk to before. I was so happy.
We watched "The Ultimate Gift", with homemade popcorn that Eric made, and then we sat in one of the big family rooms and talked forever. We bought a box of 100 bags of cookies. When we woke up the next morning, after only an hour of sleep, it was hard to remember what happened that night, but there were 100 empty bags of cookies on the floor. Sugar hangover. Breakfast was delicious, but the trainings after were my favorite. They asked us five questions and told us to answer.
Why do you serve? Because I love it and the feeling it gives me and others, it is giving me important life skills, and it is making me a better person which will benefit my future family.
How has your view of leadership changed over the year? I used to think the best leaders were the outgoing and outspoken ones. When Eric texted me to ask if I was going to serve this year and he told me I should come into the office and talk to me because they needed people just like me, I laughed. Now, I realize it takes all kinds or people working together to bring the best outcomes.
Who has inspired you to be a leader? My mom and dad as well as my grandparents have definitely inspired me as well as Brother Smith, Sister Bergquist, Julie Salhus, Suzanne Dilday, Summer Elmazi, my old roommates, other extremely influential people in my life, and my BYUSA friends that I have worked and grown with the past couple semesters. I love them all.

What have you accomplished? I have grown to meet some of my potential. I know how to do so many more things, I have hopefully influenced the life of others, and I hope to keep growing and achieving my dreams.
What do you hope to do next year? I hope to be the Vice President of Administration, a student body officer. This is something I have chosen to try to achieve even though it terrifies me beyond belief. It scares me, but I know I can do it.
What could keep you from accomplishing that goal, and how can you overcome it? Fear could keep me from doing this, but all I have to do is realize that this fear does not come from my Heavenly Father. It comes from the adversary who is trying to keep me from becoming who my Heavenly Father wants me to be.
When we got back, I had a million things to do. When I finally finished it was a little after noon. I got home and went straight to sleep. Even after I got up from my nap it was hard to get going. Around six I had an energy boost and went to the basketball game with all five of my old roommates. The whole time Meghan and I were singing "Scream and Shout." If you change the lyrics to "rise and shout. The cougars are out." it is perfect for BYU basketball games. Just so you know. When I got back the energy was gone and I went back to bed. I now feel better, but I am still tired, I still have bruises, and my arms are so sore. If I didn't love retreats so much I do not know what I would do.

Shine Bright Like a Diamond

I first want to acknowledge the hand of God in my life this weekend. I did not have to drive up in the canyon. I went, but I drove up with my coordinator. I prayed all yesterday that I would be safe driving up there, and driving in a car that wasn't mine was just making me feel uncomfortable. Good thing I have a wonderful coordinator watching out for me. I was safe. I also realized she is one of the coolest people I will ever meet. We talked about almost everything on our drive up, and it put my racing mind at ease. I seriously love her. I also want to point out that the song Diamonds came on three times on the drive up there. Needless to say, it was stuck in everyone's heads by the time we arrived. We all sang it all night. When we got to Springhaven, I was amazed. First off, it is HUGE. I got lost more than once in that "house." There is a jungle gym and a treehouse inside. Second off, it is so nice. It has heated floors. I was happy. With the blizzard going on outside, there is nothing better than a place with heated floors. Trainings and games and food... Oh my! It was a lot. I went in to this retreat like one often does conference. I went in with a prayer in my heart. It was answered, and everything was perfect. Everything went well. I did get thrown in the snow a couple of times, we had a snowball fight that was rather intense (I am a pro at dodging and aiming so I think I won), and we just had fun. I shone bright like a diamond the whole time, and I got closer to people I already love. Also, it is a huge feat that my crush did not resurface. Proof that I am so done. The theme was dedication. Spiritual, BYUSA, school, and self dedication. I learned a lot and had fun. There isn't much better!

Scared Out of My Wits

How can weather go from the perfect fall weather to snow overnight? I have no idea. Welcome to Utah where one minute you are instagramming pictures of changing leaves and the next you are instagramming multiple inches of snow. Today is the day I have been so excited for and have been dreading all at once. I have my retreat tonight. I am so excited for all of the fun I am going to have. I am excited to get away. I am excited to be with friends. I am dreading driving up by myself. I am dreading having to facilitate a game. Today I woke up and it was raining. Well, that rain quickly turned to snow, and now I have to drive in the snow for my first time going up a mountain in a canyon that has no cell phone service by myself with the food for the night. Needless to say I am stressed. I have not been able to concentrate on anything. It took me an hour to put on the little bit of makeup I wear. For other girls that may not be bad, but it usually takes me eight minutes. I just need to drive up there and I will feel a million times better. I know I will be fine, I am just terrified. 

Crazy Weekend

This weekend has been wonderful, marvelous, exciting! Friday night consisted of making my tutu for Halloween and watching movies with Emilee and Kaitlyn. I seriously love being around them. When we finished our tutus we were all kind of hungry because none of us had eaten dinner. So, at 10:30 we went to The Chocolate and each got our own cazookie. The waiter did not think we could eat our own. You could see it on his face. Every time he passed us he would check on us to see how much we had eaten. Guess what? I ate ALL of mine. Emilee was a few bites away, and Kaitlyn ate about half. On like the second bite, I told Emilee we were probably going to regret it. That prophecy came true rather quickly when we were done. None of us felt great after. I went to sleep that night moaning and groaning. 

I went to sleep between two and three and had to get up early the next morning for my 5K. I was going to run it as fast as I could, but I did not feel well still. Also, Devon did not stretch so he was having a rough time. We walked most of the way. It was nice. When I got home I had to run to change out of my sweaty clothes (I know I walked, but I had so many layers on I still got hot) and actually do my hair. 

Then, I was running again to the evaluation retreat. We went to the Red Barn. I did not really want pictures taken of me, but that was not going to happen with Angela around and Eric encouraging her taking pictures of me. I feel like this retreat consisted of a lot of flirting. Eric would do things just to make me laugh (like all the time; I felt like that was his main goal at this retreat), he started calling me "Ma" because he said I am already like a mom with our team and in real life, he picks me up first, he drops me off last, he holds doors open for me, and he always makes sure I get inside before he drives away. I still had fun even with the confusion once again mounting up. It wasn't just him though., just so you know. When we got there we got some ice cream and looked around the little store they have in the barn. We then went on a hayride and went to the pumpkin patch. There was a giant slide we went on that was so much fun! Kennedy, Angela, and I made a train and went on it together. I loved it. Then, we went through a maze, and we played around on all of the things they had set up for us to play on and finally picked pumpkins. When we got back we went back to the store. When everyone was done shopping we went to a little sandwich place. I did not get anything because I still was not feeling great, but I was in good company. Not only was there a lot of flirting going on, but there was a lot of talk about the future. Well, not the future in general but mine and Eric's futures. I swear the world is out to get me. He talked about how he did not even know if things were going to work out between him and Maddie. Someone said that if things didn't work out then he probably wouldn't get married for another year. He said if he had worked with them for a while then it wouldn't be that long. Oh dear. The picture of him and me on the hayride with me looking away is me trying to not freak out. I am fine though. I am going on other dates, and I am not even spending time with him outside of BYUSA so I am doing so much better! When I got home I cleaned and got ready for bed even though it was only four or five. I spent the rest of the day just resting and watching movies. 

 Today I got up early for church because I just could not sleep last night. I wore one of my mom's old dresses, and I felt super cute and warm. There has been a lot going on so when we sang "Where Can I Turn for Peace?" in Relief Society, I got goose bumps and let relief flood through me. It has been a fun weekend.