The Reason for the Season

Christmas is such a special time of year. It is a time of light, happiness, beautiful decorations, presents, giving, family, and love. It is my absolute favorite time of year with all that it represents and the meaning behind it.

This year I have really been reflecting on what Christmas means to me and the symbols behind the different aspects of the Christmas story.

DONKEY: Are we not all like the donkey? Does it not sometimes feel like we are carrying a heavy load? Do we not sometimes think the distance to where we are going is too far? But, when we remember our true purpose, we have to remain faithful. There is something truly wonderful coming at the end of our long, hard journey.
STAR: Are we not all like the star? If we follow the promptings of the Spirit and try to live like Him and follow His example do we not shine and lead others to Christ? So many times I have been told that members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have a light about them and people are so curious about how to get it! We can shine and be an example to others and bring them to our Savior.
MARY: Are we not all like Mary? Do we sometimes feel inadequate to the things that are sometimes asked of us? But, we were worthy enough to be asked. Again, there are great rewards if we continue on in faith.
JOSEPH: Are we not all like Joseph? We sometimes feel like we are knocking on every door we see asking for a place to stay or just a little bit of relief only to find ourselves somewhere we did not expect to be but happier than we could have ever imagined.
INNKEEPER: Are we not all like the innkeeper? When Christ comes knocking do we not all have to find a place in our busy lives to give him? It may not be our best room. At the time, it may be nothing but a lowly stable. The important thing to remember is that we gave Him all we had at that moment, and hopefully as time goes on we can find an even better place for Him.
ANGELS: Are we not all like the angels? Don't we want to share what we know from the rooftops? We have missionaries leave their families for 18 months-2 years to go and spread what we know, but we are each missionaries whether we leave home or not. People are curious about what we know, and we should be ready, willing, and excited to share it!
SHEPHERDS: Are we not all like the shepherds? Do we not sit and marvel at the light of Christ when we see it? It may come a little at a time or all at once, but once we see it we have a deep desire to follow it to the source.
WISEMEN: Are we not all like the wisemen? We study about Christ and watch for the signs of His coming. We want to give gifts to others to taste of the joy He feels as He blesses us. But, more importantly, we want to give Him gifts to show we love Him.

Butterfly

We all love butterflies. They are absolutely beautiful. Their colors, their patterns, their strong wings, the way they so carelessly flutter from one beautiful flower to another... But, we don't always think about all they went through to become a butterfly. We don't think how they started as a tiny egg on the bottom of a leaf. Or how they had to crawl as a caterpillar and eat all the things! What if that caterpillar had been happy to stay as a caterpillar and just eat? He would never know how beautiful he could become. We don't think about the time he spends building the cocoon and sitting all snug in there. We don't even think about the effort it takes to break out of that cramped space and flourish to become the butterfly!

The gospel has an amazing transformative power. We are and always will be children of our Heavenly Father, but it is with the gospel that we can work to become more like Him. It is through the power of the Atonement that we can truly become perfect and live with Him again. 

During conference I was listening to all of the things the prophet, apostles, and other leaders of the church invited us to do. It was exciting but a bit overwhelming. There are so many things I want to do and so much more I want to become. I want so badly to be that beautiful butterfly but sometimes feel like that chunky caterpillar. I want to fly, but all I can do is scoot around an inch at a time. I became so overwhelmed with all I wanted to do with what I learned at conference, personal commitments, work, and church activities. I wanted to be involved, but I got stretched so thin with everything I wanted to do that I ended up not doing much of anything.

This week I have been trying to refocus on what is important and what I really want to do. I went to linger longer at church even though big, loud crowds scare me. I have been being more personal at work with my volunteers working on not only remembering but commenting on things they have shared with me instead of just saying hello and asking them how they are. Today, I even had an evening volunteer come in, and we started chatting. At one point he just stopped and looked at me and then looked at Dylan before he said, "You know, Dylan, when I walk in Megan's smile just lights up the room. You just don't compare." He was kind of kidding but kind of not. I laughed, but it made me feel so good. I went to institute today and stayed after to talk to people. And, best of all, I have time with friends and family scheduled in for later in the week.

I am going to continue to find the things that matter most to me and continue to work on becoming a butterfly in my own right while working to remember that I have been one all along. 

Give Him Something to Grow

In the society we live in today, we want things and we want them now. With a couple touches to a screen you can have anything delivered to you within a day or two. You don't even have to get up off of the couch. This can be wonderful, but it can also give us the mentality that we can do that in all aspects of our lives which can leave us feeling frustrated and distant from our Heavenly Father. Why isn't He answering? Why is He so silent when I tell him what I need? He created the world which includes Amazon. Why can't He be more like them and give me what I want when I want it?

Through all of these questions I sometimes feel that I have been abandoned and left to my own devices. I may be upset with Him for not helping me. I am not the only one who feels this way. Week after week I hear of stories from people in my ward about this struggle. But today, a story from the scriptures came to my mind. I kept thinking about the brother of Jared during our lesson today. The Lord told him to make boats. He knew he was supposed to make boats and went and did so. We all have this moment in our lives when we are given a prompting and just say okay and go about doing it. But, just like with the Brother of Jared, problems soon come. The Brother of Jared soon realized that there would be no way to get air if their boats were "tight like unto a dish." How could they breathe? Surely, Heavenly Father had thought of this... If He could show a people how to make a boat that was completely different than they had ever seen He knew they would have to get air. I'm sure the Brother of Jared thought about this and may have even questioned why Heavenly Father had asked him to make a boat without giving him all of the answers. Then, as they continued building and following the Lord's instructions the Brother of Jared realized they would not have light. We are taught that the Brother of Jared then went to Heavenly Father again to ask what they should do. If it were me I probably would have rolled my eyes and sighed as I had to once again ask what we should do. But, with this question the Brother of Jared is not given a direct answer.

There are times we ask and ask for something and get no reply. We ask for a new job, for a spouse, for more friends, for things to just work out! We want those quick answers like the Brother of Jared got with his first question. We don't want the silence we get more often than not that leaves us to think through things and work them out on our own. Did the Brother of Jared get upset and ask why Heavenly Father couldn't just answer Him?? I don't know... But, I know in my own life I do. And apparently everyone else does as well. So, how do we become like the Brother of Jared and find answers for ourselves? We have to follow the little promptings of the spirit and just believe. I saw a quote today that said, "God can't bless us unless we're giving Him something to grow." We cannot just give him a list of things we would like and sit and wait for Him to give them to us. We must give Him something He can work with.

As the Brother of Jared searched for something that could give light I'm sure he paced and threw thoughts at others to see if they thought it would work. He may have even kicked a few stones as he walked and tried to figure it out. Maybe one day as he was pacing he kicked a stone and the spirit whispered that it might work. He had to act on that prompting and believe in Heavenly Father enough to bring stones to Him and ask Him to touch them to bring them light on their journey. With that action, and that belief he was able to supply light on their long journey to the promised land.

With that faith, he was able to see the finger of God. I may not see the finger of God literally, but I know that I see the hand of God spiritually in my life. I get little nudges, promptings, and assurances as I go. Things are not perfect. Things are not easy. But, I have Him in my life. Even after the Brother of Jared saw the finger of God, his journey was not easy. They were tossed and turned through the seas, and those times when they opened the air hole only for water to come rushing in would have terrified me. Did he and his people question if this was what they were really supposed to be doing or if they made the right decision to go? Maybe. Again, I would have!

So, after heaven has opened and Heavenly Father has spoken to you, when things get tricky in the middle of the journey the trick is continuing to give him something to grow. We cannot order what we want out of life like we order our groceries and expect them to be here the next day. As hard as this is for me, I do find comfort in the words of others as well as the stories in the scriptures. I have a testimony of our Heavenly Father's love for us and His guidance in each and every one of our lives as we work through the beginning, MIDDLE, and end of our mortal journeys here on earth.

The Purpose in Gethsemane

There are good times and bad times for each and every one of us. There are times in which we feel our spirits shine through our sparkling eyes and there are times when the darkness around us seems to take over and we feel our spirits begin to dim. In all of this we may feel utterly and completely alone or that no one understands what we are going through.  The loneliness, the hopelessness is what Satan is desperately trying to make us feel. He wants to isolate us. 

One of my favorite hymns is 'How Firm a Foundation'. My favorite verse is one that is rarely if ever sung, but the words are just as powerful. 

1.         4. When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
   The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
   For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
   And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,
   And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
2. 5. When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
   My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
   The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
   Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,
   Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

I truly believe in these words, but in the midst of a fiery trial do I always feel it?? Absolutely not. 

During His life, Christ went through the ultimate trial. He suffered for each and every one of our sins and infirmities, was ridiculed, bled from every single pore, and was killed in the most public and humiliating way. But, He was resurrected. That is what can give us all hope. He suffered for each of us individually so that we are never alone and there is always someone who knows exactly what we are going through. Our pains, our fears, our doubts. He knows them all. Most importantly, He has given us the ultimate hope that even in our darkest days, there will be light. 

After Christ was resurrected, He showed himself to a couple of his disciples. He walked and talked with Him. He shared scriptures with them. When He asked them why they were so sad, they rebuked him and asked (with some literary freedoms), "Have you been living under a rock?? The man that performed miracles, healing the sick and raising people from the dead, the man who taught us, the man who loved us... The man that we most looked up to was killed a few days ago. He said that he would rise from the dead after three days, but it is the third day. We have lost our teacher and our friend, and after all of that we are losing hope." It wasn't until later that their eyes were opened and they realized He had returned and He had been with them the whole time. Are there times that I am blinded by my own grief as the answers to prayers don't come when or in the way I would like them to that I miss Him in my life when he comes? When my spirit grows dim do I miss him walking beside me? Probably. 

I know his promises are sure and eternal. I know that I was told there would be trials in this life before I came to earth. I know I probably rejoiced at that fact. But, how could I know what trials even were when I was with my Heavenly Father in a perfect place? How could I know what it that meant or how it would feel? I didn't. I didn't know how scared I would feel or how frustrating things could be or how much some things would hurt. I was once told that the degree of difficulty in a trial is equivalent to the degree of trust Heavenly Father has in us. There are times when I feel broken and dim and I just don't understand why Heavenly Father trusts me so dang much. That is when I remember the beautiful words Christ spoke as he was suffering. He said not my will but thine be done. He let The Father's plan unfold. He continued through suffering that I cannot even begin to understand because there was something greater at the end. He did not understand the amount of pain He would have to suffer. He did not understand all that it would entail. He did understand that our Heavenly Father's plan is greater than any of us know. Brian K Ashton once said, "We can trust in and rely upon the Father because He has an eternal perspective. Heavenly Father can see things we cannot." So, even though we may feel like our spirits have been dimmed and we feel like He doesn't hear our prayers, HE DOES. HE IS ALWAYS THERE. Those dark days allow us to feel a small portion of what the Savior went through for us which draws us closer to Him. As we reach out and ask for His help and His guidance and His peace we come to know Him more intimately. He knows us, and He loves us perfectly. No matter how hard things may seem or how dark the day, there is light at the end. That is his promise to each of us.