More FOL Pics

I know you are probably tired of FOL, but I miss it. So, here are a few more pictures from the conference. 

Green Megz and Ham

Every year I am so scared to go to FOL. Last year I was afraid I would not measure up to the expectations I was putting on myself for what a peer mentor should be. This year I knew I would miss Eric, and I was afraid of what was going to happen between Andrew and me. Those were some of the reasons, but the real reason is because it is so far out of my comfort zone. You spend three days in charge of a group of freshmen teaching lessons, dancing, going crazy, singing, and putting your whole self out there. Funny thing though, every year I end up going, and I end up loving it, come home on a spiritual high, and feel like I can conquer the world.

This year I taught four lessons. The first one was on a talk by Sister Dew called You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born for Glory. Sister Dew talks about how we are here right now because we were elected to be. We are here to run the last leg of the relay because our "pre-mortal spiritual valor indicated [we] would have the courage and the determination to face the world at its worst, to do combat with the evil one during his heyday, and, in spite of it all, to be fearless in building the kingdom of God."She talked about how there would be days when we are beat up by life's whiplash, people will disappoint us, and we will disappoint others, and the veil between us and heaven will feel reinforced by concrete.President Hinckley once said, "The responsibility I carry frightens me... Sometimes I could weep with concern. But there comes the assurance that the Lord put me here for His purpose, and if I will be humble and seek the direction of the Holy Spirit, He will use me... to accomplish His purposes." We may feel inadequate and like everything is working against us, but we aren't running alone. We can do all things through Christ because we were born to lead. We were born for glory. There is no limit to what the Lord will teach and give us. We must choose how much power we want to have and what we are willing to do to obtain it. Our Heavenly Father is always there for us. We just have the task of understanding what he has to say. But, as she said earlier in her talk, challenges that tax our faith are usually opportunities to stretch and strengthen our faith by finding out if we really believe the the Lord will help us. Sister Dew asks, "Do you know what we believe? Do you know there is power in the doctrine of Christ to change and overcome weakness? Do you realize that the scriptures contain the answer to every life dilemma?" My answer to all of those is YES! I was born to lead. I was born for glory!!!

The next talk I taught a lesson on was by President Eyring called Education in Real Life. I was taught by this talk to never let my knees hit the ground before my feet. Sometimes I pray for things to happen before I try and make them happen. That is not how it is supposed to work. I just want everything to work out perfectly all of the time, and I feel lost and confused when they don't. Good thing the Lord knows what he needs me to do and what I will need to know. He is kind and all-knowing meaning I can expect that He has prepared opportunities for me to learn in preparation for the service I will give. I also learned through this talk that our education must never stop. We must never put secular learning before spiritual learning because when we put God's purposes first, He will give us miracles. President Eyring closes his talk by saying. "I cannot promise academic success... Nor can I tell you the way in which He will honor His promise of adding blessings upon you. But I can promise you that if you will go to Him in prayer and ask what He would have you do next, promising that you will put His kingdom first, He will answer your prayer and He will keep His promise to add upon your head blessings, enough and to spare. Those apparent prison walls of not enough time will begin to recede, even as you are called to do more." This was perfect for me since school starts in FIVE DAYS!

The next lesson was on a talk by Elder Holland called Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence. He talks about how before great moments, especially spiritual ones, there can be adversity, opposition, and darkness. He reminds us to not forget that it isn't over until it is over. All too often we have spiritual breakthroughs and then let our guard down and are overcome with trials we were not ready for. Satan will always come again, but he will always be defeated by the God of Glory. When we sign on for a moment of eternal significance it will be a fight, a good winning fight, but a fight. He says that in these instances, fear almost always plays a destructive, sometimes paralyzing role. Adversity can also be worry and fear, and only faith, hope, and charity can help overcome it. (Good thing I chose to go to FOL, right?!) He shared the story of the people crossing the Red Sea. Their faith was tested as they fought through self-doubts and second thoughts just as ours is today. They were seemingly free and on their way to the promised land until they saw the water in front of them. They could have panicked and given up. But as D&C 103:20 says, "Mine angels shall go up before you, and also my presence, and in time ye shall possess the goodly land." He says this goodly land applies to us as well. It is our promised land, Jerusalem, our own acre flowing with milk and honey, our future, our dreams, our destiny. "Cast not therefore away your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise (Hebrews 10:35-36)."

The last talk I will bore you with (I'm sorry. I just really enjoyed them!) was The Challenge to Become by Elder Oaks. He tells the parable of a wealthy father telling his son who had not yet developed the needed wisdom and stature to use his inheritance wisely that he could give what he had to his son, but what he was had to be obtained for himself. He would have to do this by living the way his father had, following his example, mastering what he had mastered, and becoming what he was. He compared this to us becoming like our Heavenly Father and being truly converted by the gospel. We must never stop striving because we are children of God, and it is possible for us to become what He would have us become. I learned that charity is something we become. It is a state of being. I know that is part of being a child of God. I need to work on that.

Now, FOL wasn't all lessons I taught. Tuesday, we followed the BYU tradition of having a devotional. A couple spoke, and asked the simple question, How will you lead? The sign outside of campus says, "Enter to Learn Go Forth to Serve." How will I lead? Will I be like the gold prospector who wanted a chunk of gold so discarded the small flakes that could have accumulated over time, or will I be like the three eighteen year old boys who carried the pioneers across the freezing Sweetwater River? Those that came before me did many great things giving me a noble birthright. I will lead with a legacy with small and simple acts of service that will lead to lifelong devotion, peace, and joy.

If you haven't stopped reading by now, I will get to the fun stuff. I had three boys in my group. Two crushed on me, and one crushed on me hardcore. He told me I was his COW or crush of the week. In reality, I was his COTD or crush of three days. Sorry friend, but you are a little young for me. This is the first year that I can say that! One of my participants from last year was a peer mentor this year and he teased me the whole time about being seventeen and so on... What a bum. Anyways, I'm still searching for #MrRight.

When going through the games and low ropes course, we did something called a trust fall. They wanted me to do it because I was the peer mentor. I couldn't let my fear stop me since I just taught a lesson on that, so I did it. You stand on something where your feet are level with everyone else's heads. They stand a certain way to catch you. The guy who worked at Aspen Grove was trying to teach me how to hold my arms, and they ended up just being a tangled mess. Dang my monkey arms. He looked at me and said, "Girl, you've got issues." He then looked at my group and said, "You guys follow this girl?!" Yep they do, and yep I have issues! Don't judge me. We ended Monday with the dance in which I was on passion patrol, I danced a little, and Mark (my co-peer mentor) walked around wearing a fish head.

Tuesday started off weird. We had waffles for breakfast. I'm not a huge fan. I don't mind the taste or texture. I hate the pattern. I don't know why. My day went on and got better even though it rained all day and my lion hair appeared. After a fun day and the musical program which was a little rough this year, we did the night adventure. We changed it this year since it was raining. We were inside and put our participants in a circle blindfolded and holding hands. We connected it to one of the lessons and said they were facing the Red Sea and being chased by the pharaoh's army. They could cross or let fear get the best of them and give up, but we asked if they were motivated to cross by fear of the army or faith in the Lord. We separated them and told them they let their fears get the best of them and now they were alone because everyone else had crossed. Mark and I sang I Am a Child of God, and after a minute or two we had them hold hands again and told them they were never alone. Christ had always been with them, and because of their faith the Red Sea had been opened again so they could cross. We took off their blindfolds and sat down. Every one of my chitlens bore their testimony. In thinking about my testimony, I thought of the Atonement. Christ would have gone through it if I were the only person on the earth. I thought about that more. That would mean I would have had to be the one to crucify him. My Savior would have forgiven me and suffered just for me. That amazed me.  There were some tears, and I could feel the Spirit like never before. I honestly felt like angles were sitting all around us.

Wednesday we got to break wood boards by karate chopping them. I love doing that. We write our goals for the year on one side and the fears that could keep us from accomplishing them on the other. Then, we face our fears and break through them. So much fun. After that, Vice President Scharman spoke at the closing session. She was super sassy. I have never seen her like that. At one point she said, "Haha I was right! Again..." She was cracking me up! She spoke about how our brain doesn't process don'ts. When we tell ourselves to not do something we practice it in our minds until we are really good at it, and then it happens. Like when we tell ourselves not to trip and we think of all the ways we could possibly trip, and then we end up tripping. She told us to focus on our strengths and what we know and to go from there. I thought that was a perfect end to the conference, but dancing and singing on the bus ride home was the best! I am so thankful I went. I feel better and stronger than I did before. I faced my fears, and it was totally worth it. I loved getting to see and talk to Angela, already miss my group, and cannot wait to see what I can do this year to apply some of what I learned!

The One About Being a Grown-up

There are days when you feel so grown-up. Like yesterday... I went to work, I spent time with a co-worker afterward just having fun. I picked up my textbooks for my classes this semester, I ran errands, and I got a new ID. Walking through the bookstore an older lady here for education week told me she loved my long hair absolutely loved the color. So cute. I love BYU because random people come to complement you all of the time. It makes you feel good when people do it to you and when you do it for others. It is times like these when you realize how much you really have changed since your freshman year. My short hair and baby face are things of the past. My fears of doing things alone, getting lost on campus, and not having my parents around are also long gone. I have learned how to live with people I don't know. I have actually gone on a few dates. I got involved on campus. I have a job. I can talk to random people without a second thought. My friends are getting married. My textbooks are more expensive. Friends from home are planning trips to come and see me at some point. I am so glad I have had the chance to grow up, and I love all of the fun times I have had on the way.

Two years ago, I came to BYU with my friend, Kaitlyn. Thank goodness I had her because that first year of being away from home was terrifying. When my parents told me to go into the room where they print your ID, I was scared because they would not be with me. They stood right outside, but I was still a nervous wreck going in there alone. This time I waltzed in like I owned the place. Getting to know my roommates was an adventure in and of itself. It turns out, I ended up loving them more than I ever thought I would when I stalked them on Facebook and drew my own conclusions from what I found. I mean look at us now! I am so thankful for the opportunity I have to live with them once again! Now, we are missing one... Do you know why? She is married! Yesterday she was the luckiest and is now living her happily ever after. Before the wedding I was super ornery, but when I saw how happy they were (even Emilee was amazingly happy with all of the stress of the wedding), I realized that it may have happened way too fast for my liking, but it was meant to be, and why waste time when you know you want to spend eternity with someone? Her and Ryan sure didn't! The reception was beautiful complete with doves, paper lanterns, crepes, and twinkle lights. Getting to see her in her princess gown and getting to take a picture with her and all of the roommates from freshman year (except Mak who came a little later), I just felt like this was right. I believe a congratulations is in order for Mrs. Emilee Draper! 

Getting home and having some girl talk with Meghan and Mak was the best. I miss my girls whether they are gone for a day or a whole semester. I really do love them. Going to work, I felt like it was so right. Nametag and BYU Alumni polo on, I looked official. I had better since I was the only one in the office today. Kind of scary and rough but I made through and felt empowered after. Last night during our girl talk, I decided I did need to be a real adult and go and talk with Andrew. We planned on going for frozen yogurt tonight. After work I stressed for a little bit about it, but I tried to not think about it too much. 5:15, the scheduled time, came and went, and he didn't tell me he was coming like he said he would. 5:30... 5:45... 6:00... 6:15. Then, I got the phone call. He had been held up at work. Again, I thought I needed to be an adult and forgive. We went and got some frozen yogurt. It was so awkward at first. Neither of us really knew what to say, but I realized both of us had changed, and after that we talked and laughed and everything seemed normal. I don't really know how I feel about all of it. It is so odd. At least now I can say that I talked to him and I won't feel weird when I run into him on campus or on one of the million trips to the BYUSA office I will have to make throughout the year. I am growing up. If you didn't notice by the ID picture, I hope when you talk to me you will recognize it. 

My summer is officially coming to a close. I bought my books, the sun is starting to disappear already, my tan lines are starting to fade, all of the roommates are back, and things are once again changing. FOL and NSO are next week. Am I ready? I don't know, but I am starting to get excited even though the freshmen participants have taken to comparing it to the Hunger Games. I'm a little worried, but I know it will be so much fun and the perfect spiritual lift.

 And, here is a little something for everyone's enjoyment. Here's to being a grown-up going into my junior/senior year of college.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance..."

Galatians 5: 22-23

Invictus

There is something beautiful about this poem. Every time I hear it I think of a dear friend. There is just so much truth hidden in these short paragraphs. "And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find me, unafraid.... I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." Life was never meant to be easy. It is challenging, rewarding, and exciting but never easy. The thing is, striving and achieving are part of our genetic make-up. They are how we learn to reach our divine potentials.

I heard this poem in a talk called "Running Down Your Dreams" by Brother Hank Smith. I am so thankful I had the chance to get to know him, and I owe a lot to him. In this talk he also talks about literally running down his dream of running a marathon. Then, in church today, one of the speakers also talked about running. He said when running it is hard to stay motivated if you only know you will stop at some point. He compared it to our lives. We know the end outcome we would like (residing in the celestial kingdom), but it can be hard to endure if we only see that. We need mile markers in our lives. What can I do today or this week to move me closer to this end goal? Who can I serve to grow closer to my Savior? So many people have served me in my life, and especially these past couple of weeks I realize how truly blessed I am. It is my turn. In our lesson last week at church there was a story about a nonmember who was going through a trial. He was talking to his mother on the phone when he saw the Relief Society sisters coming. He said, "Mother, it will be all right. The Mormon women are here." I am making it my goal for the month to let it be my turn to serve and help relieve others' trials. 

All of these running analogies have also reminded me of another poem. The first time I heard this I was younger, and another dear friend had come home early from his mission and been asked to give a talk. He read this poem and broke down into tears. I remember to this day the spirit I felt in that sacrament meeting when I heard this poem and connected it to my life. It goes like this:

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure's face, 

my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race. 

A children's race, young boys, young men; how I remember well, 

excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn't hard to tell. 

They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race

or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.

Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son, 

and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one. 

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire, 

to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy's desire. 

One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd, 

was running in the lead and thought, "My dad will be so proud."

But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,

the little boy who thought he'd win, lost his step and slipped. 

Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace, 

and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.

As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn't win it now. 

Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow. 

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face, 

which to the boy so clearly said, "Get up and win that race!"

He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that's all, 

and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall. 

So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win, 

his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again. 

He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.

"I'm hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn't try to race."

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father's face

with a steady look that said again, "Get up and win that race!"

So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last. 

"If I'm to gain those yards," he though, "I've got to run real fast!"

Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...

but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again. 

Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye. 

"There's no sense in running anymore! Three strikes I'm out! Why try?

I've lost, so what's the use?" he though. I'll live with my disgrace."

But then he thought about his dad, who soon he'd have to face.

"Get up," and echo sounded low, "you haven't lost at all, 

for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall. 

Get up!" the echo urged him on, "Get up and take your place!

You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!"

So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit, 

and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn't quit.

So far behind the others now, the most he'd ever been, 

still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win. 

Three times he's fallen stumbling, three times he rose again. 

Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end. 

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place, 

head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace. 

But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place, 

the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race. 

And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud, 

you would have thought he'd won the race, to listen to the crowd.

And to his dad he sadly said, "I didn't do so well."

"To me, you won," his father said. "You rose each time you fell."

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face, 

the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race. 

For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all. 

And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face, 

another voice within me says, "Get up and win that race!

We are the masters of our fate. We are the captains of our souls. We were not meant to fail. I thank my Heavenly Father for my unconquerable soul. We each have our own divine potentials, and it is my turn to show mine. I am so excited for this week/month/year. I wrote my grandparents a few weeks ago asking for advice. I told them I didn't care what it was about as long as it was from them to me. My grandma AND grandpa wrote me back giving me many little tid bits of their wisdom. One thing my grandma told me was to not run faster than I had strength. So perfect. In running my race I need to remember that my legs can only go so fast.

Mom May Question My Choices, but I Don't

My days have begun to run together even more than before now that summer is coming to a close. I will soon have to go and buy my textbooks, pay tuition, and go to renew my student ID. I continue to learn at work and may have a little (okay, a lot) of fun, but I am still an adventurer. I long to get out and try new things, have fun, and maybe have an adrenaline rush in the process. 

I actually went to Seven Peaks this week. It has been a long time. It was wonderful. Tuesday I was in a rotten mood. I don't know why, but even Mallory picked up on it when she got home from work. She went outside to paint and decorate a small movie set she needed for an international scavenger hunt she is doing. There was glitter involved, and I got showered in it. I am pretty sure heaven will have glitter. I was the happiest girl around being completely covered from head to toe in glitter. 

 

Wednesday I learned that I had to be out of my apt before Saturday morning. Considering I had things going on Thursday and Friday after work, I knew I needed to do it that night. So, I carried all of my things up the stairs making way too many trips but finally getting everything in my room. I woke up early Thursday morning to go to work. I was so sore! Work was great, but when it was over, the adventure began. I set off with Meghan and Julie Anne to Park City. It was on my summer bucket list to go, and I finally got to cross it off. We first went on the zipline. I will always love ziplining. Then to the Alpine Slide. We then made our way up and around the mountain to the ropes course. Remember how I told you I was sore from moving? I powered through the easier ropes course. Then, we decided to do the harder one. Holy cow. Every muscle in my body was crying in pain, but my face and heart were smiling. Swinging from rope to rope, walking on wires, and so much more made it all worth it. I love things like that! There is also what they call the Drop Tower there. You do a small zipline from one tower to another. Once on that second tower, the only way to get off is to free fall 65 feet. You just walk off the side of the tower (attached to a harness of course) and fall to the ground. I will admit, I almost killed the poor kid that was supposed to catch me. Oh well. After that we went on the zipline and slide one more time. Every penny was worth it. Adventure awaits. 

Then along came Friday. Sore muscles in tow, I went to work. This is what happened. According to Julie Anne's facebook post: "I think getting Taco Bell before Chick-fil-a may have been a little much." -Megan. That's how we do lunch on Fridays.

Yes, that is how we do lunch on Fridays. I love it when the office pays for lunch (it never happens apparently), and I think we deserved it after trying to organize the shared drive on the computer for the entire four hours we were there. Then my muscles and my brain hurt. I left work full of excitement. Alanna and I were going to the rope swings. Last time I went I loved it, but it was rainy and a little cold. Today was warm and sunny and I was so excited!!! Last time I only went on the lower platform. I jumped off that, a tree, the small rope, and the highest platform. The highest one made me want to pee my pants, and I let out a yelp when my arm got caught by the rope as I was falling into water more than 25 feet below me. 

I did it, it was a blast. Here is a video of other people doing it. Now you can see how high it is. I'm not exaggerating. 

I have some bumps, bruises, burns, and sore muscles from the past couple of days. I was talking to my mom and said, "I didn't die." Apparently I said that yesterday as well which she pointed out, and then said, "I'm beginning to question your choices." I honestly just want to have fun these last couple of weeks of my summer. Adventure awaits. 

Also, I just want to express my love for BYU. When I was leaving work the other day, Brother Cox, the associate dean of students, turned around saw me, and was like, "Hi, Megan! How are you? Are you taking classes this semester?" He knew me. Another day I ran into Dean Heperi. He is from New Zealand and the Dean of Students and the Associate Student Life Vice President. I smiled, said Kia Ora (pronounced key-ora). It is how you say hello in the Māori language. He taught us how to say it at FOL, and I only remember the word when I see him. He smiled back and wrapped me in a huge hug. One day on a run to the bookstore for work I ran into Vice President Scharman. She said hello to me calling me by name. I also saw President Samuelson today. I said hello to him, he gave me a thumbs up like he does in basketball games like such a good sport when we make free throws and yell, "Whoosh, Cecil!" He then talked to me like we were best friends. I love how the administration here remembers my name. I am not lost in the crowd of students. That is important to me. It can be hard being so far away from home, but these leaders on campus make my university a great place to call my second home. Thank you to Dean Heperi, Brother Cox, President Samuelson, Vice President Scharman, and all others at BYU for your wonderful leadership. I am thankful to be able to go to a university under you all.