A Future with Hope

 Jeremiah 1:5 says - "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee..." 

Isn't it comforting to know Heavenly Father knew us before all of this? He knew our character, our personality, how we felt. He KNEW us. 

This year has been quite the whirlwind for me. I moved out of my cute apartment back in with my parents to save for a house (something that was quite impossible to do while living in the middle of Dallas). I worked with a boss who was nothing more than a bully. I went on vacation one week to come back and be told I was moving to a different department because of said boss. This was so hard to hear. I felt like I had done something wrong in reporting her behavior. I felt that I was leaving the volunteers, who in the past year I had given my all to, behind and defenseless. I felt cheated that I had to move when absolutely nothing was happening to the bully. 

But, before I went into the meeting where I was told I would be moving, I said a prayer. I had had an eerie feeling following me the past couple of days. I prayed for comfort and that whatever was supposed to happen would happen. 

He knows me. He knew I would have a difficult time with this. He made sure I was moved after a wonderful, relaxing vacation up to Washington and not on a super stressful day at work. He made sure I was comforted before the meeting. Then, he gave me time to work through my confusion. He waited for me to reach back out to Him. When I did (it took me much longer than it should have), He was there to show me why I needed to be where I was. 

I am now in the Special Events department. I plan and coordinate events, I work with community groups coming in for events as well as coming in for patient visits, I work with Child Life, I work with the volunteers who sign up for events, and I manage the Gift Shop. 

All of my experience over the years has come to this moment. I am able to reach out to my contacts, I am able to bring new contacts in or re-connect with others I had worked with in the past. I can use my Child Life knowledge in planning appropriate activities and events without stepping on toes. I still get to interact with my volunteers and be there for them just in a different setting. 

I never imagined... a Political Science major would turn to Family Life major (Social Work) while working with leadership groups on campus planning events would turn to Child Life would turn to Volunteer Management would turn to this. 

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope."

Each and every day my new director tells me I am meant to be here. I have different skills than the others. I have different knowledge (even of this hospital that I am still fairly new to). She tells me how much they needed me. She tells me what a great fit I am. It is so odd to hear after the past year that I have had where nothing I did was right and I was clearly not wanted or approved of. 

I am so thankful that I have such a loving Father in Heaven to watch out for me. To make plans for me (even though sometimes I fight them or don't understand them at first). I am thankful He is there for my welfare and never to do me harm. I am thankful He is there to give me a future with HOPE. 

Fingerprints

I love my new job. In a time of my life when I have felt so invisible and so out of place for so long, I have finally found a place that feels like home. I smile driving in as a security guard waves to welcome me each morning. I smile leaving knowing I worked hard and spent time with amazing people. People know me. They know my name. I can bounce from one volunteer to another and laugh and learn and have riveting conversations. A couple other staff members even address me as a social butterfly--something I have never been called in my life. People appreciate me. I belong. I have found my place. 

Now, not all days are perfect. My director and I don't always see eye-to-eye, and sometimes she is not particularly kind to me. I was so excited to be able to hire a new volunteer coordinator. I was excited for the help, but more importantly I was excited that it was my choice. I was going to be able to find someone right for the team and someone that I could have a comradery with. I have missed having someone in the office to talk to or someone to have lunch with more than anything. I miss the friendship. And, it was going to be MY CHOICE since I was the hiring manager! It ended up not actually being my choice, and I feel extremely uneasy about who was chosen. 

I heard someone say the other day to stop looking for God's hand in your life and start looking for His fingerprints. I had prayed so hard that they would not hire this girl. To be honest, I was beyond disappointed when they told me to put out an offer to her. I hadn't seen the hand I was hoping to see. My voice hadn't been heard even though I put myself out there multiple times to express my opinions and concerns. But, as I sat in sadness one evening I came across the following quote. 

This was a fingerprint. Proof that He is there in all things. He is there as we walk through our life journeys. He is there always. I can change the world. It won't be a big change, but it will be a change nonetheless. I can take this new challenge in stride and learn from my experiences just as I have in the other circumstances I have been placed in. I will continue to lead through my example. I will smile and go through each day with joy. I am thankful for this fingerprint. It was the reminder I needed.

Look for the fingerprints, my friends. 

Christmas Prayer

Christmas was weird this year. It wasn't bad, but it was weird. We were travelling for Ryan's wedding the week of, Ryan wasn't home, it was so quiet, I am still adjusting to my new job... Need I say more? It just didn't feel like Christmas. Even as Christmas came along. 

But, this was all on me. I had forgotten to focus on the true meaning of Christmas. I forgot my Savior amongst all of the craziness of shopping, reception planning, and worrying about my flights and the events going on at work. 

Christmas Day we all gather at my grandparents' house for Christmas dinner. Before our meal, we always say a prayer. My grandpa said the prayer this year. He is losing his memory, so you never quite know what you are going to get with his prayers anymore (one day he prayed like someone had died and it kind of scared the rest of us there), but his prayer this year really struck me. I wrote part of it down as soon as he finished. He prayed "that we may remember WHO we are and WHAT we are." All of the Christmas spirit that I had been missing rushed into me, bringing tears to my eyes. His simple testimony that we are all sons and daughters of God helped me remember what Christmas was really all about.

Christmas isn't about the traffic, the trees, the presents, or the decorations. Christmas is a time to come closer to our Savior. Christmas is a time to truly remember Him as we finish out the old year and get ready to start a new. Christmas is a time to begin thinking about resolutions you would like in the coming year. So, if you don't have a resolution or would like a new one (because your resolution to exercise every day or eat healthy is already out the window), I invite you to use my grandpa's prayer. Remember who you are and what you are. 

You are a beloved son or daughter of God.