Living Proof

Sometimes you just need a time out. Now, I'm not talking about putting a kid in the corner, although I was put in the corner of our office at work. I am talking about a break. There is a lot of drama in life. It comes from work, home, and friends as well as the inner struggle you have with yourself every single day. I have come to accept that there is no better place for a time out than that of General Conference or Time Out for Women. Good thing we have the latter once a year in Texas because it came at the most opportune time. It is when a rather large group of women gather together to laugh, listen to uplifting music, and hear wonderful speakers. Speakers such as Hank Smith, Brad Wilcox, Meg Johnson, Mary Cook, and Lisa Valentine Clark did not disappoint this year. Yes, I got to hear a beloved former teacher, a member of the Young Women General Presidency, the sister of a Project Runway designer (for 2 seasons), and so many other wonderful people speak this weekend. It was just what I needed.

 I am not going to bore you with all that I learned because let's face it, what connected with me may not connect with you. We are all going through different stuff (there's a lot to go through). I will say, seeing Brother Smith and getting to talk to him made my week. I look up to him. I admire that he is so happy and makes people laugh and is willing to talk and lift you up when you need it most. He did that for me my freshman year of college when I was missing home and barely making it through my first real winter. Today he showed genuine interest in what I was doing with my life and told me I had grown up and looked beautiful. At a time when I don't usually feel beautiful and feel inadequate in most that I do, it was really nice to see a familiar, smiling face and hear the person that I admire so much tell me I looked beautiful. The best part was, I felt beautiful. I could feel the sparkle. The sparkle that has seemed to dull lately--as my clothes get tighter, school gets harder, and the stress of work and the other aspects of my life that aren't quite the way I would like them to be--was shining bright (like a diamond!).

At a time when people laugh about Pinterest fails, trying to be perfect, and so much more that women struggle with I thought about being at home. I may not have been able to make a bunch of friends or learned to enjoy the single's ward or go back to BYU, but I have learned how to cook quite well, I have a puppy that I absolutely adore, and I have been able to do a lot of things I probably wouldn't have been able to in Utah. So, I may not know why I am supposed to be here, but I know I am. And to all the people who have been a positive influence in my life, Thank You. You are living proof to me that some angels physically walk beside us to love and help us on our individual journeys through this mortal life.

Sunday Funday

It's been a long time since I have done this, and I know exactly why. All of my insecurities about the single's ward have really made me question what I believe in. I know that sounds so silly, but it's true. Trying times, you know? For a while it was so hard for me to go to church. The feeling of not fitting in anywhere overwhelmed me to the point where I contemplated even just going to a park or sitting in my car for three hours so I could drive home and pretend everything was okay. The only thing that has truly kept me going to church is my testimony of the Gospel and my Savior, Jesus Christ.

On this beautiful Sunday, I would like to share my testimony. It may not matter to you, and you certainly don't have to read it. This is more for me. This is what matters to me, keeps me going, and what has helped shape me into the strong, beautiful woman I am today. It is a simple testimony, but it is all mine.

I have a testimony of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. I know He loves me, and I am so thankful for the Atonement which gives me a chance to live with Him once again. I am thankful that He was willing to go through all that pain for me. I know that He not only suffered for my sins but all of my infirmities as well. He has made all the difference in my life. I am thankful that He gave me the chance to repeatedly try again and pick myself back up when I fall. With Him I am never and will never be alone. With Him I am made whole.

I believe in the priesthood. I know of its divine power, and I am thankful for the boys in my life that are worthy to have the priesthood and act on the duties that come with it. I am thankful for priesthood ordinances which leads me to the temple. I am thankful for the temple. I know the ordinances performed in the temple for ourselves as well as our loved ones that have passed on were divine revelations to the prophets. I am thankful that I was able to go through the temple, and I know I will continue to learn from it as long as I remain worthy and continue to attend. I know those saving ordinances for the dead keep me close to loved ones on the other side whether I know them or not, and I know I have angels attending me at all times.

I am thankful for forever families. Knowing that no matter what happens on this earth, in the eternities I will be with my family forever brings me a kind of comfort that I cannot fully explain. I will never have to worry whether or not I will see my family again. I know I will. I know that if we keep the commandments, we will be able to pass through the veil and live through the eternities together. Forever.

I know there is a living prophet on the earth today. I know he and his apostles are called of God, and I know they lead the church by revelation from our Heavenly Father. I know they devote their lives including their times and talents to the church by serving others and making sure we are always on the path that leads back to our Heavenly Father, and I am so thankful to them for that.

I know the Church is true. I know that Joseph Smith, even though just a young boy was a prophet of God. I know that with the help of Heavenly Father, he restored the true church on the earth. I know that even though I have a hard time at the single's ward and I am sarcastic about it a lot that it is still the only completely true church today. I know the difference it makes in my life. People of the church truly are happier because we believe in service, love, and we have the Gospel in our lives.

I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon. Ever since reading it when I was little, I have felt that it is true. I don't think that I had a testimony that was completely mine until my second year of college when I studied it on my own and prayed about it, and just like Moroni promised in the end, I felt with a surety that it was true. No uneducated farm boy could write that on his own. The translation of that book was divinely inspired, and I know that those events really happened, those people really lived, and that book is really really true. If you read it, actually read it, and pray about it, I promise you that you will feel the same way.

I have a testimony in the power of prayer. Prayer is what brings you and your Heavenly Father closer to one another. He hears, and He answers your prayers. I know that sometimes it takes a while or the answer is not one you want, but an answer always comes.

I have a testimony that I am a child of God.  I am His daughter. He loves me. He knows me by name. He knows everything I am going through at any given time, and He waits for me to call for His aid when I need help. He knows who I am, but most importantly, He knows who I can become. I know He smiles when He thinks of what He has in store for me, and I cannot wait to see. I am thankful for all of the blessings He has bestowed on me. I am thankful for all of the talents He has given me. I am thankful for the life I live as well as the life that is to come, and I hope I can live up to my full potential.

I know these things are true with all my heart. I will continue to learn, grow, and build my testimony, but I am thankful that I have this foundation to build upon. So much is in store for me and for all of us. There are so many promises waiting to be fulfilled based on our faithfulness.

That's my testimony. Like I said, it is a small one, but here are a few quotes from prophets and apostles of the church who have testimonies far greater than mine.

Single's Ward in Memes

Week after week I have adventure after adventure at the single's ward. I even ventured out to an activity. Be impressed, everyone. So, here are a few pics that pretty much sum everything up. 

 I don't understand boys. I just don't. It's a long story.

 There are A LOT of awkward silences. So, I think about potatoes a lot. 

 After getting home I look for the worst thing for me in the fridge/pantry. The anxiety is higher than ever.

 But really.

 People always try to force me in to doing things. Yeah no. That makes me want to do whatever it is even less than before.

 Like I said, the anxiety level is through the roof up in here up in here. 

 I am doing something with my life, but I'm kind of not. Maybe tomorrow...

 I want friends and think I will find them in the ward. Then I go and see the people, and I'm like, "Please don't talk to me. Please don't talk to me."

 Yeah. Story of my life. Why are all of the cute guys SO SHORT?

 Yeah. Sarcasm on full force. Please forgive me. 

 As mentioned before... 

 And again...

There you go, folks! Until next time at single's ward!!

The Big 80, Be(Utah)ful, and Thriving

Okay! Here we go again! 

My grandma turned 80! I love her, and I am so excited we were able to celebrate with her in between her trips to North Carolina. She is the cutest, and seeing her with her family on her special day somehow made her even cuter. The chicken was honestly the worst thing I ever tried to swallow which I felt bad about since she is such a great cook, but she did not seem to mind. I also got to do the flower arrangements for her, and that was extra special and fun for me!

 This summer I have been on six airplane rides. Luckily, I made the last two (and the last for hopefully a while) to go see Meghan get married. Utah trip 2. Meghan and I became really good friends our freshman year of college. I came back for summer semester, and it was just the two of us. Over the years I cannot tell you how many times we went to Seven Peaks, sang Maroon 5 songs, ate way more than we should have, had movie nights, and went for Jamba Juice. Freshman year she started yelling, "I'm coming to your wedding!" Ever since then it has been a running joke, so I could not miss her wedding! She was beautiful and so, so happy. Her sealing was spiritual in the beautiful Bountiful temple with her grandpa doing the sealing. Her luncheon was hilarious with a surprise song from her new in-laws about her and David's relationship. Her reception was magical in a little fairy garden. It was a long day, but I would not have traded that time with her for anything. Oh how I love my other half. Being back at BYU was pretty great too, even if it was just for a short while. I was there exactly a year from the day I graduated. Seeing all of the recent grads with their families made me smile. So much has happened in a year. When I was on campus I had to get one of those divinely decadent BYU mint brownies and go see Angela from BYUSA. It was good to catch up with her. Later that day I also got to go get Thai food with Jan and then sit in the park with her and eat our mint brownies. That trip was seriously hard to top.

 Work has been crazy. We have had a lot going on, and now we are starting on Halloween and Christmas planning. Insane, I know. Good thing, last Friday we took the day and had a little celebration for our engineering crew to say thank you for all they do for us. We had a dips and desserts party for them, and as a bonus, our director said we could wear jeans and college shirts to work! I carried on Spirit Friday and wore my BYU blue! We are a good looking bunch.

Last thing for now, I started grad school. Not only did I start grad school, but I am now halfway through my first semester! It is a lot of work, but that is to be expected. It will be worth it, and I am enjoying it so far! Luckily, I have good friends and the cutest puppy to get me through work and school. I went to spend time with Ashley a couple times before she left for school, and I got to go to lunch with Emily before she left for Idaho. Courtney is here for student teaching, so hopefully I will get to see her soon as well. And, Miss Vivien. She is such a champ as I work for hours on school. Thank goodness for her!

The following picture is because I'm still in the Utah frame of mind and think it should be fall by now. Happy September everyone!

What Month is It?

It is now September, and I just realized I am the worst daughter ever. This post does not count as my monthly post because it is so long overdue. 

So, I have this wonderful dad. He is the one who doesn't get all the credit he deserves. He is the one who buys me candy without mom knowing and tells me to hide it before she gets home. He makes sure I try harder to be better and picks me up when I fall. He reminds me that I can do anything but I cannot do everything, and he tells me to take a deep breath and let things go sometimes. He has always watched out for me throughout my life. He lets me vent to him when I have a rough day at work (I'm sure most of the time he is just thinking how dramatic girls are). He risked his life when he helped me practice my softball pitch, he has become an even bigger BYU fan than I am (if that is even possible), and he tells helps me not be afraid to dream a little bigger. He's always there when I need to talk, and he is always so patient and objective. When I am overwhelmed in the moment, he helps me see the bigger picture. When I am sad, he is there to comfort. Most importantly, when I am happy he is there to share the moment with me. I am so thankful for my dad even though I'm a loser and forgot to post this on Father's Day. What am I saying? I always appreciate my dad, so I am breaking away from the cliche and choosing today to recognize him. Love you dad, and I can't wait for our next daddy/daughter date!!

P.S. Thanks for picking out the best puppy for me! 

P.P.S. I always give you a hard time because I love you. A lot.