With Each Word and Action We Testify

There are constant reassurances in my life that my Heavenly Father knows me. He knows what I want, and he knows what I need. I went on a date Friday night. I know all of you are laughing because I always say that I never get asked out. It is a real fear of mine that I may never get married because I never go on dates. Well, right when I get to the peak of my panic, I am asked out on a date. I should be fine for a while now, but I am going on another date this Thursday. Now I am laughing at myself. The date was so fun though. Seriously. I needed that. Then today, there was the General Women's Meeting. It was beautiful. I learned a few things. Women need women. We need the deep, satisfying, and loyal relationships with one another. We need to love one another MORE as well as to love one another BETTER. I especially liked President Eyring's talk. He said trials, tests, and opportunities are chosen just for you, and Heavenly Father's plan helps us navigate through them. With that help, we can help others through theirs. The journey through life is too hard without help, but with help we can feel the joy as we journey back home. Lastly, as we move up the pathway towards our potential we bring about God's approval. In one of the talks, we were asked what it means to us to be a disciple of Christ. I thought about that a lot for the rest of the night and into Sunday. I will tell you part of my testimony that is ever-changing and ever-growing. I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. I know that if I put my trust in my Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost I will be able to choose the right path. I know some wrong paths will be disguised as opportunities in my life, but with a little help, I will be able to navigate through them. I do not know where life will take me, but I will find joy in the journey. I know that happiness comes from the light of Christ radiating in my life. I know that to make a difference in the world, I have to be different from the world. I am trying to do that by living the gospel of Christ. I know that my part matters because I matter to my Heavenly Father. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. I am proud to be a Mormon. I am thankful for the scriptures and how I can learn from them no matter how many times I read them. I am so thankful for a living prophet on the earth today, and I am thankful that I can consistently learn from him and his apostles. With that being said, I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be here at BYU. I get to "run into" the apostles quite often. Today, it was Elder Bednar. He taught me something, as apostles usually do. He said, "You can be prepared for life, but you're never in control of it." He went on to tell us that we are not in charge, our Heavenly Father is. We need to act, not be acted upon. When we act, we are acting on opportunities given to us by our Heavenly Father. It was a magical morning. I needed to hear exactly what he had to say. It's funny how things work out like that... 

Sweet is the Peace the Gospel Brings

Sometimes people you love die before you were ready. This is a post I have been thinking about for a long time, but I have been too scared to write. I think it is time now. I feel like a lot of dear people in my life have passed away lately. I haven't experienced the death of someone close to me before, and has been harder than I ever imagined. The day before and the day Fenway died, I could not do anything but cry. Full of emotions that I did not know how to express, I just leaked. All the time. I feel like in a way that prepared me. During fall semester I got a text from one of my friends. Her mom was dying. Her mom was so strong. She did everything for her girls. And sometimes me. Multiple sleepovers, girls camps, young women activities, and Primary lessons were only a few of the dear memories I had with her. That text from my friend paralyzed me. I could not even walk the rest of the way to class. I sat down and tried to process things for a little while. She fought hard, but sometimes something bad has to happen for something better to come along. Her three girls have a stronger relationship with their dad now. Not too much longer my mom told me that Sister Lear had died. She had always lived just up the street from us. She was the sweetest little lady, and I loved getting to see her when we went back to visit the DeSoto ward. She had a brightness about her. It was in her eyes, in her smile. I loved her. I still do. On New Year's Eve we got news that my great grandma had died. I don't remember much about her before she went into the nursing home, but I remember a few things. She always had a soft voice, she joked even the last time I saw her, and she loved puzzles. I like to think I got my love of puzzles from her. Every time I do a puzzle now I smile and think of her. The sadness I saw my mom experience was difficult for me to see. A couple weeks ago I learned that another dear friend, Brother Yates had died. He was just the sweetest old man. The one who loved fried pies and my hats. He loved everyone, and everyone loved him. When his sweet wife died a few years back he hoped he wouldn't be far behind. I guess that is true love. I am so glad they can be together again. In class last week we were going over how death affects families and how they can be resilient through that type of stressor. My teacher brought tissues to class. That is a bad sign. He was evil. He had us write a family member's name on a piece of paper. I put Ryan. He was the first one I thought of. I wish I hadn't. He then told us that person had died unexpectedly, but we could write them one letter. I had to fight back the tears. It was awful. I hope with all of my heart that I die before that boy. I love him so much, and it hurts my heart to even think about having to say goodbye to him for real. Luckily, I have the gospel in my life. It doesn't make it less hard, but at least I know that when I have to say goodbye to my family I will be able to see them again one day. I am so thankful for eternal families. I am thankful that my parents are worthy members of the church and were sealed to each other when they were married. I am thankful and hopeful that one day I will be able to be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity to my husband so we can have an eternal family. I am thankful for the people in my life who have showed me how to live a happy life. A few secrets to happiness I have learned from them include love, family, the gospel, compassion, humor, and friends. Those are pretty great things.

Little Miss Sunshine and Little Miss Sassafras

This week was full of activities, assignments, meetings, things for my internship, tests, speakers, etc. I have never been so excited for a Friday as I was today. My graduation application was accepted. Scary. Things just got real. Really real. This week I feel like I spent the entire time running. I always had somewhere to be or something to do. Tuesday was really my only relief. I told my boss that I could not go to devotional, and I got two free hours to work on homework and do laundry. I was completely exhausted by Thursday evening, and when I am tired I get sassy. One day my boss teasingly told me not to sass him. Then he looked at me and laughed because he said I wouldn't be able to talk if I didn't sass. He knows me too well. After leaving class early, I went to a lecture and while listening to that I did  a homework assignment and studied for a test. Multi-tasking at its finest. I didn't get home until close to nine, but I stayed up to spend time with Jan. After a test the next morning I went to work. There, 100 sunshine yellow balloons were delivered, and I tied them to my desk. How could it not be a great day?! Sunshine yellow is everywhere right now. It is spring, and with spring comes the sunshine yellow bushes on campus. I love them. Also, sunshine! Real sunshine is back! Hopefully it is here to stay this time. It's officially spring, and I kind of wanted to hibernate this weekend to catch up on some sleep. Too bad that didn't happen. This was the first weekend in a long time in which I did not spend the entire time doing homework and writing papers. Saturday I went to the mall with Kaitlyn. We picked these outfits that we would absolutely never wear including cropped tank tops and metallic leggings. We had so much fun, and of course we took the selfies in the mirror. We're cool kids. We know. We did end up getting really cute outfits at other stores though. When we got home it was absolutely beautiful outside (it was 55 degrees!). Do you know what that means? Picnic!! I had a picnic with Jan and Julie Anne. Julie and I polished off a large pan of nachos, and then we played frisbee. Because we have all been cooped up in our apartment our skills are a little rusty. It could have also been all of the food... We came home and cleaned up before Jan and I went on a walk. Then we came home to finish our Harry Potter marathon. It only took a month. Somehow after we both showered and looked like hobos boys ended up coming over. Remember what I said happens when I get tired? Those boys were over until late and so they got the full blast of my sass. Even without make-up and curled hair it comes. Today I am going to church in my new outfit. Happy Sunshiny Sunday, everyone! 

Pictures from My Latest Adventures

Brain Dead

Tuesday after classes I got to talk to Eric on the phone. It felt good to smile or laugh the entire way home. I am so thankful that even though he is married we can still talk. I am so thankful to have a friend like him in my life no matter how weird other people think our relationship is. This week was a little crazy, and I loved getting that break. Monday I spent three hours in orientation for my internship at the Division of Child and Family Services. I am so excited. Wednesday I went to the temple with Meghan and got to do family names for these two little old women there. They were so cute!
Thursday! Kaitlyn invited me to a Women in Business event. Guys, I wish I could express my excitement here. I am just so tired right now, and no matter what I said I wouldn't be able to do it justice. I met Sister Dalton. I saw her in her glorious sunshine yellow blazer, and my mouth fell open and quickly formed a gigantic smile. She made eye contact with me with my mouth still gaping open. She said hello to me, and I am pretty sure I stopped breathing for a moment. Then, she shook my hand! Ah!!!! I was so happy. Kaitlyn and I got seats on the third row, but we soon got up and took a picture with Sister Dalton. I thought I was happy before... Not even close. I couldn't stop smiling. And... I got to hug her. I am pretty sure that my love for Sister Dalton will be as close as I will ever get to idol worship, and let me tell you it's pretty close. Her words were amazing. The rest of the event couldn't even compete. The event did make me think though... If I were a little smarter, I would get my Master's in business. Too bad.
I finally applied for graduation. I also scheduled a meeting with my advisor so they can approve my application. With that application in, I was invited to an event called Senior Celebration and a luncheon for the School of Family Life graduates in which my most influential teachers are invited. I also scheduled a haircut (I've never gotten one in Utah so it was a big deal). I got tickets to see Elizabeth Smart speak in a couple weeks. I missed her when she spoke a week or so ago, and I wasn't going to miss it this time. I am excited to hear her. At work at I had to run to the BYUSA office. I ran into Angela. Boy do I miss her. It was nice to get to talk to her for a minute and awkwardly give her a side hug since I had numerous black lights in my arms at the moment. I really do need to make it a priority to go in and actually talk to her. I haven't seen her since August.
You know how Friday is supposed to be date night? Well, instead of going on a date I gave a two hour class on marriage enrichment to couples. My capstone project is mostly done. I created the program from theory and research and practiced it. All I have to do now is write up a paper on it. I survived! After working on a powerpoint for hours this morning I have given up. I am exhausted. I should get out and do something fun since it is the weekend, but I am so dang tired!
Honestly, can I be done now? 39 days until I am home. 44 days until I am twenty. 151 days until graduation. 

Whoosh, Cecil!

There is a level of admiration, dedication, and respect that goes along with being at BYU that cannot be matched. Today in devotional we had two General Authorities come to speak to us. The first, spoke lovingly about his days at BYU, the importance of his wife to him and the eternal love he had for her, and the power of the Holy Ghost in our lives. That was a beautiful talk, and I almost wished it could have gone on longer. When he sat down, President Eyring stood at the podium. With a smile, he stood and spoke of the service that President Cecil Samuelson and his wife have given for eleven years. We all knew what was coming. Quickly looking at Sister Samuelson, I saw tears welling in her eyes, and they quickly came to mine. As President Eyring released President Samuelson from duty, it was all I could do to keep the tears from dropping into my lap. President and Sister Samuelson have done an amazing job, and I am proud to say I was at BYU during their service. As President Eyring finished what he had to say (calling a new president) and sat down, the Marriott Center was completely silent. There was not a cough or a sniffle. Even the typing of reporters had stopped. The closing prayer was said, and BYU students amazed me once again. Everyone stood and with a reverence that, as I have said before, could only be witnessed at BYU gave President and Sister Samuelson a standing ovation. President Samuelson who had stayed stone-faced thus far gave in and the tears came to him as well, so I don't feel as bad about my tears. I will never forget that moment. The moment that you think would take away the spirit from the room but only expounded upon it. The moment when nothing and everything changed for BYU. I will always love, respect, and admire the Samuelsons. I am so thankful for them. I know President Worthen will do an outstanding job as well, but I am glad I could be here when the Samuelsons were. So, President and Sister Samuelson, Cecil and Sharon, thank you. Thank you for upholding the standards of this university that I love so much. Thank you for dedicating your lives to it even though you were University of Utah graduates. Thank you for looking out for the students here. Thank you for watching out for me. Thank you for the devotionals, luncheons, tickets to the President’s Box for the Texas game, and of course for letting us yell, “Whoosh, Cecil!!” at the basketball game with the players made a free throw. Thank you for all you did, and thank you for being you.

Oscars: For the Win

I love the Oscars. I never actually watch them, but I love watching the recaps and looking at all of the pictures with the beautiful dresses. Here are a few of my favorites for a fashionable Friday! 

 Almost as outrageous as Lady Gaga's dress, yet somehow she still pulls it off and looks great. 

 Oh my so beautiful. Flowing, icy, beauty. 

 Different but elegant. 

 J Law. I love her. And her fiery peplum dress. 

 Sandra Bullock... Can I just say she will be beautiful and classy (and probably sassy) until the day she dies? 

 Kate Hudson. I think she may have been the winner of the evening. Wow. 

And last but not least, Julia Roberts. Who doesn't love a classic black dress?! 

Here is my favorite performance of the evening. The song. The dress inspired by the ruby slippers. Heaven.

Listen to it here! Sorry, I couldn't find a good video of it.

But guys, let's not forget the true star of the show this year. As beautiful as everyone was, only one could give a ten minute monologue making everyone laugh the entire time with her sarcasm, order pizza, go around asking for money to tip the pizza boy, come out at one point wearing a "Glinda the Good" costume, miss one of her cues, pop up between Sandra Bullock and Leo DiCaprio and have both of them bust up laughing, and of course, crash Twitter with a single selfie that was retweeted over 13 million times. Dear Ellen. The more I see of her the more I love her. I don't necessarily approve of what she stands for, but she is funny.

Thoughts on a Thursday

I know this is a couple days late, but I said I would talk about my Social Work class. We talked about what it takes to be a social worker. You have to be compassionate, without judgment, patient, knowledgeable, confident, roll with resistance, have set boundaries, be passionate about the work, have a sense of humor, be fun, energetic, creative, optimistic, and hopeful, and know how to take care of yourself and unwind. I loved what we learned in that class. It reminded me of two scriptures. Matthew 25:40 where it says "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." It also reminded me of D&C 18:15 where it says if "you bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!" I get to help and work with wonderful people and maybe not share the gospel with them but give them another chance! 

On Tuesday we had another wonderful devotional. In the song "I am a Child of God" the child pleas singing, "lead me, guide me, walk beside me." The speaker said that it isn't really a child's plea but a prayer each of us have in our hearts. She referred to D&C 112:10. Go read it. She said we just need to look up when we are in need of help because angels seen and unseen are there to help. She also mentioned that promptings are quiet and unobtrusive and we have to listen AND obey to be led and guided. I loved her talk. I even took notes this week!

In class later that day our teacher made the profound statement that the Lord loves broken things. A broken cloud brings rain that nourishes the ground, broken ground brings wheat, broken wheat brings bread that nourishes us, broken bread reminds us of the sacrament to bring us closer to Christ, and broken hearts help us come unto Christ. I was amazed. 

On Wednesday, I got to go to the temple with Meghan. It was amazing that instead of cancelling our trip since we couldn't go on Friday, we rescheduled and no one was there. We were the only ones there. It was beautiful. We even had time to have hot chocolate together afterwards before we went our separate ways. It felt good. 

Here is a thoughtful post on Thursday. Tomorrow I will post yet another late post on the Oscars because they were amazing with all of the dresses and glitz and glam. Be prepared for a fashion Friday post! 

Letting It Go Isn't Always Easy

I have to really be having fun to "let it go" and be my best. Sometimes I can't when I am with people I don't know, but when I am with friends it is so easy. I am not the only one! Idina Menzel did a less than stellar Oscar performance, but after when having fun she "let it go" for real. 

Here is her Oscar performance. Although still beautiful, we all know this Broadway star did not reach her maximum potential. But this blew my mind.... 

Of Farkle, Spray Butter, and Sweet Kisses

Sorry for my disappearance... I had so much to do last week, and this weekend was just insane. I honestly do not remember my Friday night. At all. I just remember being up until two in the morning. Saturday I worked on research papers. Yes, you read correctly. That was plural. By six in the evening I was braindead. Oh! I know what I did Friday! Jan and I started a Harry Potter marathon. So, Saturday we finished #2 and started #3. Then David and his roomate came over and we switched to 17 Again. Bad choice. I was tired and grumpy, and that was a terrible movie. Dave and Jan laughed at me the whole time. Rude. At midnight when I finally got to change out of my jeans I felt much better. Then, it was Sunday. Sundays are supposed to be a day of rest. Why do I have sore abs once again after another Sunday? Well, let me tell you. First off, Ashley's friend from Mexico came to church with us. He has no filter and said whatever came to his mind. So darn funny. At church Dave sat with us the whole time. Random? In between two classes, the first counselor of the bishopric came over to talk to us. After about 30 seconds there was an awkward silence. He says, "So..." as he kind of ducks down, turns, and walks away. What? After church we had break the fast. I made 15 scrambled eggs, you guys. Wow. Then Jake came and sat with us. He may be the cutest boy in the ward. He felt my pants like everyone else wanted to since they have a cool pattern, offered to get me more food, and laughed with us. So great. Also, at one point Jan had gone to get cups for us. Two of them were stuck together, and no matter how hard the boys tried they could't get them apart. I got them apart right away. The boys' pride was gone. After break the fast Dave came over to play Canasta. Who plays that? We ended up playing Farkle instead. I am not sure which is worse. So funny. We ate some banana bread that Jan made, but we didn't have soft butter. So, we used spray butter. Dave's face was indescribable. Ward prayer was next. I didn't know a ton of people there (sad, I know)  so I sat with Jan on the couch. Dave said I looked miserable and asked if I would feel better if he sat by me. I guess? So he did most of the time. After the prayer, the oddest boy in the ward came and sat cross-legged in front of us. It was remarkably hard to carry on a conversation with him. I quickly felt awkward and didn't know what to say or do. Thank goodness we had to go soon. Jan and I came home to just laugh about our day. Another knock on the door startled us. When Jan answered it, someone had written us a nice note. Instead of giving us the note and leaving, Garrett stays to introduce himself. Jan freezes so I talk to him while he is still standing outside and she is holding the door partially open. She finally comes to and says, "Sorry, I couldn't make this more awkward." He politely responds with, "Probably not." We hear a laugh from downstairs. Who is it but Jake. They then came in to eat some cookies we had made and start giving us decorating ideas. Hold up. What is going on? I talked to them the whole time. When they left Jan couldn't believe how much I had talked when she was the one that froze. I don't really know either. When they left Jan and I ate chips with different flavors of BBQ sauce such as "slappin' hot" and "sweet kisses" as well as no bake cookies. As we sat and laughed at the table we marveled over the weirdness of our weekend. Today carried on the greatness. Michael brought us all Wendy's to the office. Full of nuggets, fries, and frosty, I was ready to go to my social work class. I will write about that tomorrow because I am exhausted right now. Even though my phone somehow broke and I had to wait to get it fixed I am happy to say today was pretty amazing. I am done with all of my homework for the week, I have an email from Becca waiting in my inbox, I am going to the temple with Meghan Wednesday, and I just don't think anything could ruin this week. Okay, well maybe snow could, but let's hope that doesn't happen.