I am sorry for the lack of posts. You see, I just haven't known what to write. Every time I started a post it just didn't seem right. Now I think I know what all to say.
Christmas Eve went well at work. We went around with Santa and passed out blankets, coloring books, pillows, and all kinds of Christmas-y things to the kids making each one of them smile (especially the girl who got a giant stuffed Elsa (good call on my part)). I heard Christmas did not go as smoothly as we would have liked, but that wasn't our fault. I will say I am now thankful for things I have never been thankful for before. Things such as my monkey arms, flatbeds, and doorstops now have a special place in my heart while I am pretty sure other things such as hotwheels, cootie games, and walk with me dolls have a special place in hell. I am finished organizing everything. Everything has a place. Now I get to do things like making sure units have toys for kids, going through the playroom, and shadowing the Child Life Specialists. Yay!
Over the Christmas holiday a neighbor, friend, and church member passed away after having her fourth baby. This was so hard for me because over Christmas I was working so hard to make kids happy in the hospital. Seeing how important Christmas was to them made the sadness creep through me for the kids she left behind. How would their Christmas be? No Christmas should be full of sadness and mourning. When another soul goes to heaven there's so much to think about like what will happen to the spouse and the children they left behind. A lot of people say it was their time or Heavenly Father needed them in heaven. I have a hard time with that. Heavenly Father hates to see us hurt. I can't imagine Him planning things that way. There is no way of knowing for sure, but I think it is part of being on earth. I'm extremely thankful to have my family for eternity because that is what the plan's all about.
So with a somewhat heavy heart a new appreciation for our Heavenly Father's plan Christmas came. I got two days off work, I got to spend time with my family, I got to eat as much as I wanted without feeling guilty, I got to finally wear my college class ring, I got to see my family open their presents, and I got to watch movie after movie. This is what dreams are made of. Also, Mom and I almost finished reading all of the Christmas books. Almost. Looking back now on our Christmas I realize that our tree is never perfect. Our ornaments don't match. We are all busy shopping and making sure all the presents are wrapped. We sometimes get busy in things that don't matter and worry about the minute things, but when you take a step back from all of the chaos there is true beauty and magic in the season.
One night we had the missionaries over for dinner for the first time in forever. I made that heavenly Cafe Rio pulled pork. The next day I made twice baked potatoes because Ryan had been asking for them. It makes me smile when I make things my family enjoys.
I gave a talk. It used to be that I could only say yes to giving a talk when one person asked me. Now, part of being an adult is saying yes to everyone. I might need to rethink my goal of becoming Sister Dalton. Speaking at BYU in front of peers is one thing. Speaking in front of a ward full of people much older and wiser than you makes me so nervous. Really I was fine until I choked on the sacrament bread. Then the panic set in. But, I still made people laugh and wore my sunshine yellow jacket, so it wasn't a complete failure after all.
Mom and I went to the Dallas Arboretum for the 12 days of Christmas display. It was beautiful, and I loved every minute of it. I loved the lights and seeing how they interpreted each day. Also, the night was pretty cold, and it reminded me of Thanksgiving Point there. It was just a fun night.
Now it is a new year. I tried to think of goals that I could actually accomplish this year. I think I found a few. 1. Exist to be happy not to impress. 2. Stop analying the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how I feel, stop deciding exactly what I want, and just see what happens. 3. Know that I am kind, smart, strong, beautiful, important, fearless, and amazing. 4. Go on more adventures. 5. Be around good energy. 6.Connect with people. 7. Learn new things. 8. Grow. I think those are good goals. Bring it on, 2015.
This weekend I will work on my 2014 highlights. Get ready everyone!
