Clark Gable Fairchild

I have never written a sappy post about my Clark Gable. I don't know if that was because he truly hasn't stopped moving since I brought him home, if it is because my circumstances are a little different from when I got Vivien, or if it is because he is the stereotypical second child that doesn't get as many pictures taken of them, has to learn to entertain themselves, etc. I am just going to say it is a mixture of all of the above and move on with this overdue post. 

Moral of this story: never "just look to see what's out there" unless you are ready for a puppy.

Clark is a red Boston. He was born on May 5th, 2017 (which may attribute to his love for salsa, but let's get real, his just has a love for food in general). He has eyebrows, bullseye eyes like his Uncle Ryan and his Great Grandpa. Some people have even told me that he kind of weirds them out because he looks like a Fairchild. It makes me laugh every time. He obviously looks and acts a lot like his Uncle Ryan even though he doesn't even know who that is. He has freckles on his nose. He is the sweetest pup even though he is SO HYPER and SO NAUGHTY sometimes.

It took a little bit for me to be won over by Clark. I was excited to have him, but he wore me down. Sometimes he still wears me down. I was so used to Vivien and how easy she was to train. I am used to her having regular nap times and snuggle sessions. Not Clark! He is his own kind of beast, and he quickly adopted the nickname of Monster. With all of that being said, he has won me over. His loving eyes, the way he hops when he goes to get toys, his long legs, his wagging tail, and his love for football.

I can't believe I have another fur baby in my life, but he has won the hearts of everyone in the family. He has especially won over his Pops. And you know what?! He LOVES his Pops. I am still a little wary of how he is going to be in an apartment, but we will make it work. Things always seem to work out. And, although Ryan isn't home to meet him and give me a hard time I feel like a part of him is here with me. 

Megan Fairchild, MS, CCLS

I am very pleased to announce that my long road to become a child life specialist was worth it. All of it was worth it. The days as a child life assistant, the tears over not getting an internship, actually getting an internship that turned out to be bleh, the friends, the coworkers, the laughs, the kids, all of the reading, the late nights and early mornings, the Master's degree, the education credits, and maybe (not sure about this one) but maybe even having to ride the train during my internship was worth it. On November 4th, I went in to take my certification exam. I was so nervous. It has been almost a year since I finished my degree and internship, and I have not practiced child life since then. I had been studying for a month, but they don't give you a list of things to study. You are on your own. But, thankfully I wasn't actually on my own. I had the nicest CCLS from my internship answering my questions, and she mailed me a packet of study materials. I have a worthy priesthood holder in my home who was nice enough to give me a blessing the night before my test and watch my pups during it. I had friends and family and coworkers and volunteers rooting and praying for me. I got in there and finished my four hour test in an hour. I only didn't know five questions out of 150, and I only missed three questions overall! I am thankful that my prayers were heard and my hard work paid off! One of my coworkers had to take the test today. She passed it, but she said it was SO HARD. I could not believe it. She practiced child life for 10 years before becoming a volunteer coordinator. I left that test and was excited and relieved that it was over but almost disappointed because it seemed too easy. Once again, I am thankful that prayers are answered! I am now Megan Fairchild, MS, CCLS. I ordered business cards at work (I may have waited for my test to be over), and gave my first one out today!! My road to child life is not over, but this is a great step!

#AmericaStrong

There has been a lot going on in our country. We've been hit by multiple hurricanes, there was a shooting just the other night, there have been multiple protest marches in D.C., and there are those that think "taking a knee" during the National Anthem is the right way to protest how our country treats people of color. I honestly haven't had much to say because it hurts. Every time there is a disaster like the hurricane that hit Houston, TX we say we are #TexasStrong or when there was that mass shooting in Las Vegas they were #VegasStrong. Is it too much to ask to be #AmericaStrong? We lower our flag to half mast because we are a country hurting for one another. We are supposed to be there for one another. During the devastation of the hurricanes that hit Texas and Florida it wasn't just Texans and Floridians respectively to go out and help. With the mass shooting in Vegas it wasn't just those in Vegas with eyes glued to the TV to see the latest updates, and it most certainly wasn't just those in Vegas donating blood that the Red Cross and other relief organizations so badly needed. We are a country that works together. We are able to provide relief to others because of that. No good can come when we start thinking it is an individual city or even state that is strong. No good can come of trying to get attention by disrespecting the flag that represents our country, the flag that represents our freedom. So, when you drive by a flag that is at half mast please think of our country as a whole and what we can do to help others. Yes, it starts in our communities, cities, and states, but in starting there and helping where help is needed we make our country strong. Also please remember there is a right and a wrong way to try to make a difference. I think we all need to see and believe how strong our country really is and how much stronger it can be. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtKJCBMqybQ

Family History Bug

So this one time I got called as a temple and family history coordinator. I have been in that calling before, so it came as no surprise. I was told that I would mostly be planning temple trips for the ward. Then, when it came down to it I was all of the sudden also supposed to be teaching a family history class during Sunday School. I knew NOTHING about family history other than the fact that my grandma and mom worked on it! 

So, I dove right in and tried to figure it out. I caught on pretty quickly and filled in quite a few holes in my family tree on both sides. I made it my goal to fill in my four generation chart that the church has challenged each member to fill in and take the names to the temple. When I completed that, I told myself I wanted to complete the larger fan chart it shows on my profile and work on my Grandma Fairchild's four generation chart since she had almost nothing filled in on hers. 

Well, I only have a few spots left on my chart, but I cannot describe all of the blessings that have come from me working on my family history. I feel closer to my ancestors as I read stories about them, see their draft cards going back to the civil war, look at marriage records, etc. They each have a story to tell, and they are so much more than names on a fan chart. Not only this, but I have been able to be closer to both of my grandmas. Grandma Fairchild expressed that she really wants her and grandpa's work to be done in the temple. Also, I have been able to work with Grandma Anderson on her family tree and hear stories about people and see their pictures. I have been able to reserve people to take to the temple. I have also found some fun things. For instance, since I first started picking out names for my future children I was probably about 12 or 13. I have always wanted to name a little girl Emma Jane. I have even had dreams about what she will look like. There is an Emma Jane on my Grandma Fairchild's side that I had no idea about! How fun is that?! I definitely want to take her name to the temple. In fact, I am kind of worried about letting someone else go and do baptisms because I am afraid they won't bring the names back! 

So, moral of the story: family history is not just for your parents and grandparents to do. Sometimes you can find things easier than they can, and why not get some of those blessings for yourself when you are given the opportunity to do so? And once you start, you're hooked.

The Clark Gable for My Vivien Leigh

Do you ever do something crazy? I do. Sometimes. Just a couple weeks ago I decided I would just start looking for a puppy since time is drawing closer for me to get out on my own which means Vivi needs a friend. I never thought I would find one so quickly. Not only did I find a little brother for Vivi, but he was brown. And he was precious. 

I saw his picture, and the next day I brought him home. When I first saw him I fell in love. His previous owner couldn't keep him anymore. When he handed him to me he was the squirmiest little guy!! I should have known then... Driving home felt like forever because he barked the entire time in his crate unless I reached my hand back there for him which was kind of an uncomfortable position for me. Then, when we got home he didn't stop moving. Ever. I finally had to put him back in his crate because he would not calm down! After a couple days I seriously thought I was going to have to give him back because he just wouldn't calm down, but after a stern talking to he has settled and is working on the whole potty-training thing. 

Although he is more hyper than Vivi and is obviously much harder to train (actually, just imagine the complete opposite of Vivien in every way), he won all of our hearts. He looks up at you with so much love, and you have to love him back no matter how crazy he is making you or how mad you are at him. He has made himself right at home. He is learning to walk on a leash, knows how to sit and lay down, is crate trained (yay!), and we are working on getting him to like snuggling. 

At first, Vivien Leigh was not a huge fan. She wouldn't come near him. She was living up to her namesake. And, also true to character, now that she has warmed up to him she only wants to play on her terms. But I really do think they are friends now thank goodness. It made me so sad when she did not like him. I got him for her, after all! So Clark Gable, previously known as Hei Hei, born on May 5, 2017 has made a place in our hearts and our home. 

Update: I wrote this yesterday and had to re-read it today to remind myself that I really do love this rambunctious little guy. He truly was a monster this morning, but after looking this over again I guess I still love him.

Bright Moments At Work

The other day I was sitting at my desk trying to figure out one of the programs I have to work with, and one of the student volunteers walked in. He kept saying "ma'am" like he was trying to get someone's attention. Finally I turned around to see who was ignoring him. It was me... I was ignoring him. I don't think I have ever been called ma'am before. Most people act like I am still so young, so I was NOT prepared for it. I burst out laughing which caught him off guard, but I helped him after. It pretty much made my day.
As I was meeting all of my volunteers I had two come up to me and tell me how beautiful I was. One told me how pretty my smile was and that she knew I would go far in life because I beautiful smile can get you anywhere. The other came and asked if she could hug me. Being told you're pretty is always nice, and these two ladies were so sweet!
One day I was walking into the hospital from the parking garage, and I got on the elevator with a dad and his little kiddo going to visit a sibling. The little one started talking to me about all of the cool things they put in the elevator shaft for kids to find. Then in the skybridge this kiddo would run all around me, up ahead of me, turn around and stop. They would smile and then tell me something about themself or their sibling before repeating the process until we had to go separate ways. The dad apologized more than once, and I got to tell him that was really part of the fun of working here. The kids always keep you on your toes!

Another day I was walking around the hospital, and I was thinking about how much I missed working with the patients. I miss my kiddos and their bright smiles and laughs. I was thinking how I love my job, but that is really the one thing that I just can't be without. I was walking up the stairs in the butterfly atrium (my favorite spot in the entire hospital), and two little kids were walking down to get to the popcorn machine. One was really young and struggling down the stairs on their own. They reached out to me. I smiled, took their chubby hand in mine and helped them down the rest of the stairs. When I got back up the stairs I saw the mom. I could tell she was tired, but she hugged me and said thank you. I just told her that her little one had made my day. That was definitely one of my tender mercy moments for the day, and that special moment made me the happiest girl in the hospital! 

My Golden Buzzer

I was sitting and watching America's Got Talent last week. I was crying like I do in every episode. I watch as people perform and show off their amazing talents. I watch children to elderly adults work on achieving their dreams. I cry because I have not always known what I wanted to do with my life. I haven't known I wanted to be a singer or a nurse or a comedian since I was two years old. I have always had an idea of what I wanted to do, but it usually changed every couple of years. Last week, I was struggling with it more than usual wondering whether or not my dream was actually what the Lord had planned for me. Well, it wasn't. But when have my life plans ever really worked out?! (*Hint: Never*) Throughout the course of my life I have really had to work on trusting in the Lord and being patient with Him because His plans for me are bigger than my dreams ever could be. He proved that to me once again. This week, I sat watching America's Got Talent again, and I got a phone call. It wasn't just any phone call. I was offered the Volunteer Coordinator position that I had interviewed for, and they were willing to pay more than a child life position would. It was oh so comforting. I felt a heavy load instantly being lifted off my shoulders. During the call, I had paused my show and gone upstairs to talk to the recruiter. When I came back one of the contestants who earned a golden buzzer said something I will try to never forget. She said, "It's not the dream that I always had, but that's okay... because I showed up." So, this volunteer coordinator position isn't the dream I have always had. It isn't even the dream that I have had since graduating in December, but that's okay because I showed up for the interview. I am going to make this my golden buzzer moment and create a new dream for myself. Thank you so much to everyone who supported me, believed in me even when I lost hope and didn't always believe in myself, and prayed for me. Prayers are answered. Heavenly Father knows each one of us and our needs. He knows our hopes and dreams, but sometimes He shows us something even better!

Lessons Learned in the Mountains

My boss hiked Y mountain the other day. That is a mountain that holds so many fond memories for me. It is where my cousin and I hiked the first week we got to Utah. It is where I would go to think on rough days. It is how I would gauge how low the clouds were. It is where I found peace. It was a beacon for me that let me know I was in the right place. It was where homecoming and parent weekend festivities took place. It is the place that when you get to the top you just marvel at how beautiful everything is, especially at night when the temple is shining from below. It is where you shine your light for those down at the base of the mountain to look up at and smile.

I choose to remember all of those wonderful things about it, but I can also say it is a strenuous hike. When Becca and I hiked it for the first time I thought I was going to die. There is no air and I felt like it was pretty much going straight up and somehow zigzagging at the same time. It is where I always feel like I need more water but the thought of having more weight to carry up the mountain makes me cringe. It is where the rocks slide from underneath you as you walk. It is where you sometimes feel bad about yourself because so many people are passing you. And, when it was time to go back down you were fighting to keep your footing as the rocks slide from beneath your feet, you had nothing to hold on to, and you were often going back down in the dark. 

I tell you this because the hike is really only 1.11 miles. That is nothing. At home, I can pretty much do that in my sleep. But, when my boss hiked it, his Fitbit told him it was 98 flights of stairs. 98, people! So basically, it does go straight up and zigzag at the same time. 

My life is still so uncertain right now and I absolutely hate it. I am figuratively hiking up that insanely steep mountain on a trail that is really only 1.11 miles but feels like 98 flights of stairs. I hope one day I can look back at this part of my life and think how short these past few months have been like I always felt once I got to the top of Y mountain. "It wasn't so bad. I was just being dramatic. I could do that again. And look how beautiful that view is!" As I climbed that mountain each time I felt so exhausted and worn down. I was thirsty and I wondered why I ever thought hiking to the Y was a good idea. But, once I got to the top I was exhilarated and easily found the energy to make the equally treacherous hike back down those slick rocks and that steep trail. I really really hope this is like that... 

Too Old for Snapchat, Too Young for Life Alert

Another birthday came and went. I feel like 23 will be the year that I will listen to oldies music more than the "now" music. It will hopefully be the year that I will be able to find a job that I really enjoy and can thrive in. It might even be the year where I realize my potential and feel my individual worth shining through. Maybe. Hopefully. Fingers crossed. 

This wasn't one of those BIG birthdays like 16 or 21 or 25 (a quarter of a century old = Yikes!!), so I just had two neighbors and my grandparents over to have pineapple upside down cake and key lime pie. :) Nothing big, nothing fancy, but it was nice to just be able to sit and relax and talk. After everyone left I opened presents. I got my wishlist canisters and a matching casserole dish from my parents, and I got a surprise gift from my little brother. He got me a Beauty and the Beast poster! I was SO EXCITED! Now I have the new Cinderella poster and the new Beauty and the Beast poster. I might have to keep this going with any other amazing princess movies Disney decides to remake. 

Turning 23 has also had its hard parts, I'm not going to lie. It brought on those feelings of failure and worthlessness even stronger than before. I am 23 years old. I should be able to find a job. I have a Master's degree for heaven's sake. Someone please hire me... But they haven't yet, so I am helpless with an upcoming payment on my student loan looming in the future, and now... a traffic ticket. I got my first speeding ticket. Talk about traumatic. 23 has not been kind to me thus far. 

So, with my old soul (as many of my old roommates called me), I sometimes still feel like a child. I feel much too old for Snapchat, but at least I know that I am also much to young for life alert. I am stuck somewhere in the middle of those two things. I am stuck in the middle of a lot of things right now. Sanity and insanity. Family ward and singles ward. Internship and job. 

So, as I wait ever so impatiently, I will keep applying for jobs, keep trying to find my place, keep working on staying busy, keep trying to keep the faith, and keep trying to do the right thing. It will all work out, so I'm told. It just has to... 

These Two

We celebrated my grandparents' sixtieth wedding anniversary this past weekend. It was such a special day, and I am so thankful I was able to celebrate it with them. These two have meant so much to me over the years. I have loved hearing their stories and seeing the hand of God in their lives ever since they were children. I enjoy each and every minute I get to spend with them. I have cherished each long hug or each letter if I was away from them. I treasure the advice they have given me and will continue to give me as I get older. I long for the day when my grandma can approve (or not) of the man I want to marry because she seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to that. I will always and forever hold fast to the memories I have with them.  As I was thinking about a 60th wedding anniversary I just thought about how long that sounded. I cannot even imagine being with someone for that long, but I have not found the person that I want to spend my life with yet. And, as my mom reminded me, 60 years doesn't seem so long when you think of being married to them for eternity not just "until death do [you] part." I love these two so much, and I cannot wait until I find that one person for me that I want to spend eternity with. I can only hope to find someone I love as much as these two love one another. Thank goodness Grandpa was so persistent and kept giving Grandma that engagement ring back each time she gave it back to him because I cannot imagine life without them both! 

P.S. I did the flower arrangement, boutonniere, and corsage for this event, and I am ever so thankful that the flowers I ordered were good and that they all turned out okay!

Trials and Thankfulness

It's been a long past few weeks, but they have given me a lot to think about. 

We have been having our house remodeled. As I sat and watched the workers, I sometimes felt as if I was trapped in my own house, but I also came to realize how thankful I am that I have such a beautiful home and parents who always try to make and keep their home clean and pretty and taught me to do the same. I also came to realize how true the quote "a leisurely stroll is a gift" is. Even a slow walk up and down our little street put peace in my heart as pounding was going on in the house. 

I am having a difficult finding a job. I apply and apply and just don't hear back from anyone. Finally, I felt that I would sign up to take the next certification exam, and everything would work out. When I checked when the next one is... it's not until August. So, I lost a lot of hope at that moment. How could something I felt was so right be so many months away. This is yet another moment in my life where I really start to get discouraged and question what Heavenly Father's plan is for me. But, with all that being said I need to express how grateful I am for having such loving and supportive parents. They are there for me. Always. They pray and fast for me, offer to help me in any way I need, and spend time with me when I feel like I am going crazy. I also need to say how thankful I am for having the little brother that I do. Even though he is far away, he is still that crazy funny, loving, and smart little brother that I love so much. I look forward to each and every email from him. He talks me through my rough days, laughs with me at single's ward mishaps, and just talks to me like he used to but over email. 

I've been going to the single's ward again. I think I may have PTSD from prior experiences in this ward, but it hasn't been bad. I am so thankful that Brother and Sister Kokenes and Butler are there. It gives me comfort seeing neighbors with sparkling eyes, and a ready joke as I open the door and having someone to sit by. It made me feel so good when I thanked Sister Butler for letting me sit by her and she said, "No, thank you. It helps me not feel so alone." I guess I'm not the only one who is comforted having someone I know and trust sit beside me even if they aren't my age. I have never had such a hard time doing the right thing, but these people make doing the right thing so much better even if it still is not easy for me.

My grandpa died a couple weeks ago. I have only ever been to one funeral (now two). I try to avoid them if at all possible. It broke my heart to see my grandma so sad. Now, more than ever before, I am thankful for the Plan of Happiness as well as eternal families. I am so thankful that when my parents die I have the knowledge that I will see them again and we can be a family FOREVER. I am thankful that if the day for me to get married ever does come it will not be "until death do us part", but we will be sealed together for eternity. I felt so much comfort knowing that. I cannot wait until the day when we can do Grandpa and Grandma's temple work and have them sealed together as well. 

Lastly, after multiple Relief Society and Sunday School lessons I want to make one thing clear. To all of those who feel alone, like they do not belong, like they are not good enough, like they don't make a difference, and who wonder if it is all worth it. You are never alone. Our Savior did not go through the Atonement to ever leave you alone but especially not in your time of need. You may feel like you don't belong. I am struggling with that right now. But, I am trying to keep faith in the middle and hope that as long as I continue to do the right things, doors will open for me. Sometimes that's all you can do. Just hope for good things to come, and you will find your place. You are good enough! Heavenly Father loves you just the way you are, but He won't leave you that way. He is going to continue to give you opportunities to become better and stronger. You do make a difference. I was struggling with this as well when everyone was telling me that they "needed" me at the single's ward. WHY?!? When I go I usually sit alone and I make no difference whatsoever. Then, someone I love and respect told me that sometimes people need you in certain places just because of who YOU are, the way you dress, the way you talk, and the example you set. So, whether or not you are making an obvious change-the-world-difference, you are making a difference to someone by being where you are supposed to be. As to whether it is all worth it... I guess we will see in the end, but I would like to think that a mansion is being prepared for me with a full closet and beautiful decorations because I am trying to be the best I could be. I would hate to actually have to live out my hobo plan in heaven because I didn't even try.

I hope everyone enjoys conference weekend and finds peace and answers to their prayers.

Art by Yongsung Kim

Dreaming of Nachos and All Things Crunchy

So this one time I got my wisdom teeth out. Honestly, I have been dreading doing it for years, but it got to the point where I could feel them pushing up against my other teeth and my mouth hurt all of the time. I knew it had to happen. When it was scheduled I had recurring nightmares about it for weeks. With my anxiety and the complete lack of sleep, I was a wreck before the surgery. When you tell people you're getting your wisdom teeth out they grimace and go on to tell you their own version of the same horror story. I cannot tell you how many I heard. Waking up in the middle of the surgery, the pain, the sickness, the weirdness when you're waking up from the anesthesia, the bruises, and even choking on the gauze and actually dying. I heard it all. I had never had an IV or been under anesthesia, so naturally with my anxious little self I assumed the worst. And we all know how much I hate going to the doctor or dentist (which now also includes the oral surgeon). I was a mess when I found out my mom wouldn't even be able to be back with me when I was waking up (something I was taking comfort in because I always got to tell kids their mom would be there when they were waking up from surgery during my internship). I was even more of a mess as they placed the IV and tied my hands to the chair (why do they do that?!). Luckily, it didn't take long for the oral surgeon to come in. He had the nerve to ask me how I was doing! I had tears silently streaming down my face, I had tubes and wires attached to me, and I was tied down to a chair! How did he think I was doing?! I am really ever so thankful the anesthesia literally only takes a second to kick in. When I woke up my mouth hurt but not terribly. I just wanted ice and water to drink. I did not lay back in the chair they put me in. I sat up and looked around using my hands as ice packs. I felt like I was there for forever, and I just wanted my mom. When I went home and got some food, water, and ice packs I was fine. My mouth still didn't hurt all that badly, my cheeks swelled a little but not a ton, and I didn't get sick. I wanted to go out and do things! Little did I know the first day isn't the worst. One of my cheeks swelled a ton (to me). It was not nearly as bad as a lot of people so I still count myself lucky, but it was pretty large. Four days after the surgery the bruises showed up. Big, yellow, nasty bruises. Now that I have stopped taking the pain medication (it made me feel like I was underwater all of the time) my jaw hurts to open it. I guess I should have expected that when the oral surgeon told me I had one of the smallest mouths he's worked on. So, overall, the experience was not as bad as I anticipated, and I may have overreacted at certain points before the surgery. Sorry, mom and dad for having to deal with me. But, with that being said I am ever so glad I never have to do it again. I cannot wait for the day when my mouth feels good enough again to open up wide and gobble up nachos. Until then....