Kissed By An Angel

I have been complaining a lot. I have had such a hard time in my internship, but that is not what this blog post is about. Well, it kind of is. You'll just have to keep reading to see what I mean. 

Last Saturday and Sunday I felt like I had hit another wall. I felt like I had not only hit it but I had hit is so hard that I was just a splat on that wall like a bug on a windshield. That started to change on Sunday. I was going to go home after Sacrament meeting to try to take a nap and maybe rejuvenate a little bit before having to start another week at the hospital. Then, all of the sudden the Relief Society president was right beside me. We talked, and as we did so I put my keys back in my purse. I just had the feeling I needed to stay. As I stayed I felt like every sentence was meant for me. Sentences like "We never have more value in the Lord's sight than when we are feeling completely worthless" by Bruce C. Hafen or "You are a daughter of God first and a ... [child life intern for me] second" or "we choose to deny the sacred opportunity of growing closer to God when we act forsaken." They were all beautiful lessons. At the end of Relief Society, the president gave the best comment I had heard yet (her comments are my favorite). She referenced 3 Nephi 17:17 and said that Christ is praying for each and every one of us. At that point I felt the spirit so strongly, and I knew that statement was true. 

I felt the truth of that statement as I went throughout the week. Tuesday night I had the worst scare. Vivien hadn't been doing well, so I took her to the vet. They said that I needed to go to an emergency clinic. I went over there and waited for hours. When the vet finally saw me she said it could be just irritated gums or it could be that she got into something like rat poisoning and was bleeding out, but it would be $400 for them to find out. I left that vet without getting the blood test, a feeling of guilt that if anything had happened to Vivi I would never have been able to get rid of, and a weight that I felt like I could not bear. I got into my car and broke. I did not understand how for the past couple of days I had felt so close to Christ and now this was happening. Why? What was going to happen to Vivi? What would I do without her? I started praying. I needed help. I needed strength to get through my internship and not only get through it but feel competent in it. I needed Vivien to be okay. I needed His help. That night I held Vivi close, and continued to pray. I had been reading in the New Testament about all of the miracles Christ performed, and I asked that one of those miracles could be for my puppy. 

I cried a lot of the night and woke up at every one of Vivien's moves, but when I woke up I felt a sense of peace. I felt comfort. I truly felt that someone from the other side was there to let me know that He heard my prayers. The next couple of days Vivi got better. She also started licking my feet like all of the time, something that reminded me of Fenway. I like to think that Fenway came to comfort the both of us. He was always my best boy, my protector. It's easy to believe he would be there for me now too. Thank goodness I have Heavenly Father and my best boy to get me through because I need my baby girl.

The One About Homecoming

So, here's the deal. This internship has been stressful to say the least, so I wanted to take a break. I have also always been so involved in BYU Homecoming activities that I wanted to return as an alum and join in on the festivities. I wanted to hike and light the Y and go to the game and see Spectacular! And guess what?! I did. :) It all started with Hike and Light the Y. They got to buy the land the Y is on so they redid the Y and the trail. They built lights into the Y, and I got to participate in those new lights being used for the very first time. I almost didn't make it up the mountain! I forgot how tough of a hike that was. Good thing I will always love the view from the top which makes it all worth it. Vivi got to meet Cosmo for the first time! She wasn't sure about him, but he loved her. And, on our way down, I lost Vivi. She wasn't on her leash and I guess got confused by the dark and all of the people coming down the mountain at the same time so she just stopped I guess. All I know is at one point I turned around and realized I had lost her. A couple of minutes later the nicest guy came down holding her in her little sweater. He said he wanted to take her home with him, but I made him give her back! Thank goodness I found her! 

 Then there was the homecoming game. I mean, they haven't won a homecoming game since before my freshman year of college. I wanted them to win so so badly! The whole game was an edge of your seat game. Maybe that was just because I was there and wanted them to win, but maybe it wasn't. When the fourth quarter ended we were tied. At the end of the first overtime we were tied. In double overtime, we all too easily ran in for a touchdown. Then, somehow, we were able to block the other team from getting a touchdown. When that happened, the stadium erupted. There was an insane amount of noise and everyone was rushing the field. All I could do was scream. My boys in blue pulled it out for me in the end, and I was ecstatic! Best game ever to buy tickets and be there for!!!

 Last but not least was BYU Spectacular! They always bring in an outside artist, and this year they brought in three. They brought in the one and only glorious Gladys Knight, Lexi Mae Walker, and a YouTube acapella sensation.I have always loved Spectacular, but this year getting to go with Meghan and having Gladys bringing her soul into our music just made my day!!!

 This week has been pretty great as well. I got to help my mom on a Christmas project, take Vivi to the park where fall is in full force, watch movies, be on my own and shadow new areas in my internship, go out to dinner with my old roommate Janessa, and just relax! Those are my favorite kind of weeks! It also helps that on one of my trips to Provo I picked up a half gallon of BYU chocolate milk. Oh my I have a half gallon of divinity in my fridge right now! I actually think I'm going to have some. Right now. Have a great night!!!

I Believe in Sparkles. I Believe in Magic. I Believe in Miracles.

Heavenly Father knows each and every one of us and He hears each one of our prayers. When I feel lonely, frustrated, or sad, I know He is there to help me through whatever is making me feel that way. With each little sparrow hopping around, each rainbow over the mountain, each beautiful color in the leaves and flowers, each time the sunlight filters through the trees, each soft breeze, each beautiful sunset, each look into Vivien's deep brown eyes, each carefree butterfly, each tight hug, and each little sparkle I see and feel Him in my life. I can be so frustrated by something that happened at my internship or so heartbroken that the package I sent to my little brother got lost, but He always finds simple ways to remind me that He loves me, he hears me, and He is there for me always. I believe in magic. I believe in miracles. And I believe that we truly can do anything through Christ who strengthens us. 

 Over conference weekend I was able to take Vivien to Thanksgiving Point. That is one of my favorite places here in Utah. We took our time through the park and enjoyed every bit of it (well, except Vivien was not enjoying stopping to take pictures). They have sculptures of Christ in the middle of the gardens that I have always loved. This time, I found a sculpture of Joseph Smith receiving the first vision actually in a grove of tress. It was magical to see as I walked through the grove, the sun came out and shone right on the three figures. If that isn't magical I don't know what is. It just cemented my testimony as I felt the spirit in that little grove of trees even with other people all around me. Then, as I walked back out to the sculptures of Christ I stopped and watched for a minute. I watched as little kids reached up to feel the prints in his hands or the mark on his side. I watched as people who were laughing and running and playing through the park walked up to these statues with reverence. 

I walked out of that place feeling the Spirit stronger than I had been before. It was the perfect thing to do in between conference sessions and when I was having a hard time understanding why certain things were not going the way I would like them to (but what's new with that?). My little brother got the package I sent him this morning, I am halfway through with my internship, and there are only 64 days until I graduate. I am progressing. With His help, I can make it.