Update: Back in Utah!

On May 21st, my little brother got his mission call in the mail. It was his birthday. We all waited in anticipation until the next day when he would have family and friends over to open it and find out where he was going. We were busy making sure we had everything ready, but it was in the back of everyone's mind. As he opened it, I watched that little boy's face. He shakily opened that envelope to find out he would be serving the people of Fort Collins, Colorado for the next two years. He would be reporting to the MTC just a couple weeks before my internship was supposed to start. It's funny how things tend to work out when you allow Heavenly Father to guide you.
On May 29th, just a week after receiving his call, he was ordained as an elder. Suddenly that little boy looked so grown up to me. How did my little brother suddenly get so big?
On June 4th Ryan walked across the stage for graduation. He left behind his high school days and seemed ready to head out on his mission. We texted lyrics from Frozen songs the entire time. Only him...
On June 8th he went through the temple. He was a little nervous, but I he liked it. I sat and watched him the whole time.
On June 14th my sweet Vivi Beasty turned 2. My little squishy is also growing up. As we packed I wondered how she would react to moving and being in a new place with only me, but I could not bear the thought of leaving her behind.
On July 9th we went to an orchard and bought peaches. My favorite food. We also got blackberry cider. If you ever get a chance to try some, do it! It was so rich and decadent and delicious and just divine.
On July 11th we canned peaches. I wish I could have brought some to Utah, but I settled for eating an entire jar by myself while my family went to go and see the Jason Bourne movie. Totally worth missing the movie for.
On July 15th I said goodbye to my job, my coworkers, and the beautiful hospital I worked at. I walked out those doors with a smile on my face but with a strange tug on my heart trying to pull me back inside. I loved working there, and I hope I enjoy my internship and future job(s) just as much.
On July 20th we went to Magnolia Market. You know the show "Fixer Upper"? It's Chip and Joanna's place. I wish we had seen them, but I had fun with my family just the same!
On July 23rd I was in the Portland Oregon temple as Julie Anne went through. I am so sad that I will be missing her wedding, but I was beyond excited to be able to share this special day with her. Also, the look on her face when she saw me in the airport was priceless! I love that girl, and I am so happy for her and Todd.
On July 28th we went on the mini train with my grandparents, a cousin and her kids, and my aunt and her kids. It was so much fun to be with the little cheesers, but really I loved having my grandparents sit in front of me and continue reminding me of what I am holding out for. Their marriage is the ultimate in relationship goals.
July 29th Ryan was set apart as a missionary. He had that sparkle in his eyes like he knew without a doubt that he was doing the right thing no matter how nervous he was. I was so proud of him for that.
July 30th we set out for Utah. Ryan and me in my car and mom and dad in the other. Vivi switched back and forth. Ryan and I had so much fun singing to Disney songs, listening to the first Narnia book, and just talking. I loved having that time with him, and I would not trade it for anything.
July 31st we made it to Utah. After what seemed like the longest drive. And so, the adventure began.
August 2nd we went to the aquarium in Draper just for fun. That was one thing Ryan said he wanted to do. He was so funny. He loves aquariums as much as I do.
On August 3rd Ryan gave us all the sweetest blessings. Start the cryfest. We went out to lunch with him in his suit and his suitcases in the trunk of the car. Then, we had a little bit of time, so we walked around the Provo Temple before we had to drop him off. I wanted one picture. Just one. I wanted a picture of me hugging him before he left, and I got it. Continue cryfest. As we drove up to the MTC my heart was racing but somehow I felt like it wasn't beating at all. I wasn't even the one about to leave! I got out of the car for one last hug, and I was fine until a missionary said they would take good care of him. I knew they would, but I would not be there to do it. I wouldn't be there for late night talks about random books or movies, to jam out to Disney songs with him, to watch whatever movie we felt like at the time, to be squeezed almost to death by him, to be picked up by him, to be called wittle sister, to talk a little too loudly during sacrament meeting with him, to just sit by him. I wouldn't be there, and he wouldn't be with me. Initiate one last cryfest in the car.
August 4th Mom and I went to the Pioneer Village in Provo. I actually really enjoyed it and learned a lot from the lady that took us around.
August 5th, yesterday, Mom and I went to the Museum of Art on BYU campus. I wasn't so impressed with the exhibits they have right now, but I absolutely loved the string art they have in the atrium. We also went to the Provo City Center Temple, the Pioneer Museum, and to get Thai food. I just soaked up time with her. Last night I made them dinner at my house. One last dinner with them before I am again away from them for months at a time. One last chance to feel their strong, comforting hugs before they had to leave.
August 6th, today. I cleaned most of the day. I watched some of the Olympics as I cleaned thinking about the last time they were going on and I sat with Meghan each night when we were done with school and work. I thought about how much things had changed. I watched as Vivien moped around the house the entire day. She just slept. Nothing interests her. Nothing except pumpkin cake... She wouldn't play, wouldn't eat unless I hand fed her, and didn't even beg when I snacked. She makes me wonder if I made the right choice in bringing her. But still, I just can't imagine doing this journey on my own. Tonight I really miss my family. I thought about going home around Christmas time and realized Ryan wouldn't be there to torment me, and things just aren't the same. I watched videos of Vivi rolling in the grass and throwing fits and bouncing on her butt and just prayed that she would be okay once she settled. I thought about my ward that I will be introduced to tomorrow and wondered what it was going to be like and if I would like it and be able to make friends. I wondered if things for my internship were going to work out as I tried to figure out the paperwork I have to send back in. I emailed Ryan and hoped he was missing me but enjoying his short time in the MTC even though I somehow know he is. I'm so excited for this new journey, this new step, but I am so scared just as I am at any other point of change. Heavenly Father is just going to have to keep guiding me as He always does.