There is Gold

I recently was out with my mom where I saw a sign that said, "There is gold in every piece of your story." That resonated with me. I thought about all of the beautiful times in life whose memories have a golden hue. But, I also thought about all of the dark, hard times in which I can look back now and see how I have forged gold from them. 

Before I turned 15, I had a plan at church. When my birthday came around I was going to move up with all of my friends, my classmates, to the next level class that was for girls 16+. I had skipped a grade in junior high, and it just made sense. My parents had spoken with my bishop. Everything was going well... Until my birthday. The decision was then reversed which threw me through a loop. All of my friends were moving on without me. It was a struggle. I felt wronged. It took me several weeks to go back to my Young Women class. I would patiently wait for that class to be over and then go to Sunday School with my friends. But, looking back, when I finally went back to class I was made Mia Maid president. My friend, Emily, and I had so much fun. She, along with the Young Women leader we had, was exactly what I needed before heading off to college. 

My internship for my grad program is still one of the most difficult times of my life to date. I had no friends. The internship was insanely difficult. My roommate was literally crazy. My supervisors were not helpful and didn't seem interested in teaching me. Everything seemed stacked against me, and I was so stressed I made myself sick. I learned in meetings to put up a wall between me and those in the meeting with me. I became a blank slate that no one could read. There were countless nights full of tears. But, I had quality time with my cousin. I learned valuable skills on my own. I hope I was a good influence on my roommate. And, I got to share the magic of Christmas in Utah with my parents when they came to pick me up. 

In my previous job, where kindness and consideration for others was not at the front of people's minds, I again struggled. I was drained at the end of each and every day. I was tired of people taking credit for my work and my ideas. Tired of people being so rude. Tired of people in leadership not taking responsibility for things and for not putting in the work. But, I kept going. I put in my all. I connected with my volunteers. I made a difference. And, when I finally got so tired of it all and decided to leave, all of my hard work payed off. I had learned valuable skills. I had been taught valuable lessons. Someone saw potential in me and how hard I worked. I now see a whole lot more gold in each day, but I see the gold flecks in days past that got me here. 

There is gold in EVERY piece of your story. 

Much like the scripture that tells us all things will work together for our good, all of the dark and all of the light contains gold. After Joseph Smith's time in Liberty Jail, he said, "It seems to me that my heart will always be more tender after this than it was ever before." Find your gold. It's there. 

Your story is gold. You are golden. Because you are His. 

Tearing Down to Build Up

In General Conference this month, President Nelson shared this video. As I watched it, I wondered what the pioneers must be thinking. If I were one of them, I would initially think, "Oh my gosh! They are tearing up what I worked so hard to build!" But, as I thought more on the subject, I realized they probably aren't thinking that at all. They are probably looking down and smiling as they watch all of the glorious improvements we are making. The temple that they built is becoming stronger with modern technology and knowledge we have. It is becoming more resilient. 

We often have to tear things up in order to build them up BETTER and STRONGER. 

We have done this with scriptures. We were given the Book of Mormon to add to our Bibles. It adds to what we had been given previously, giving us more and drawing us closer to Christ. We added the Doctrine and Covenants, so modern day revelations are now scripture. Joseph Smith went through the Bible and did translations so that we could better understand what we had been given. We also have footnotes, the Bible Dictionary, and the Index to help us study and learn. 

We do this with revelations. Sometimes we do what we were given revelation to do only to find out it was right for that moment but not for the long term. We get more and more revelations over time to build on one another, to sometimes replace the old, and to gain more knowledge over time. 

We do this with our testimonies. Sometimes we have to tear down our testimonies down to the studs to find out what we truly believe, what is truly important. We cannot depend solely on the testimonies of others. We can use them as a foundation, but we ultimately have to build our own. If you add on to a house you don't just go out in the yard and start building. You add on to the foundation you had and then build on top of that. 

President Nelson talked about the complex task of making the temple's foundation sure. We each have the complex task of doing so with our own foundations. It may not always be easy seeing something we thought was right or something we have worked so hard on torn down, but as long as we are doing so to build ourselves up again better and stronger we will be okay. 

Now, more than ever, we have work to do! 

Continue to question. 

Continue to tear down. 

That is the only way you can build. 

Reinforce. 

Build better. 

Build stronger. 

Just build. 

Then, you be strong. 

You will be resilient. 

You will stand the test of time.

Do Your Part

We are quickly approaching Conference weekend! As I was considering what I need to pray for before this conference I was thinking about sustaining the leaders of the Church. We get to sustain our leaders during each conference, those in our ward and stake with each new calling, and confirm that we sustain them during temple recommend interviews. What does it mean to sustain someone? I looked at churchofjesuschrist.org, and it says "when we sustain someone we are keeping covenants" and that sustaining means "we promise to support the person called and to do our part as well". To do our part as well. That struck me. As I have read through my scriptures I have also noticed a few invitations for us. Let the spirit in. Let our hearts be glad. Let the gospel work within us. This is all up to us. We have to put in effort. We have to do our part. As we get closer to Conference, I am going to work on accepting these invitations. I am going to do my part. I am going to proudly sustain the Church leaders and do my best to actually hear their words and apply them in my life.

It Might Be Hope

Sometimes the questions people ask surprise me. Just yesterday, a girl at church just all of the sudden turned to me in the middle of institute and asked me if I thought hope could ever be in vain. Sometimes the answers I spurt out surprise me even more. In answer to her question, I answered with a resounding no. When she asked me why, I told her because hope is a principle of the gospel, and as long as we are truly hoping for something (not wishing that your favorite team will win a rival game but true hope) righteous it cannot be in vain. For some reason, this conversation really impacted me. Why was I so quick to answer? Do I really believe what I told her? I do. There have been so many times in my life where hope is my only option. I feel stuck. I feel beat down. I feel tired. But, when there is hope, there is light. We are promised so many blessings when we live our lives with faith and hope. And, as we come to see what we have hoped for come to fruition, there is a brighter light lit within us. Today, as I was reading through Doctrine and Covenants 86 I came to verse 7 where we are told to let the wheat and the tares grow together until the harvest is fully ripe. If we ask to cut the tares down when the blades are young (and our faith is weak), we may also destroy the wheat. I immediately thought of our trials and blessings. If we immediately ask for a trial to be taken away when it is just beginning do we risk missing out on blessings (and increased faith) that are results of it? We must let our blessings and trials grow together. In the end we can sift through it all and take only the best things from the situation. Hope is like that. We have to let hope grow up with the hard. It won't be in vain. Not ever.

In An Hour You Think Not

Over the past couple of years I have come to the conclusion that scriptures can have multiple different meanings. Scriptures that I have "known" the meaning of take on an entirely different meaning as I learn, grow, and go through different life experiences. For instance, in D&C 61, we are told to "be of good cheer...for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you...for He cometh in an hour you think not (v. 36,38)." I have always found comfort in this phrase, but this time reading it, it hit differently. Before that always meant the Second Coming would come at a time that no one really knew. We just needed to prepare. This time, along with the previous verses, it meant that there are often times when we feel forsaken or feel like all is lost or that He isn't hearing our prayers but it is in the small moments as well as the big that His spirit comes into our lives. He is telling us that He hears us, He loves us, He is there for us, and He will never leave us. He comes into our lives even at the times when we don't expect. I love that. 

We are promised that we can expect wonderful works when we pray (D&C 65:4). But we have to pray. We have to be of good cheer--which doesn't mean you have to be happy, all is right in the world all of the time because it isn't. We just have to take comfort in the fact that He is there and He wants to bless us. Then, we have to look for the blessings both big and small in our lives which, in turn, will make us be of good cheer even more! THEN, He tells us to go and "make known His wonderful works." He wants us to share those things with others so they can be of good cheer as well. 

There is hope. There is comfort. There is cheer. There is love. He comes in moments that we expect like in the spiritual high of girls' camp or General Conference. He comes in the moments we don't expect when we are having a spiritual low when we don't even have the energy to pray out loud. He and His angels are there to comfort and guide us. ALWAYS. And I am thankful for that. 

A Prayer of Faith

In reading the D&C over the past several weeks I came across a phrase that’s repeated a few times throughout various sections. It often comes when there are problems. In the early days of the church, people were so eager to believe and be a part of the new church that many had “false revelations” which led others away or led them to worship in incorrect ways. There was much to learn. There still is.

Do we ever come across those times in life where we feel like we have been given a bit of knowledge and then left without all of it? How do we find the rest that we are yearning for?

Do we ever feel alone in a trial wondering what the best answer is?

Do we cry for those who have been led astray by others and wonder what more we could have done or can now do to help them?

Do we worry about ourselves or others on the path to salvation?

I am sure the answer is (or has at one point been) a resounding yes! Although the fullness of the gospel has been on the earth for many years now, we are still learning. None of us is perfect. We are imperfect people all trying our best. Some put a little and some put a lot into their efforts, but we are doing the best we can at any given point just like the early Saints. I am thankful that we have more knowledge and guidance than they had as I am sure that was a trial all on it’s own, but I think a certain phrase that is repeated many times can mean just as much to us as it did to them. That phrase is “a prayer of faith.”

A prayer of faith. Four words. An answer to so many questions. 

When we feel like we have nothing more to give what should we do? Offer a prayer of faith and try to do more for those in His kingdom.

On our darkest days when we may feel like all hope is gone? A prayer of faith and continue on as we work to draw closer to Him.

On days when we aren’t even sure what we believe or if our faith is strong enough? A prayer of faith to the One we believe in.

On days when sadness or grief try to overtake us? A prayer of faith to the One who can succor us.

On days when physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental ailments seem too much to bear? A prayer of faith to the One who suffered for all of our infirmities.

On days when we don’t feel worthy or just feel too worn down to read our scriptures, go to church, or offer a prayer? A prayer of faith. Even if it’s a silent one where we sit still for a moment of our crazy day because He is waiting for us.

On days when we just want answers to our prayers and the yearnings of our hearts? A prayer of faith because He knows all.

I don’t have all the answers. I can’t even pretend to, but I do know that He is waiting for each one of us to offer our own prayers of faith. He wants to listen. He wants to give us peace when we so desperately need it. He wants to be there for us. Most importantly, he wants to answer our prayers and bless us. We just have to get down on our knees and offer a prayer of faith. That is what he asks of us.

Revelations for Us

The Doctrine and Covenants have never been something I enjoy reading. I always saw the sections as revelations for others. Why did we have to read them? What made them stop adding to them? What made these revelations more important than ones today? 

This year, before we started reading D&C for "Come Follow Me" I heard multiple people say this was the reason they left the church. Huh? But why? 

As I have read this year I have truly enjoyed not only reading but figuring out why these revelations were made into scripture. Why were these personal messages to others supposed to be shared with anyone and everyone who is willing to read. 

1) These revelations are sometimes very similar to one another and yet are extremely personal. Heavenly Father knows each one of us personally, but His message to one can also be fitting for another. We just had conference. I promise that if you actually listened to the talks, you felt like one was just for you. The speaker was speaking for YOU in an answer to one of YOUR prayers. But, I also know there is someone else who was listening who felt the same way! All of these revelations that were for someone else can also be words to you. Even in D&C 25:16 after a revelation to Emma Smith we are told "this is [His] voice unto all." These revelations are for us. 

2) These revelations are in the beginning of the church. People are learning about the First Vision of Joseph Smith. They are starting to form a church. They working on translating the Book of Mormon and then having it printed. They are learning what it means to be a missionary. They are growing their own testimonies. We all have to grow and nourish our testimonies. We have to learn from their lessons and apply it in our lives. These revelations are for us. 

3) We can all get a blessing. Do we listen? Do we honestly feel that it is for us? Do we believe in what it says? Do we trust in Him and His promises? All of these revelations that are shared with are are for us. All of the blessings apply to us as well as those they were given to. All of the promises are promises to us. These revelations are for us. 

Today, I saw a post from someone in my ward, a girl I actually really liked. She announced she was leaving the church because she felt like "it didn't fit." I think we all come across times when it feels like something doesn't fit quite right. Life can be like a puzzle where you put a piece in that looks right, but you can't decide if it actually fits or not. Sometimes you come to know that it definitely fits and other times you realize it is just the piece you were looking for in a different area. But, I do not think it is ever the gospel. 

One of my favorite quotes from conference was, "Our entire lives should be filled with the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel is not part of our life, but our life is actually part of the gospel of Jesus Christ." The gospel is not a thing to fit into our lives. We must fit our lives into the gospel. The revelations in D&C are to people just learning to accept the gospel. The words are telling them how to change (for the better I might add) their lives to fit into the gospel but also provide warnings to those who let the devil prevail into making them feel like something doesn't fit whether it is the gospel doesn't fit in our lives or that we don't fit in the church. 

We are told these are the last days. I can only imagine Satan is trying his darndest to sway us to the other side, but that is why we have to hold to our testimonies. We have to study, learn from, and apply the scriptures. We have to keep going to church. We have to follow the prophet. We have to keep believing. We have to trust. We have to Let God Prevail. 

Hear Him

 A question posed by our church leaders recently is "How do you hear Him?" 

I can say I hear him in many different ways: a sparkle in someone's eye, a twinkling star, a beautiful day, sunshine, a smile, beauty all around in the big things and small... But, one way I also hear Him is through the scriptures. Now, all growing up I heard people talk about how they would pray and then they would open up their scriptures to a random page, start reading, and their answer would be right there! I never had that happen to me. I would always end up at some weird scripture in Songs of Solomon or the Index or something. But, as I read our readings from Come Follow Me and stay on schedule I find more and more answers that I need in my life at that time. 

I recently had to do a hard and yet easy thing. I turned down the job that I was wanting so badly. The one that I have been looking forward to and planning on for months. The only thing that made it easy is because I know what I believe, I know what I stand for, and I made the decision long ago that I would not let anyone or anything tell me otherwise. 

So, I have been left wondering "What now?" and praying to Heavenly Father asking Him what he would have me do. 

I got to give a talk in church on Sunday (see previous post if you're interested) on the lost 116 pages of the Book of Mormon manuscript. As I read and studied the topic I realized I had been like Martin and Joseph, pressing the Lord for a different answer when I had really already been given one that I just didn't like. Luckily, before I went too far, I realized my mistake. That is when I withdrew from the application process. As I continued to read about the topic in this week's Come Follow Me readings, Oliver and Joseph were really asking Heavenly Father the same question I was. What now? 

Four phrases/scriptures stuck out to me: 

10:3- "...see that you are faithful and continue on..."

10:4- "...be diligent to the end."

10:5- "Pray always that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work."

10:37- "...hold your peace until I shall see fit to make all things known...concerning the matter."

I once saw a quote that said to believe in what you pray for. As hard as it is, as much as I want not only a plan but a detailed outline to that plan shown to me, I know this was my answer. It is the answer to all of us who don't get the answer we want to an earnest prayer. Keep being faithful. Keep being diligent. Keep praying. Keep believing. Keep trusting. Hold on to the peace He has given you, and don't let the adversary make you forget that peace. Blessings and more answers and the next step will come. 

Talk Given in Church on 1/31/21

 Joseph Smith Jr. was a poor farm boy with a serious question. Which of all of the churches around should he join? He never considered that his answer would be none of them. When he went to the Lord with a genuine question he was actually visited by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. After his vision, he told only a few people, but word got out and spread quickly leading to heaping persecutions against this young boy. 8 years later, Joseph was newly married and he and Emma were expecting their first child. He had gotten the plates as well as the seer stones and had begun translating with Emma as his scribe. Persecution had continued to mount, and really the only person outside of Joseph’s family that actually believed him was Martin Harris.

Martin Harris was a true friend to Joseph as well as a blessing. Before he had arrived, Joseph was losing hope. He would never be able to publish the transcript of the Book of Mormon on his own. If Joseph sold absolutely everything he had, the publishing cost was going to be 15 times what he was worth. There was just no way. Then, Martin arrived and offered to pay for it all.

There was one problem. Martin’s wife, Lucy, and some other family members were having a hard time with all of it. Why was Martin willing to give so much time and money to something they had never actually seen? This is where the trouble began. Joseph wanted so badly to be able to show them, but he had been commanded to not show anyone the plates. So, he and Martin thought, “Well, what if we just showed the translation they had done so far?” That might be okay, right? Then, they will read and know it was truth!

Joseph asked the Lord and was given the answer of no. But why? Wasn’t this a righteous desire? He couldn’t afford to lose the faith and backing of Martin! After asking three times, he is finally told that Martin could take the 116 pages they had translated so far on one condition. Martin has to covenant with the Lord to only show them to his wife and just a select few other family members and has to keep them locked up. Martin goes off and not only shows those 5 people, but actually breaks the drawer they were locked in because his wife was out and had the key to show someone he wasn’t supposed to show them to in the first place.

We all know the story. Those pages end up being stolen, and become the lost 116 pages. So, what can we learn from this? I am sure there are many, many lessons, but I will focus on just three.

In the time they had waited for Martin to return with the pages, Emma had had her baby. The baby died, and Emma almost did. In a time of such personal turmoil, Joseph also worried about his standing with God because he had lost the ability to translate since Martin had left. 22 year old Joseph must have felt like he had ruined absolutely everything!! But, as he reached out to Heavenly Father as he had done other times before, the very first sentence of the revelation states: ”The works and the designs and the purposes of God cannot be frustrated, neither can they come to naught.” This is the first lesson, each of us have agency. We make decisions every day, some minor, and some with lasting effects. But, Heavenly Father has a plan, and His plan will not be foiled by choices we make. Some of our choices make it harder on us, but ultimately, his plan will work out. In this instance, thousands of years before the pages were lost, Heavenly Father had Nephi write some of what was in the plates of Lehi which comprised the lost pages. In response, Nephi writes,  “ And now, I Nephi, do not make a full account of the things which my father hath written, for he hath written many things…of which I shall not make a full account. But I shall make an account of my proceedings in my days. Behold, I will also make an abridgment of the record of my father.” 1 Nephi 1:16-17 (see also D&C 10)

The second lesson is in verses 7 & 8. “For behold, you should not have feared man more than god. Although men set at naught the counsels of god, and despise his words—yet you should have been faithful; and he would have extended his arm and supported you against all the fiery darts of the adversary; and he would have been with you in every time of trouble.” Do not fear man more than God because if we put our faith and trust in our Heavenly Father, he will be with us in every time of trouble. I am sure all of us have been subjected to peer pressure at some time or another. Do we fear what our friends or coworkers will think of us more than what Heavenly Father thinks of us? Do we sometimes ask and ask and ask the same question hoping for a different answer from him? I know I have! At this point, Joseph could have said, I don’t know how this is going to work out, but you know what? I’ve seen Jesus, and I know he can find a way to make it all work out. He was more practical. Remember, he was just a poor farm boy! He allowed the pressure of how difficult everything was going to be to overwhelm what God actually wanted him to do. Heavenly Father sometimes asks us to do hard things. He asks us to put him above all. Above being popular or stylish or funny or well-respected or rich or powerful. This is the most important choice we will make in this life.

The third and final lesson I chose is found in D&C 3:9-10- God is merciful, and no matter what mistakes are made, if we repent, we are still chosen. Joseph was so wrapped up in all of the bad things that had happened that he had quite frankly forgotten that God is still merciful. So, like the loving father he is, Heavenly Father reminds him. He says, “Thou art Joseph, and thou wast chosen to do the work of the Lord, but because of transgression, if thou art not aware thou wilt fall. But remember, God is merciful; therefore, repent of that which thou hast done which is contrary to the commandment which I gave you, and thou art still chosen, and art again called to the work.” Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. He knew Alma the Younger would be a prophet even as he was going around persecuting the church. He knew Jonah would go and preach to the people of Ninevah even as he ran to board a ship going the opposite direction. He even knew a young Tommy Monson was going to be a modern-day prophet as he set fire to a field. We all have a work to do! We might mess up, but if we repent and keep trying, we are still chosen! Heavenly Father doesn’t give up on us. He didn’t even give up on Martin Harris, the man who lost the pages, the man who was said to be wicked in this and other revelations given to Joseph. Ultimately, Martin even becomes one of the three witnesses that actually got to see the plates! Elder Holland once said, “However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.”

In summary, we lost 116 pages of scripture because of this mistake. I am sure there were valuable lessons on those pages, but we need to always remember:

1    1. There is a plan in place. No one, no matter how much agency they use could keep the Book of Mormon from coming, and no one today can keep the work from progressing and the second coming from happening! You are not powerful enough to ruin Heavenly Father’s plans.

2.   2. Don’t fall in to peer pressure. At the end of the day, your question to yourself should be: How should I appear before the Lord? And when you aren't sure what you should you you should follow the words of Anna from Frozen, “I'll walk through this night stumbling blindly toward the light and do the next right thing. And, with it done, what comes then? When it's clear that everything will never be the same again. Then I'll make the choice to hear that voice and do the next right thing.” Heavenly Father knows we aren’t perfect. He is used to working with imperfect people! The best part of it all is he meets us where we are and leads us to the next right step supporting us all along the way.

3.   3. After we make mistakes and feel like something is lost whether it be lost hope, lost faith, a lost testimony, nothing is so lost that Heavenly Father’s plan for you is ruined. If we make an effort to repent, to keep trying, and to get back on the path, we are still chosen.

In the words of Emily Belle Freeman, “His heart is full of wisdom for his words preserved on holy pages can bring comfort, direction, counsel, and guidance. His heart is full of understanding for every silver lining turned forth from sable cloud comes from Him. His heart is full of tenderness for he sends blessings from heaven and ministers with mercy. His heart is full of hope for even if today the obstacle seems impossible to surmount, he has promised that tomorrow he will work wonders among you. His heart is full of compassion for he sends angels who come running and continue to minister. His is a heart we can trust because his purposes fail not, and nothing can separate us from his love.”

No Enemies

In the spring of 1820 a young boy had a question that had been troubling him. What church should he join? After reflection and scripture study he made a plan to go into the woods and pray. When he did so, after darkness threatened to overtake him, a pillar of light appeared, and he spoke to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ face to face. In the vision, he was told that he should not join any of the churches. 

After the vision, he went to tell a leader from one of the churches what had happened, and there persecution against him began. He was just a boy, and miracles and visions like that only happened in times of old. Joseph began to keep what happened to himself, but word got out quickly. Despite the persecution, Joseph never retracted his statement on what he had seen. He said, "For I had seen a vision; I knew it and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it (JSH 1:25)."

After a few years he was visited again, this time by an angel. The angel told him "God had a work for [him] to do; and that [his] name should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues, or that it should be both good and evil spoken of among all people (JSH 1:33)." To this day, his name is had for good and evil throughout the world. But, in the words of the poet, Charles Mackay:

You have no enemies, you say?
Alas! My friend, the boast is poor;
He who has mingled in the fray
Of duty, that the brave endure, 
Must have made foes! If you have none, 
Small is the work that you have done.
You've hit no traitor on the hip, 
You've dashed no cup from perjured lip,
You've never turned the wrong to right, 

You've been a coward in the fight. 

As we each gain a testimony of the truth of the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, and the gospel of Christ, we must hold fast to the ground we have won, especially when it is challenged. We may make enemies, but this fight...our fight... the Lord's fight is worth fighting for. 

The Lemonade Year

2020 was truly a lemonade year. We were faced with crazy trials, a pandemic, stay-at-home orders, protests, a toilet paper shortage...Need I say more? But, with all of that we were also given opportunities to make those lemons into lemonade.  

I truly believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is led by an inspired prophet and other inspired leaders. Last year, one of the most difficult and unprecedented years, we were told to study the Book of Mormon. With commotion going on all around me, I found peace and joy each time I sat down to read it. I found ways to connect to the stories, I learned from its teachings, and I felt closer to Christ and my Heavenly Father as I took the time to open it, read it, and study it. 

As I looked and found how I could apply the Book of Mormon's teachings in my life, I realized how much influence it has had on me. 

I have a testimony of the importance of family history. After Nephi and his family were told to flee from Jerusalem, they were told to return to retrieve the brass plates which held their family history. They would not have been sent back if it weren't important. Then, as Mormon was abridging the Book of Mormon, he included the lineage of his people. He told us he could not include even 100th part of the writings. He wouldn't include that lineage if family history wasn't valuable for us. It is important to learn about where we come from so we can learn who we are. As I learn of my ancestors who have come before, I can feel their presence in my life helping to guide me to the path I need to be on. 

I have a testimony of family. The Book of Mormon begins with a story of a family much like any other. They fight, they argue, they love each other, they work together. It ends with a man pleading to future generations to listen to the teachings. He is filled with sorrow knowing his family is gone because of the wickedness of the people around him. I know how important family is. I have two degrees in it! But also, I am lucky enough to be a part of an amazing, loving one. 

I have a testimony of the power of prayer. So many times in the Book of Mormon, prophets pray. But, it is also amazing to read about Christ praying as well when he visits the Nephites. Although I am the worst at being patient and waiting on the Lord, I know He hears my prayers. I just need to be better at hearing Him. 

I have a testimony of justice and mercy. There are so many lessons in the Book of Mormon on this topic! I am ever so thankful for a Savior who came to satisfy justice. I am thankful that He is willing to show mercy to me even though I am so imperfect. I have so much to learn. Going along with that, I understand the need for the Savior and the Atonement. I have said it before, and I will say it again. There would be no point to living without Christ and his sacrifice. 

I have a testimony of the need to journal. What is the Book of Mormon if it isn't a journal of the people kept by chosen leaders? In the past year or so I have switched from journaling mostly about what is going on in my life to spiritual experiences I have had and what I have learned from them. What a change! I hope it will help not only me as I go through more trials which may or may not make me feel distanced from Him, but I also hope it will help my posterity understand who I am and what made me become whoever I become in life. I also know the importance of remembering. It is important to remember the good things, the bad things, and absolutely everything in between. When I look back on past experiences I tend to remember most things with fondness. I know it wasn't all sunshine and roses. I lived it! But, I lived through it, and I am thankful I can remember those experiences and how they shaped me. I also love that the Book of Mormon teaches us that how we react to trials also defines us. Just one of many, many examples is the difference in how Laman and Lemuel reacted in the wilderness to how Nephi reacted. May we all come to be like Nephi. 

I have a testimony of prophets (ancient and modern), of angels both seen and unseen, and of miracles in the past, present, and future. Our Heavenly Father is unchanging, so all of those things we are taught of anciently must surely be present today and in years to come. I am thankful for that. Without a loving prophet to lead and guide us, without the first prophet of the church, Joseph Smith, to restore the fulness of the gospel, and without miracles large and small my life would be so different. 

I have a testimony of gratitude. This Thanksgiving, President Nelson asked us to do a week of thankfulness and gratitude and post about one thing we were grateful for each day. The outpouring of people obeying his word brought such a positive light to social media and in my life that I can hardly describe. After so much negativity, it was so refreshing to read all of the things people were grateful for. I hope we can all remember how it felt during that week of gratitude and continue on with it as our world grows more and more negative.

I have a testimony of love and joy. I know what I must do to have those things in my life. I know the blessings that come from sharing them. I know the impact of each. Most importantly, I know my Savior more fully because of them. 

Most importantly, I have a testimony of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am beyond grateful for Him. I know He was born in a stable in Bethlehem. I know that He devoted His life to building the church and teaching the word of God. I know that He died on a cross for me and for all of us so that we may live again. I know He was resurrected. I know He lives. I know He loves me. I know Him. I know Him because of the Spirit that bears witness to me when I read the Book of Mormon. I know Him because of the warm embrace when I live His standards and obey His commandments. I know Him because I can feel His loving embrace when I feel defeated. I know Him because of the hand He extends to me when I fall short, so, so short. 

As we go into 2021 with refreshed hope, I pray that we can all come to know Him more and continue making our lemonade as we read in the Doctrine and Covenants and continue to endure. 

"The Lord is God, and the Spirit beareth record, and the record is true, and the truth abideth forever and ever." -Doctrine and Covenants 1:39