Complete Honesty

     I am going to be completely honest in this post. First off, I think boys are dumb. They do not make sense to me at all. When my coordinator constantly smiles at me like she knows something I don't, people have bets going on when (not if) I will get married to a specific person, I hang out with this person all of the time, and he even brings you hand warmers to the football game, I feel the ultimate in confusion because he has a girlfriend. If one more person tells me we make a cute couple I might freak out on them. I know we do. There is a problem though. He has a girlfriend. I just happen to be with him a lot. Our relationship has changed over the past couple weeks. We tease each other more, we have a lot more fun together, and he even hugs me and opens doors for me. Way to go Megan. You re-developed this crush you worked so hard to get rid of, and now he has a girlfriend.
     So, on to the next item of business. I finally had to tell myself that I am a workaholic and I like it that way. If I am not busy, I do not get anything done. Seriously I had a day to do nothing, and I literally got nothing done. No homework, no cleaning, no nothing. Also, I am extremely independent. I hate people doing things for me. I like to do things myself. So, now that my wrist is messed up, it is hard for me to take a step back and every once in a while let someone help me do something.
     I would also like to point out that I had a wonderful time at the Relief Society activity I went to this week. I was there from 7 to about 10:30, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I needed time to get away from everything school related and have fun eating, doing nails, sitting in the hot tub, doing spotlights, and getting to know some of the girls in my ward. It was so nice.
     Also, I have found out that as my life has seemingly come crashing down around me, it is giving me a chance to redefine my priorities and build myself up stronger. I hate taking tests and I always will. I am just not good at it. The Testing Center stresses me out to the max. I do not know why, but I cannot do well on a test this semester. I do not do terribly like last year when I got a 40 on one of my tests, but it irritates me that I cannot do well. Then, I have the boy problem. How can my life be so complicated when I am not even dating someone? Then, I have homework that I have no desire to do, eating is a bore, and when I wake up every morning I feel more tired than I did when I went to bed. What is going on? But, like I said I am slowly building myself up stronger.
     I am getting to be really good friends with all of my new roommates. I got to take time to spend with my old roommates on Tuesday, but that is the extent of it. I have been trying to not be with them as much as sad as that may be. I want my new roommates to like me, and they will never know how cool I am if I am never home. Then, I am working even harder in BYUSA without putting in as many hours. I am also working on homework and trying to focus on it more. As for the boy... well, I may never figure that out. My mom said he was just testing me, but I know he will never go out on a date with me as long as we work together since he is such a stickler for keeping relationships professional since we work together. Gosh darn it. I am working on it.
     As for tonight... Well, I went to the football game. We beat Utah State six to three. I love karma. The past two years of us winning is karma coming back for all of the crap I put up with in seminary. Gotta love it. Like I said, this boy brought me hand warmers and made sure my wrist was okay. When I left the game, I came back and spent more time with my roommates. They found me a new theme song. I love them. Seriously. We all piled on the love sac, listened to music, talked, laughed, and had a dance party. Well, that is my life right now. Fun, kind of chaotic, annoying at times, lovely, full of laughter, and the ultimate in confusion. In devotional we were told to look for blessings from the mundane to the magnificent. Mundane: I made it through this week. Magnificent: I made it through with new friends, new goals, and a new me.