If the Number on the Scale Was My Test Score and Vice Versa

There was nothing really special about today. It was an average Monday. I was a little let down not too far into it, and the feeling was hard to shake. I slowly walked into my meeting since I was already late, but I made it just in time to hear this thought. Succeed anyway. Be happy anyway. Do good anyway. Give your best anyway.... My best will never be enough. Honestly, I am not the skinniest or the prettiest. I do not feel comfortable in some clothes. I am not as small as I was freshman year of high school. But really, who is? I do not go on very many dates.... Dang that Anderson curse. I work all of the time, and I work hard only to be yelled at sometimes. I try to be a good friend for my friends or roommates to learn something secondhand. Then they do not have all of the information and get mad at me. I can study for hours on end to get a mediocre score on a test. I try to do everything right only to be tried and tested even more by Satan. You know what though? I am perfect in my own "I'm going to eat as many french fries as I want, wear whatever I want, do what I think is right, keep wading through the storm, and keep smiling" kind of way. It is between me and my Heavenly Father. None of the other pointless drama matters. I am doing my best, and that is all that matters right now.

The End of Homecoming Week

"Somebody peg Megan!" As the Student Alumni truck drove by, I heard Curtis yell that right before candy started coming from all directions right at me. Ducking, dodging, and finally hiding behind Makenna, I managed to avoid all of it. 

"MEGAN!!!!" *Mark waving and shooting the cheesiest grin ever my way before having to start his folk dance*

"Oh hey there, Megan!" *Bryon as he walks with his ballroom dance team*

I got so many more smiles, shout outs, and waves. You could have thought I was the parade. Watching the homecoming parade this year was more fun than being in it ever could have been. After the parade all of the roommates left to do their own things, and I took the opportunity to clean the apartment. Sweeping, dusting, organizing, mopping, vacuuming, and wiping down the counters and cabinets went on with "Happy Working Song" stuck in my head the entire time. Soon it was time to go to the football game. With Meghan, Spencer, Dave, Janessa, Kim, Dani, and Tyler I watched this game. My school (high school or college) has never won a homecoming game, but BYU did not let me down for my last homecoming before graduation. We won! A long wait at Wendy's and Hunger Games followed. So, homecoming week is over. I am tired but happy. The most stressful weeks of my job are over with, and now I can even more happily go to work and help plan events on a smaller scale. This week was so surreal. It is so odd to think this is my last homecoming. It was weird to not be in the parade. It was weird that we won the game. It was weird to not have a mum. It was weird to talk to Eric all night last night. It was weird that Justin didn't talk to me much at all (I found out why later). It is hard to believe that it was only a week. It feels like forever. So BYU, thank you for giving me the friends, the devotion, the fun, the activities, and the experiences that got me through this odd but amazingly fun week.

When I Was on the Bus, I Found a Nickel! I Wish I Had Pockets...

Yesterday I got to go and spend time with Dani before going out to Spectacular! with Jan. Today I got to go to the temple with Mak. Then, after a rather calm day, I got to spend time with Meghan. We had lunch and then went to the park, burrito'd in a blanket, and did absolutely nothing for over an hour. It was beautiful and somewhat perfect. Then, I got to go out to a movie with Mak, Jan, Dani, Tyler, Jake, and Anna. I love the people in my life! Monsters University is one of the cutest and funniest movies I have seen in a while. I was a little skeptical about it, but it was a quality movie, and the Pixar short before it was just as cute. It was perfect that they came out with this movie while I am in college. I was young when the first one came out, but now I am in college at the same time the monsters were. It made some things a lot funnier. Also, Summit (my high school) won their homecoming game tonight. Do you think BYU has a chance tomorrow? Let's hope so! I have never been to a homecoming game in which my school won. Sad. I know. Let's go Cougs!!!

And.... A late slug. :)

A Season for Courage

This week has been an odd one. I went in to it full of excitement. It did not take long on Monday (I woke up in a bad mood and stayed that way all day) for me to lose that excitement. By the end of work on Monday, I was tired and ready for it to be Friday once again. Honestly, the only bright moment of my day was when I got to text my little brother through all of my classes and my study group. Yes, I taught him how to make a Homecoming mum through text. At the end he said, "I'm so glad I have a nice sister!" It was a simple statement, but it made me smile. I am genuinely thankful that I get to be his big sister. He drives me insane sometimes, but who else would be my buddy/partner in crime all of the time? It is a blessing for me to have him in my life. Getting to help him pick what he wore today made me smile once again remembering how I help him choose his first day of school outfit every year. It also made me think of all of those shopping trips we force him to go on, but when we get home he is more excited about all of his new clothes than I am about mine (and trust me, I get excited). Okay, there was one other bright moment. My roommates and I had a little too much fun before FHE. What you see is all you get. No questions. 

 Tuesday, Flint (thank heavens I get to work with him. He makes my days brighter) noticed that I was not my usual self. I was burdened by all I had to do this week with three luncheons, a twelve hour day at work on Tuesday, Noondays, Hike and Light the Y, and a meeting on top of school, hope for a social life, and maybe even some sleep. He just hugged me and told me to listen to this talk: Of Things that Matter Most. My grandma tells me to not run faster than I have strength in every letter. I had never notice that until I heard it in my talk and connected it with each time she has told me. I write down all of the advice in her letters... except this one bit. I think this is one of the most important pieces of advice she has given me. I ran too fast, and I got burnt out before I really even started. This talk really helped me feel better. After our luncheon on Tuesday, I changed from my skirt to jeans and then drove a twelve passenger van up and down a mountain for the rest of the night. It was Hike and Light the Y. I was very stressed and uncomfortable at first, but by the end of the night I was driving like a pro. The Y was lit without any problems, and I got to spend some time with Christina. 

 Wednesday was an average day, but I felt so much better. My hair was curled and loosely pulled into a side ponytail, and I was wearing a seersucker skirt, navy button down shirt, sunshine yellow sweater, and even heels. I was put back together again. Today my dad sent me the sweetest text. He always makes me feel like I am the most special girl out there. I was dressed up once again (I love dressing up, but I am so glad I get to wear pants tomorrow) to go to another luncheon. The food wasn't quite as good, but I still enjoyed it and had fun. I had a medium rare steak for the first time. I like my steaks well done. It actually wasn't bad, and I would have eaten all of it if I had something other than a butter knife to cut it with. I still prefer my steaks cooked more, but I will eat them if they have some pink (or red) now. In these two luncheons, I have successfully impressed President Samuelson and Vice President Scharman, and I got them and Sister Samuelson to laugh. Oh my. It makes me so happy. I love all three of them. Also, I got free tickets to BYU Homecoming Spectacular! I have gone every year so far, and was afraid I would miss it this year like I missed the true blue foam. But, I have a wonderful job that has some perks. So, with Jan as my date I headed off to the Marriott tonight. I think this year was better than freshman year when Brian Stokes Mitchell was the guest. Nathan Pacheco with his perfectly fitting navy suit with silk black trim on the collar, skinny black silk tie, and beautiful voice made the everything else fade away. The first song he sang was this:

I had never heard all of the lyrics of this song before, but it is truly beautiful. Nathan Pacheco then told a personal story about when he was on a study abroad in Italy. He wondered how he could make singing a career. While there, he watched a CES devotional. If you want to read the whole talk click here. He said his favorite part was when Elder Holland says, "God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future—to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities. God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe." I loved this just as much as he did. It is beautiful. Other performers did their thing from singing to tap dancing, and there were inspirational stories of BYU students some of which made me cry but all of which warmed my heart. These were all wonderful, but my favorite parts were when Nathan Pacheco performed. He did his song "Tears from Heaven" which is my favorite song from his album. Tears from heaven wash me over. Give me shelter from the storm. Daylight is gone, but still I can see somewhere there's a place to keep me warm. Drifting in silence, hear my heart beat, breathing this feeling that I know. If danger and trouble come around me, somewhere there's a place to call my home. Watch over me and I will find my way back home. If in solitude I wander, far away from those I love. If my faith is torn asunder, light my way back through the stars above. Tears from heaven wash me over. Give me shelter from this storm. Daylight is gone, but still I can see light shining bright to guide me home. Watch over me and I will find the way back home. This song was sung after a story was told about two BYU students that got engaged and then hopped in the car with the guy's younger sister and started a long drive back home to tell their parents. It got late and all of them fell asleep. Yep, all of them including the guy who was driving. He woke up to his sister screaming and they were headed straight for a pile of dirt. A bad car wreck ensued. His neck was broken, and his little sister was killed. He had to learn to walk again and had to let go of the guilt he felt before starting his life over and marrying his now wife. It was perfect. Then, Nathan Pacheco got a little choked up telling about how much he loved BYU and getting to come back. To finish the program he sang "Don't Cry" which is another one of my favorites.

I loved getting to go tonight, and being able to go with Janessa made it even better. This was what I needed. I needed the Spirit, the tradition, the honor, the hope, the courage, the joy, the strength, the beauty, the happiness, the energy, and everything else that comes with being here at BYU that I sometimes forget when I get caught up in everything going on. Like President Uchtdorf said, "If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most." 

Oh! And with the help of our amazing mom, my little brother had a beautiful mum to give his "date." He is one good looking kid! Also, I want to point out that I started a trend. Everyone made fun of me in high school when I hung the mum from my neck. Turns out everyone does it now. For the win.

Eudaimonia

The good life. I all too often take for granted the beautiful place I live in, and it takes an adventure into the mountains to remind me. Going up the mountain, I felt closer to my Heavenly Father seeing all of his beautiful creations that He has put on this earth for me to enjoy. If you ever forget how amazing life itself is, take a trip to the Alpine Loop in the autumn. You will be quickly reminded of who you belong to. 

Just My Dose of Cuteness for the Day

Also, sorry for the double post today, but get ready for one of the cutest music videos you have ever seen in your life! One day... One day this will happen for me!

I Went from Zero to My Own Hero

I had the opportunity this Friday to go and do temple work for my great-great grandma. I go to the temple every week. What made this so special? Well, she is my relative, and not only that but I was born exactly one hundred years after her. That is pretty dang exciting. I almost didn't go to the temple after another long work and school week. Friday alone I had to go take rent, take a test, and then had to go to work and frantically prepare for Homecoming. As always, I am so thankful I went. This was truly a beautiful experience for me. 

After I went to the temple I wanted to go and celebrate Kennedy's birthday. When you get thirteen very different girls (Kennedy has the widest array of friends I have ever seen) together, you go to a Thai restaurant. I was really nervous, but I got to try a little of everything. Thai food is really good if you know what to get. I got Massaman curry which is a sweet and a little spicy curry with chicken, potatoes, carrots, and cashews. It looks like a stew and you eat it over rice. The more I ate the more I liked it. First Thai food experience was a success, and I came home beyond full. 

Now cue conference weekend. I really tried to pay attention to the speakers today, and I got a few tidbits of wisdom, but I kept thinking about one experience that I have had. So, a little over halfway through summer I got called in for a job interview. When I hung up, I was overwhelmed with the Spirit and just cried. I knew this interview was an answer to prayers. Everything was going to be okay. I went to the interview full of confidence, but the next day I got the call telling me that I did not get the job. I didn't understand and was deeply hurt by this news. A week later, Linda (the one who interviewed me) emailed and asked if she could pass on my resume. I told her she could, but I had little hope. I got called in, but was still not confident in getting the job. I had been let down so many times. After the interview I walked home with my head held low. Later that day, I halfheartedly answered the phone when Curtis called me. He told me I got the job. Then I realized that the first interview was an answer to prayers, just not the way I thought it would be. Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways, and sometimes I get upset because I do not understand or fully see the steps in His process. In this instance I was shortsighted and prideful. That is why I was so hurt and felt like all hope was lost after I did not get the job I was sure would be the answer to prayers. I had to be humbled before blessings could be granted. In one of the talks today (sorry, I can't remember which one) the speaker said, faith should always be pointed toward the future. I am going to try that. Because, as the same speaker said, significant but subtle blessings can easily be overlooked. 

Yesterday was also really hard for me. A dear friend, Donna Lear, returned to live with Heavenly Father. Sister Lear was always there to welcome you with a warm smile and happy, bright eyes. I grew up with her living right up the street. She was always the first one to respond when there was a need for service. I will truly miss her and her friendship not only for me, but my mom and all of the others she shared her warm heart with. I went into the temple fighting back tears and asking myself why. It was while I was there that I realized although it is sad and these wonderful women will be missed, Sister Lear and Sister Monzingo are now with Heavenly Father sharing their beauty and amazing personalities and strength with those in heaven. Today President Uchtdorf said the acorn of inquiry has often sprouted and grown into a great oak of understanding and knowledge. My simple acorn of why has at least sprouted. I am thankful for the knowledge the gospel gives me.

And just a little side note, President Monson waving a little boy over so he could lean over the stand to hold his hand absolutely made my day. That is the highlight of my conference weekend. He leads by example. Christ said, "Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not: for such is the kingdom of God." (Mark 10:14)