My motivation to finish this semester is gone. My dedication to BYUSA is dwindling. Honestly, it is my love for the people in my classes, teachers, and friends I work with that are keeping me going. I am tired. It is also a nice break from my hectic life when Andrew and I go out each night even if it is only for a short walk or sitting in the park on a blanket just looking at the stars. As the days slide by, I check things off of my list of things I have to do before the semester is over. After today, I have 12 things I have to finish before classes are over on Monday. So much to do, so little desire. Yesterday was the Passing the Torch ceremony for BYUSA. I really was not happy about having to go, and it was hard to watch. I made it through...
One of the things I had on my list for today was to go back and listen to one of the devotionals I half listened to a few weeks ago. I went back for one quote in particular, but I learned a few things. Michelle Marchant said, "One of [Heavenly Father's] greatest desires is to guide your future as he has your past." I have been learning to trust in Him lately. I made the goal to put all of my trust in Him when I was going through such a hard time, and honestly amazing things have happened since I decided to do that. One of his greatest desires is to guide my future... He is welcome to it. She then read the scripture Abraham 3:22-23. They say, "Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all there were many noble and great ones; and God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These will I make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou was born." She then proceeded to say, "I testify that your presence and purpose upon this earth are as important to God as any of the noble and great ones who have gone before." We are all the noble and great ones that Abraham talked about. We have been chosen. Our Heavenly Father loves all of us, and he does not see any one of us as better than another. We all have a divine destiny.
Then, I came to the quote I was looking for all along. Elder Maxwell said, "The same God that placed that star in a precise orbit millenia before it appeared over Bethlehem in celebration of the birth of the babe has given at least equal attention to placement of each of us in precise orbits so that we may, if we will, illuminate the landscape of our individual lives so that our light may not only lead others but warm them as well." And... my desire and motivation is back. I want my light to not only lead but to warm others. I want people to smile because class was cancelled because I was so happy. I want people to feel comfortable in the office because of my warm, inviting smile. I want to be the girl everyone may not know but can make them smile and have a better day anyways. This is the last week of classes. I can't give up now! Finals are coming!!
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